On Under the Dome last night, after the riots broke out and before the rain, the cop told Barbie that the other cop told her, on her first day of the job, that when things like this happen the first thing you have to do is keep your cool (or something) and the second thing you have to do is whatever is necessary. As the closest thing to a cop we have for us at Videogum (one of two bloggers) I’m going to put on a happy face and tell you that you should just relax. Please stay calm and proceed to the exits (the exits in front of your open graves) slowly and, while proceeding, please shut your mouths and listen to what I have to tell you: Robots have developed the ability to find our veins, (even if you have veins that the doctors and nurses always tell you are kind of hidden, which you think they much just be saying because maybe they’re new) (and they don’t want to just tell you that they’ve been poking around on your arm because they aren’t exactly sure what they’re doing?), poke in needles, and drain our blood. As far as I can tell — AS FAR AS I CAN TELL — they are operating under their own authority and we will be a dead, bloodless species by nightfall. PLEASE DO NOT PANIAHHHHHHH, OKAY, NEVERMIND, DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY, I THINK THIS IS WHAT THE COP WAS TALKING ABOUT! WHEN YOU GET TOO SCARED BY WHATEVER YOU’RE SAYING?! I DON’T KNOW, STEAL EACH OTHERS IPODS AND JUMP INTO YOUR GRAVES, IT’S ALL OVER!

Or, wait. I guess they’re just–AHHHH, NO, STILL AFRAID, MAKING A SCARY THINK SCARIER, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!! (Via Uproxx.)

Comments (13)
  1. So many references to open graves and things that could go in them today on the old VG.

  2. I thought it was going to be “Robot Rump.”–Tom Servo.

  3. Silly, robots don’t want our blood, they have no use for it!

    They want our souls.

  4. Re Under The Dome last night: I am still surprised by what surprises them. Like, the reporter found out that the children have seizures but as the audience, we know that. Yet the music builds tension and I sit there thinking, “What’s tense about this? We learned this in the pilot!”

    • Also, one minute people are literally killing each other, and the next minute they are helping each other with buckets of water? “Sorry I just tried to rip your arms off for that bottle of soda. Here, let me help you with that.”

    • And speaking of the buckets of water, did you notice how nearly everyone with a bucket was holding it over their heads to collect the water? If that thing fills up, that’s 10 gallons of water you’re holding. Won’t that be heavy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to pull the buckets out of your home or store and put them on the ground? That would definitely mean less strain for you, the bucket owner.

  5. I look forward to the new craze for robot vampire romance.

  6. This sounds like it was narrated by the Prancercise lady

  7. It’s time to start sleeping in shifts while someone keeps watch. We have to stay vigilant.

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