As the Warner Bros/Legendary panel at Comic-Con came to a closZZZzzzzZzzzzzzzZZZzzzz. Ah, whoops! Ugh, how unprofessional, I’m sorry. It’s just that all of this Comic-Con news has been so excitZzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzz. I just keep fallinzzZZzzzzzzz. Ahh! I just keep falling asleezZZZzzzzzzzz. Ugh, before that happens again let me try to get out the fact that Zack Snyder made a big announcement at the end of the Warner Bros/Legendary panel about the next Superman movie. Or should I say, the next SUPERMAN/BATMAN MOVIE! From Entertainment Weekly:

At that point, he called Harry Lennix — who you’ll recall basically played the Nick Fury character in Man of Steel — for a charismatic dramatic reading. (How charismatic? Lennix was wearing an ascot.) He read a key line from Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns [Ed Note: Spoilers I think, unless you already know, in which case nevermind.]:

“I want you to remember, Clark. In all the years to come. In all your most private moments. I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember the one man who beat you.”

That line is, of course, spoken by Batman — and that “Clark” he’s referencing is, of course, Superman. (The quote comes after a lengthy battle between the two heroes.) As Lennix finished speaking, a giant Superman logo appeared on the Hall H screen … and it was superimposed on the Batman logo. So there you go: There is another Superman movie coming, and it will co-star Batman.

Ah! But I’m not ready for a Batman who doesn’t do the Christian Bale voice! As they say, though, Bat waits for no Man. To make that point even clearer we have for you today an ENTIRELY EXCLUSIVE look at Zack Snyder’s Batman/Superman movie screenplay! And you don’t even have to go to Comic-Con for it, thank god!

EXT. GOTHAM CITY – DAY

Looking weary after driving to Gotham City all the way from Metropolis, Superman pulls up to his moderately priced (for Gotham City) hotel, gets out of his Jeep, grabs his overnight bag from the back, and tosses his keys to the valet. To shield himself from paparazzi, he puts a bag over his head and sunglasses on top of it, but the paps still spot him, thanks to his Superman suit.

PAPARAZZI
Superman!
Over here, Superman!
Superman, what’s going on with kryptonite?!

Superman rushes past them into the hotel, holding his bag to his chest in an attempt to cover the Superman symbol on his suit.

CUT TO:

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Batman scrolls through an e-reader on his Macbook Air and stops when he gets to a post on a blog that is not Dlisted but that is formatted the same way as Dlisted and has the kind of content Dlisted has. The post is titled “SUPERMAN IN GOTHAM, WOULD YOU HIT IT (IF HE KEPT THE BAG ON)?” and contains a photo of Superman entering the hotel. Batman rolls his eyes at his laptop like, “Ugh, are you serious?”

BATMAN (yelling)
ALFRED, GET IN HERE!

Alfred enters the room the way Willy Wonka comes out at the beginning of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — first limping and then a somersault.

BATMAN
Thanks, Al, but that’s not enough to cheer me up today.

ALFRED
Uh-oh, that almost always works. Except for when…
(beat)
NO!

BATMAN
Yep.

ALFRED
Are you serious?!

BATMAN
Mmhm. Look.

Batman shows Alfred the post on the gossip blog. Alfred shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

ALFRED
Just ignore him.

BATMAN
You know I can’t just ignore him. It would be against my professional interests to ignore him, plus I’m sure he knows that I know that he’s here, and I don’t want to seem like I’m the one being evasive.

ALFRED
So what are you going to do?

BATMAN
Text and see if he wants to get a drink, I guess?

ALFRED
That sounds fine enough.

BATMAN
Yeah. Okay, get out of here so I can think about what to say.

ALFRED
Good luck.

Alfred does a silly walk all the way to the door, but looks back and sees Batman staring down at his phone — he hadn’t even been watching.

CUT TO:

INT. SUPERMAN’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Superman’s iPhone chimes, notifying him of a text. The text is from Batman and reads, “Saw you’re in town. Drinks?” Superman hasn’t turned off the ridiculous option on his iPhone that notifies the sender when a text has been read, so the text under the text bubble now reads, “READ.” Superman puts his phone down without responding and lies in bed for a nap.

CUT TO:

INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY

Batman looks at his iPhone and watches as his text is marked “READ.” He waits for the ellipsis indicating the recipient is typing a response. After a few beats, the ellipsis still hasn’t come.

BATMAN
I’m going to fucking kill him.

Wow, Zack Snyder is going in a different direction for sure, but he’s staying true to the comics, which is nice, and I think it’s going to be a hit!

Comments (60)
  1. You know what really pickles my beets? They clearly want to make a Justice League movie to compete with The Avengers, but I’ll bet you all the money I have (not a lot of money) that they’re dragging their feet because they don’t want to include Wonder Woman. I’ve pretty much given up hope that she’ll ever get her own movie, and now I’m beginning to think that they’d going to do all they can to keep her out–or greatly reduce her role–of any ensembles, too. Because LADIES? As SUPERHEROES?????? That’s madness, I tell you!

    So now we’ll get two hours of Batman and Superman scowling at each other and brooding off into the distance about how being an incredibly powerful dude is so haaaaaaard.

    • And with that, I’ve filled my Monday typo quota.

    • I fear/suspect that Wonder Woman will be relegated to answering phones at Justice League HQ. Big Barda will head up the steno pool. Donna Troy will giggle whenever the Martial Manhunter pinches her butt.

      • And at least one of them will die in a particularly horrible and pointless way, but it’ll be okay because one of the men will feel very, very sad about it!

      • Big Barda Steno Pool Lead = just made my afternoon.

        • Do you think she’d be anything more than a minor character? She has an invisible jet (where she is totally visible!) and a lasso. These do not an interesting character make, male or female. The problem is less Wonder Woman and more that comic writers rarely create strong female superheros/villains.

          http://img.engadget.com/common/images/4575937614869136.JPG?0.8624495567024028

          • Uh, Wonder Woman comics have been published continuously since 1941. She’s one of DC’s most famous characters. She does a hell of a lot more than ride in a jet and use a lasso. The original Batman TV series was also very silly, but no one’s used that as an excuse to not make Batman movies.

            And I agree that there are a lot of issues with female characters in comics, but to say that comics writers “rarely” create strong female heroes and villains is just…not true.

          • Hit submit to too soon! “There are literally hundreds of them, but they’ve been continuously ignored or pushed aside in film adaptations” should be tacked onto the end of that comment.

          • Yeah, I mean who wants a superhero with super strength, the ability to fly, a passion for justice, and a strong sense of morality to protect humanity? She’s so wacky and weird, there is just no way to put her into a movie!!

    • Ladyrainicorn, I totally sympathize with your frustration.

      However I wonder if I would only be more frustrated if/when they finally do add Wonder Woman and make her just as problematic as every other female character in every other super-hero movie. In a way I’d almost rather them leave her out, only so they don’t fuck her up even more.

      The fact that I’d rather them omit her obviously that points to a greater problem with representation of female characters.

      #mixedfeelings

    • The guy who plays Superman is really good at brooding, though. I may sit through a movie of just him looking angrily in the distance. He does not have to play Superman in that movie, just wear that Superman on an oil rig outfit and have that beard and just look into the distance. I have watched worse movies than 2 hours of a handsome man brooding to get glimpses of Henry Cavill’s face.

      In summary, he’s pretty.

    • I was coming here to write THIS VERY COMMENT. I mean, they are seriously so scared to make a movie with her, despite her being one of their Big Three characters along with Mr. Obvious 1 and Mr. Obvious 2, they made 3 more Batman movies, 2 Superman movies no one cared about, a terrible Green Lantern (!!) movie, planned a Flash movie, and planned a Batman AND Superman movie without even talking about her.

      I also read a while ago DC/movie studios rejected a Josh Whedon penned Wonder Woman movie. If they didn’t want that, they clearly don’t want to make her into a movie.

    • I don’t know. Who wouldn’t want to see a scantily clad lady running around kicking dudes and tying them up with a magic rope? I think it’s her cuckoo backstory that the movies don’t know what to do with.

      • They turned Iron Man’s wackado backstory into the most successful superhero franchise around. Superman’s backstory is no crazier than Wonder Woman’s, and creative liberties exist. Do whatever you have to and make her work, it’s not that difficult. She is incredibly similar to Superman and Thor and they have both had successful movies. She also, like most superheros, has had a rebooted origin. They have a lot of options.

  2. Here’s hoping they finally dust off the ol’ bat nipples for this one.

  3. This post made me laugh aloud.

  4. My boss was at Comic-Con and he said that the moment when they revealed the superman/batman logo was a very big deal and that you could feel the emotion in the room and that it was very powerful.

    • I was in the room & people went apeshit. Fist pumping, a man jumped from his seat & trashed in the aisle (I’m not exaggerating, he jumped up and then into the aisle and then grabbed his head & jumped up & down????), a lady behind me wailed, a girl in front of me threw her arms up & then wilted on her friends shoulder. It was hilarious & amazing.

  5. I’ll bet you anything Batmandict Cumberbatch’s phone is ringing off the hook.

  6. Ugg, all I learned is that I’m glad I have an android because that ellipses/read text thing is awful!

  7. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I refuse to see any super-hero movies until Mr. Burton or Mr. Schumacher are directing.

    I MEAN COME ON.

  8. I’m Preeetty sure there are enough of these amazing VG spec scripts lying around get a robust Vimeo channel of original motion pictures starring Gabe, Kelly and Birdie in various roles off the ground…

  9. So in this movie will Batman and Superman be enemies? Frenemies? Why are they fighting?

    • If even the WORKING title of this movie were leaked to be Batman & Superman: Frenemies, I would be quite, quite excited.

    • Plus your avatar makes me think that a Kristen Wiig Catwoman could be pretty spectacular.

    • WELP, The Dark Knight Returns (spoilers for a graphic novel by Frank Miller most people will never read, and that’s totally acceptable, it only appeals to a VERY NICHE audience of those who like and/or tolerate Batman and Frank Miller, and I don’t think that’s very many people!) has the two of them dukin’ it out at the end, both as older men. (Batman’s actually kind of fat in TKDR. It’s weird!) Basically, they have a lot of respect for each other, but they’re fighting and fighting pretty fiercely.

      If that’s not frenemies, I don’t know what is.

      • I love Batman so so much, but ugh Frank Miller. Ugh forever. Take your goddamn Batman and your Dick Grayson, age 12, and go somewhere to be creepy alone.

        • EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY

          I’ve read a lot of Batman comics (she said, wondering what it all meant), and while some writers are weaker than others, I can’t think of one I like less than Frank Miller. I think both TKDR and Year One are decent stories, but there’s something about their execution I just straight up don’t like. Usually there’s nuance to Batman’s darkness, and I don’t see it in his writing at all.

        • Please don’t send Frank Miller somewhere alone with a 12-year-old boy.

  10. I would watch Kelly’s version of this movie, for sure. Please have my $11-20 (whatever movies will cost in 2014) in advance. Maybe you should call up Zach Braff and get a kickstarter for this thing.

    If for some reason Kelly’s masterpiece isn’t their direction, I will only watch the movie if it’s this;
    http://www.dorkly.com/comic/51645/injustice-gods-and-normal-humans-who-are-rich-and-smart-among-us

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