Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: What’s up, dude
Gabe: nothing much, man
Gabe: paid some medical bills this morning
Gabe: ate a couple bites of peanut butter out of the jar
Gabe: just putting one foot in front of the other, you know?
Kelly: I guess that’s all any of us can do
Gabe: it’s kelly’s world we just blog in it
Gabe: what is up with you, though? how have you been?
Kelly: I’ve been ok. It’s been hot in new york, I’m not sure if you’ve heard
Gabe: it’s hot everywhere, grow up
Kelly: Ugh nevermind
Kelly: It’s fine I don’t want to talk about anything
Kelly: I had to water my plants 2x today
Kelly: That’s how hot it is
Gabe: you have plants?
Gabe: how is this the first i’m hearing about it?!
Gabe: i cannot believe you’ve never introduced me to your plants
Kelly: Eek! I’m sorry, this is awkward
Kelly: I like to keep my plants pretty private usually, that was a bit of a mess up
Kelly: The heat is getting to me
Gabe: you like to keep your plants private
Gabe: but you will exploit them
Gabe: the first chance you get
Gabe: if it spices up your weather talk
Gabe: the plants are your “nuclear option” when it comes to talking about the weather
Kelly: So hey did you hear about the emmys
Gabe: i feel like i’ve met her
Kelly: Very good
Kelly: Give THAT an emmy
Kelly: So, they are having the emmy awards again
Gabe: oh cool
Kelly: And they’re still doing it about TV
Gabe: you always wonder
Gabe: what year will be the last year
Gabe: of #TheEmmys
Kelly: It generally does take up a large amount of television criticism between emmy awards
Kelly: “Will The Emmys Come Again?”
Gabe: will the emmys get snubbed?
Gabe: from this year’s awards?
Gabe: or will the awards give the emmys a nod?!
Kelly: Speaking of snubs, can you believe that Pretty Wild did not get nominated?
Kelly: We just heard about it this year, I think that qualifies it
Gabe: Netflix should def have gotten a nom for their streaming of Pretty Wild
Kelly: It just shows how behind the times the emmys are
Kelly: That they do not have a category for best tv show streaming on netflix
Gabe: and the winner for Best Supporting Actress in an Instant Stream is….
Gabe: MURPHY BROWN!
Gabe: i do not actually know if that is on streaming
Gabe: and i also do not think
Gabe: the woman who played murphy brown’s name was also murphy brown but maybe
Gabe: there’s no way to know
Gabe: sadly, information like that is lost to the Prince of Persia Sands of Time
Kelly: Well Murphy Brown, if you do not have your name, at least you have your Streaming Emmy.
Gabe: i feel like people always get so bent out of shape when awards nominations come out, especially considering they have no personal stake in the Emmys
Gabe: like, it’s one thing if your mom didn’t get a nomination
Gabe: then i guess you could be like
Gabe: “Hey! You snubbed my mom, Mr. Emmy!”
Kelly: Oh yeah that would be rough
Gabe: but also i feel like this year’s emmy nominations
Gabe: are a nice reminder
Gabe: that there’s a lot of good TV out there!
Gabe: 30 Rock, Girls, Louie, Veep, Arrested Development, Enlightenment, Parks and Recreation, Mad Men, House of Cards, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, Top of the Lake, Behind the Candelabra, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Bob’s Burgers
Gabe: these are all good shows that got nominated for awards
Gabe: congratulations to all of us
Kelly: Hahaha yes
Kelly: Lots of non-snubs
Gabe: my only frustration is that Candy Crush didn’t get nominated
Gabe: the world of enteratinment is changing
Gabe: and it’s time for the Emmys to represent what we are watching, which is Candy Crush
Kelly: It is upsetting that Candy Crush did not get nominated but the nomination for Vine was a step in the right direction
Gabe: i have noticed a lot of people being upset that the actress from Orphan Black wasn’t nominated, which makes sense, she does a good job at acting
Gabe: but i think maybe what happened
Gabe: is that like me, the Emmys watched two or three episodes of Orphan Black it can’t remember and decided that it sucked regardless of how good the actress was at acting and it deleted Orphan Black from its DVR queue because life is short
Gabe: and then when it came time to mail in the nominations, the Emmys were like oh shoot! she was good at her job even if her job was to be on a terrible show that has what you think is going to be a fun premise but then fails to deliver on that premise on almost every level but it’s too late now anyways because I already put the envelope with all of the nominations into the mailbox
Kelly: Wow I do feel like we’re really getting an inside look into what it’s like to be an Emmy voter
Gabe: and the Emmy for Most Ridiculous Expectation That The Viewing Public Will Believe A Show Clearly Filmed in London or Vancouver is Supposed to Take Place in New York City goes to….ORPHAN BLACK!
Gabe: otherwise i think all of the nominations are pretty spot on
Gabe: like, people who don’t think Modern Family or Big Bang Theory should get as many nominations as they do seem to forget that they are talking about the medium of television, which was literally invented to sell cigarettes and the American people love those shows a lot, so what is the problem?
Gabe: what is YOUR problem, kelly?
Kelly: Mostly just how hot it is JK
Kelly: One question I have is, are there dramas out there that America is watching, like they are watching Big Bang Theory, that are not nominated?
Kelly: Because all of the drama nominees seem to be pretty in line with what everyone agrees is good
Kelly: Like, actually good, not just cigarette money good
Gabe: with the possible exception of The Newsroom
Kelly: Do dramas that are actually good get preferential treatment, whereas comedies that are “actually good” do not?
Gabe: i think it’s easier
Gabe: a good drama can pretty categorically be considered a good drama
Gabe: whereas people disagree pretty strongly about what constitutes a “good comedy”
Gabe: so i don’t know that it’s preferential treatment
Gabe: i think it’s just consensus
Kelly: Yeah, I think that seems right.
Kelly: Okay then.
Gabe: also comedy nerds get way more bent out of shape
Gabe: over what they perceive to be injustices in comedy
Gabe: than drama nerds
Gabe: which may not even exist
Gabe: and may be a thing i just made up
Kelly: And are much more vocal about it than the drama nerds
Kelly: b/c they are ghosts
Gabe: the drama nerds are ghosts?
Gabe: too spooky
Gabe: take it back
Kelly: I’m sorry!!
Kelly: I’m sorry, I take it back
Kelly: There aren’t any ghosts
Kelly: Except for the ghosts of everyone who got snubbed.
Gabe: KELLY THIS ISN’T FUNNY!
Kelly: I’m sorry, Gabe! It’s the truth!
Gabe: I’M ALL ALONE IN MY APARTMENT!
Kelly: And they’re there with you, probably!
Gabe: WHAT IF THE EMMY GHOSTS COME TO GET ME?!
Gabe: OUT! OUT SNUBBED SPIRITS!
Gabe: do you know how you exorcise Emmy ghosts?
Gabe: you just tell them that they’re pretty
Gabe: that’s all they want
Gabe: I AIN’T AFRAID OF NO EMMY GHOST
Kelly: Wait, how do you know that though?
Kelly: Is that the first thing you tried?
Kelly: Weird, but I’m glad it worked and I won’t ask any more questions
Gabe: Scully over here
Gabe: take it easy, Scully
Kelly: Whatever you say, Mr. Mulder
Kelly: I think that was Scully’s catchphrase
Kelly: Wait, was X-Files nominated?
Gabe: for the fifth year straight
Kelly: Fcking Emmys, man.
Gabe: you said it, sister
Gabe: fingers crossed this chat gets a nom at this year’s Chatties