aniston_smartwater

Jennifer Aniston has been the official spokesperson for SmartWater for awhile now, and this new ad is certainly in line with the ads that have come before it, but it still does not answer the question: what? Seriously, what even is this ad? Jennifer Aniston is pretty and seems nice and is certainly famous, and OK, she is surrounded by clean white sheets so you really get the sense that this water is clean and NOT one of those bottled waters full of dirt, but then you are like, well, why is she drinking it in bed? And who is she looking at? Why is she sitting in bed that way, that seems like an uncomfortable way to sit in bed. Did you know that 60 percent of human communication is through body language? SO WHAT IS HER BODY TRYING TO SAY? Also is this a water for bed time only? You would think a water filled with the electrolytes my body craves might be a thing you drink after a tough work out, but it turns out it is just sleepy time tea? But only when you are sleeping in what is clearly a hotel? That is not where Jennifer Aniston lives. It is a hotel. OK, so we know this is a water for when you wake up in a hotel. A hotel that is canted at a preposterously dangerous angle. In the middle of nowhere. This is basically the kind of water that Tony Soprano should drink when he is Kevin Finnerty after Uncle Junior shot him and he had to live out by heaven airport. Look up to the clouds. From your hotel room window. Overlooking the industrial park. That bedside table sure could use a lamp! This is still just an ad for fucking water, right? I’ve been talking about it for so long that I am no longer sure what is going on. Would you hit it? Would you have sex with this water?!

Comments (22)
  1. Did SmartWater kill Jennifer Aniston?

  2. It seems like there should be a salad somewhere in this picture. A cup of organic yogurt, at the very least.

  3. That is seriously an uncomfortable way to sit. It looks like her legs are melding into one leg. Or maybe she is lying on her stomach and resting her elbow on a ghost in the sheets?

  4. Maybe the best part of this ad is how clear it is that she isn’t actually holding a bottle of SmartWater, but has had it photoshopped into her hand.

  5. SmartWater: pure hydration for when you’re just chilling in the shallow bowl that has been burrowed into your stock image hotel room bed.

  6. Vapor distilled purity. Just like the clouds. EVER HEARD OF ACID RAIN, SMARTWATER?!?!?!?

  7. These Smartwater people really have their heads in the clouds.

  8. She is drinking bottled water at bed time for the same reason we all do: Because it is hard to drink water from a glass when you are half asleep without spilling it all over your face like a moron. Celebrities! Just like us.

    • The reason I drink bottled water at bed time is because I really love waking up in the middle of the night and stumbling in the darkness to the bathroom.

  9. This is just a teensie bit off topic, but the weirdest thing is happening at my work. A lady walked down the hall a little bit ago singing Venus (make my dreams come true–that one; not the Bananarama one) at the top of her lungs. Then about ten minutes later, some guy comes down the SAME hallway, whistling the SAME song. I’m slightly freaked out. I think I may need some cloudy SmartWater.

    • Oh my god, I love that. Once, my girlfriend and I were walking down the street and we both simultaneously burst into the chorus of “Kids in America” for some reason. Needless to say, I married her.

  10. No. Well …maybe if…

    Yes.

  11. More like FARTwater

  12. Drinking a glass of water while you’re still in bed will wake you up better than a cup of coffee, actually! Smart water is dumb because what’s wrong with regular water? I’m just fine with regular water, thanks. But I do keep a (refillable) bottle of tap water beside my bed for this very purpose and I’m sure I look as refreshed and glow-y as Janniston here once I’ve downed it.

  13. Isn’t Jennifer Anniston the face of swampbutt?

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