No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Hahaha. Okay, maybe my immediate negative reaction was a bit much. It is sweet. It is certainly hard to say “No.” to a woman crying tears of joy at the idea of spending the rest of her life with her sweetheart. BUT STILL! “Honey, how did you get Zach Braff to help you with your video proposal that you put together in a way that makes it very clear you were always intending to put it on the Internet with the hope of it ‘going viral’?!” “I donated to his Kickstarter.” “Oh! How much* of our money, the money that we will need to fund so many things at this point — wedding, honeymoon, children, general living — in order to start our life together, did you have to donate to this wealthy man in order for him to fund a movie?” “UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.” Hahahah. I haven’t painted the picture of a very pleasant woman, BUT SHE MAKES SOME GOOD POINTS! To be fair to this guy, though, you for sure didn’t want Zach Braff to have to deal with the money people. So I guess it’s kind of a win-win.

Congratulations to he happy couple. I’m sorry I said “No.” so many times to you, but you kind of deserved it. You also deserve all the happiness in the world. I love you! Have a good life! (Via Uproxx.)

*The answer is $500, which is less than I expected, to be fair. But still a good amount! Certainly not nothing!
Comments (28)
  1. That about listening to Matt’s music is such bullshit. We all know he was really listening to The Shins.

  2. Why don’t people video tape their divorce proposals?

  3. When Zack Braff sang that snippet of “Single Ladies” real fast and in a terrifying falsetto, I think my ovaries shriveled up.

  4. God help me, if a dude ever told every person (and animal) I know that he was going to propose to me and then forced me to watch a video of them all pressuring me to say yes, I would sock him in the jaw. But congrats to these two crazy kids!

    • I think the more people involved and the more people trying to get me to say yes because it’s in public the more I would enjoy saying no. Streaming on the internet with a minor celebrity involved? I think I would do a back-flip at the opportunity to say no. It’s just my contrarian nature. Please ensure all your marriage proposals to me occur in a dark and quiet room with no transmitting devices within if you want your proposal to me to be successful.

    • The way I see it, it’s kind of nice, because you already have Exhibit 1 in your “I couldn’t NOT throw him through a window after that” defense. And it is a good defense! Case closed! A round of not guilties for my friends, barkeep!

    • Your jib is nicely cut.

    • If I’ve learned anything in all my years on this planet, it’s to NEVER take advice from bunnies.

  5. I like the part of his song that goes “I don’t have money for nothing”.

  6. I’m sorry but at the end when he says, “WHELP! Will you marry me?” so abruptly, I can only assume he is a total douche-loser who wears leather bracelets with studs and is really into his own Mraz-esque music. I may be a grump, but I don’t like it!

    • And he doesn’t make a great case for himself in that song. “I’m just an ordinary guy. Our babies will probably starve and die. I spend most of my time high. I don’t want to lie, I’m just an ordinary guy.”

  7. What happens after she realizes she is not marrying Zach Braff?

  8. I just read this article about a fiancee getting fake kidnapped http://gawker.com/groom-gets-shingles-after-traumatizing-bachelor-party-k-720517469 by his friends, so I was like Get out of here garbage people,and let’s head to Videogum to feel better. And lo and behold, I come to find this.

    Everybody, stop it with the recording proposals and pranks.

  9. Why is this video not called “My Proposal”?

  10. I honestly hope that someone does a study someday (next year? 5 years? 15 years?) that unearths the correlation between insane proposals and whether or not the couple lasts more than 10 years. My guess is that the answer is probably no. Insane, extravagant weddings too.

    I hate the wedding industrial complex A LOT.

  11. So, instead of just proposing to the love of his life like an ordinary person that values her and wants to honor and respect her for the rest of his life, he instead turned his marriage proposal into a ridiculously veiled marketing campaign for his crappy music?

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