If an iced coffee at Cumberland Farms costs 99 cents (in any size, as if that even makes sense. “Oh, just your smallest size for the same price, please,” said no one in America ever) how many of them are they going to have to sell to recoup the investment they made in this ad? I know that David Hasselhoff was only working to take home whatever was left over at Craft Services at the end of the day, but they still had to get a green screen and a prop surfboard. Not to mention that swooping helicopter shot of the cliff at the beginning, unless that is just b-roll from The Italian Job and they CGI’ed a cup of coffee into the shot. We’re talking of upwards of 50 iced coffees that Cumberland Farms is going to sell, which might not sound like much, except NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN TO A CUMBERLAND FARMS. So, you do the math.

Comments (21)
  1. The only place I know that sells Cumberland Farms coffee is the no-name gas station next to the fire station next to a housing project for disabled people where a man got shot a couple of years ago. And evidently their advertizing sorta works, because I do remember where their product is sold.

  2. “Cream and sugar?”
    “No, Hoff & Hoff.”

  3. pretty weird choices for green screen backgrounds, i don’t really associate drinking coffee and hanging out on the beach, david hasselhoff is thirsty for love in all the wrong places

  4. I hate this commercial with a passion. And it’s always on! Unlike Flanny, however, I don’t know where one would go to purchase said coffee, so I will continue to boycott a product I have no means of obtaining.

  5. If their iced coffee is just what’s left over from the day before, I think their math checks out.

  6. That coffee looks delicious tho.

    (My office has free coffee but it’s like a knock-off Keurig brand [Flavia? wtf is that shit] and I drink it every day because it is free but oh god it is so bad.)

    • We also have a Flavia at my job (university library, aka where the big bucks are), and I don’t understand how that machine can fuck up a cup of coffee so badly. For a little while, I was making coffee at my desk with a tea strainer, some coffee grounds, and an electric kettle, and that was about 1000x better despite the inefficiency. Then someone stole my bag of coffee and my last shred of affection for the human race died.

  7. I hope this is the beginning of a “coffee war” where every coffee vendor hires someone who used to be on Baywatch to sing in a one-minute commercial. Could be some amazing C.J. Parker – Famima!! synergy.


  9. My mom would ask for the smallest size because she is very small so can’t handle a lot of anything and doesn’t like waste, but she is not an American so I guess your statement stands.

  10. We had them in my home town growing up, we called them “cumbys”.

    • I dont know about you but for us the only appropriate time to go to cumby’s was after midnight, AKA not Iced Coffee time…

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.