At this point, there is no sympathy left for the participants in reality television. Maybe there was some sympathy for them and the ways in which they were cruelly edited into villains or manipulated for public mockery back in 1994 when we were all much less savvy about these kinds of things, but we live in a post-Joe Millionaire world now. Anyone signing on to a reality TV show at this point knows exactly what they are in for, and desperate attention seekers get what desperate attention seekers deserve. But there is a new class of reality TV star emerging. I’m talking about the unwitting participant who suddenly gets sucked into the miserable drama, and then signs a legal waiver agreeing that he or she is willing to have their image used for public broadcast. These people are collateral damage in the reality TV warpath. Left broken and abused on the floor of the viewing party they probably hosted so that their family and friends could thrill to the sight of them on the magic box.

Today’s highlight: Jon, the party bus driver from this weekend’s Bridezilla‘s premiere (don’t even worry about why I was watching this. I had to do something while I lifted weights and rolled my own cigarettes!).

Haha, Professor Marriage over here. Jon has been around the block (at the wheel of his party bus), and he has seen couples come and go, and he likes to think that he knows a thing or two about what makes for a successful marriage. You just don’t take it to some of these dark places. Jon, the party bus driver, likes to think of himself as an amateur couples’ therapist, and he does not have a good feeling about this. (To be fair, no one has a good feeling about this.)

Also, he is Eric Wareheim.


Comments (17)
  1. The dignity of marriage. She has three kids, and she looks like “this!”

  2. Eternity Limousine, hearse by day, wedding party bus by night?

  3. Great job!

  4. “Eternity Limousine is my wife’s nickname for my penis. Sadly, it’s an ironic nickname. :(

  5. “you don’t even open those doors.” no you don’t! jon!

  6. VoteQuimby  |   Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 +7

    Babycakes (Gabe),

    I promise not to act like these c-words when we plan our nuptials.

  7. Someone call Dr Phill and tell him someone is on the hunt for his job!

  8. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  9. Not to be Professor Chyrons over here, but it pretty plainly shows his name is “Jon”, not “Joe”.

  10. women be trippin’.

    or something.

  11. How can I judge anything in this scenario if I can’t see what “this” looks like or what her “three children” are like?

  12. Krista  |   Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 +9

    I’m glad she’s a mom!

    Also. Relax, Gabe. Not all of us get to be on the Today Show. SOME of us have to get on tv the honest way: willingness to blow Bret Michaels.

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