The case against Public Marriage Proposals is, for the most part, a case against making a private and intensely personal decision public — turning it into a spectacle rather than a decision based on love or the joining of two houses for political gain (Game of Thrones). (Is that what happens in Game of Thrones?) (I just started watching it and there are so many characters and they all look the same and I only listen to what they say about 1/4 of the time. It’s a show about marriage and puppies, right?) There is no such case against Maid of Honor toasts because Maid of Honor toasts are, uh-no doy, public already, and don’t include putting someone on the spot about whether or not they want to look at you for the rest of their life while you and your friends dance to Bruno Mars in the nightly Disney World parade that is being broadcast live on ABC or whatever. BUT SURELY THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF CASE TO BE MADE AGAINST THIS SPECIFIC MADE OF HONOR TOAST, IN WHICH THIS NICE LADY REPLACES ALL OF THE WORDS TO EMINEM’S “WITHOUT ME” WITH WORDS ABOUT HER SISTER AND HER HUSBAND?!

Just kidding, there is no case to be made against this because it is all perfect. Good rap. Good song choice. Poor non-use of “mom’s spaghetti” but can be forgiven. (Thanks for the tip, Chris Trash!)

Comments (19)
  1. Rice Rice Baby would have been more apt.

  2. I did the word-for-word Steve Buschimi toast from The Wedding Singer at my best friend’s wedding, including dropping the mic and stumbling off the stage. It was intentional (and many years ago).

  3. When I was my sister’s maid of honor I was told not to give a speech even though the best man was giving one. I would have been offended if I hadn’t been so relieved.

  4. I hate weddings. I just hate them. Like I’m almost upset gay marriage is legal in NYC because that means there will be more weddings to go to (that’s hyperbolic, yay gay marriage, no duh no doy).

    I’ve never been to a wedding that I haven’t thrown up at. And not because I drink too much. I used to think it was some preservative in catered food that made me sick but now I think I’m just allergic to joy.

    • Whenever I go to a wedding my main reaction is “I am never getting married but if for some odd reason I do, I am TOTES eloping” because it just seems like such a nightmare.

      But as long as my parents aren’t there (which they usually are, as I have 40 cousins most of whom are of marriageable age), I enjoy other people’s weddings just fine because booze.

    • I have two I have to go to on back-to-back weekends and pretty much all I feel about them is anxiety. This video is not helping that. I even have to be in one of them, and probably do stuff, and maybe say things, and oh god, I am going to go sit in the corner for a few.

    • Hear hear!

  5. If you had one shot, one opportunity
    To show the world how you feel about you sister
    Would you capture it?
    Or would you turn it into a self-congratulatory skit?

  6. Worst best man, best maid of honor man, or roadie, ever. He should have had that hoodie unzipped and ready to GO! Without a flawless costume transition, this toast, and wedding, are ruined, Reshoot!

  7. For my only maid of honor gig, best friend’s wedding, I read a Teddy Roosevelt quote about being bold and adventuring forward, said my I love you guyses and was done with it. Then on to cupcakes and dancing!

  8. Is there a wedding reception version of the birthday song?

  9. The ol’ baby sister attention grab

  10. these are always too embarrassing for me to get through, and i have no problem embarrassing myself, so i dont know what that’s about

  11. For my sister’s wedding I read her batshit crazy Hot or Not profile, which is where they initially met.

    I’m awesome! I like to have fun! love drive and ambition! Drama free! Love to laugh and act silly! Life is too short to be some dramatic, high strung bitch, you know? I’m extremely clumsy, and contantly [sic] trip over my own feet. When I’m really interested in a guy, I end up smacking him across the face alot. Don’t ask me why… Oh! P.S. Use of proper english and correct grammar is really important to me. I won’t take you seriously if you represent yourself as an idiot.

    Keywords: awesome, drinking, fun, gymnastics instructor, harp, tattoos, tequila

    Her picture was rated a 9.something.

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