“Hello, people!” Chandler says as he enters and slams the door to Monica’s apartment. [laugh] In the distance you hear pained moaning from Rachel. Chandler looks at Monica, confused, and Monica makes a nervous face. [laugh] Ross comes out of the bathroom, slams bathroom door, shakes his head — “Never in my 100 years as a paleontologist have I–” Joey hits him in the face with a pillow, silencing him. [laugh] “What is going on?!” Chandler shouts. [laugh] “Well…” Monica begins, hesitating, “…Rachel ate a Big Mac.” Chandler runs towards the door, hops over a chair, and falls into the hallway. [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] From The Cut:

I’ll never forget when Justin [Theroux] and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry. The only thing around was McDonald’s. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible. And I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin.

So one time Jennifer Aniston ate a Big Mac and then she got diarrhea? ?! DON’T GET MAD AT ME, SHE IS THE ONE WHO TOLD THE STORY IN AN INTERVIEW ABOUT SKINCARE! I’m just here to re-state the facts in order to help you stay clear of the same nightmare. Remember to never eat Big Macs unless you want “gasoline” in your system and acne on your face, unless your system runs on “gasoline” already, in which case go nuts? I think that’s correct. In that case, don’t even have one of your assistants pack you a beautiful road trip lunch, which they would have if you had just asked. Just get your “gasoline” and get going. To the bathroom. Because you have diarrhea? Ugh, I don’t know! Jennifer! HELP!

Comments (31)
  1. I’m not going to defend the quality of food at McDonald’s, but if you take more than 1.5 seconds to read the menu, you’ll find healthier options to choose from.

  2. I don’t believe she ate a Big Mac.

  3. I’m just glad she didn’t say her body is a temple. That is literally the fucking worst. And I could have sworn she was going to started bragging about not owning a TV, so I guess we all got off pretty easy here.

  4. True story: I have not eaten McDonald’s in 9 years. I don’t like burgers (ducks behind desk as people start throwing things), and after I saw Supersize Me freshman year of high school I decided to not eat anything from them. This sentiment wore off pretty quickly (that movie is kinda silly), but by that point I just kind of wanted to see how long I could go without eating McDonald’s. I almost had to break the streak this past February when on a business trip with my boss and he wanted to get McDonald’s and there was no way I could be like “Gotta veto this I have streak going” but thankfully the McDonald’s was closed. Maybe I should have a party for the 10 year milestone.

    • I went a couple of years without non-pizza fast food. I think Burger King is more addicting than McDonald’s.

      • I think Frostys (sp?) are the most addicting of all the fast food options. Mmmm, I want some of that sweet, sweet Frosty up in my mouth now!!!

    • Yeah I always felt that movie was kind of silly too. It seemed like the message was “See? Fast food is very bad for your body, especially if you eat it for every meal.” To which the entire country responded with a resounding “DUH!” It seemed like the real purpose was to give people who already didn’t eat fast food something to pat themselves on the back about.

      • It seemed like the real purpose was to give people who already didn’t eat fast food something to pat themselves on the back about.

        Dingdingdingdingding!

      • 100% agreed, but it forced a few companies to at least try to put their houses in order (and a few healthy options on the menu)

        PS. anyone who’s making the One Direction movie is A-OK with me… ;)

    • The McDonald’s was closed? I’m pretty sure your guardian angel is a vegan.

    • I can’t remember the last time I had any kind of fast food–I just don’t like it much. I think it’s because I live (and grew up in) in a very rural area, where for every McDonald’s we have like ten family-owned diners that are just as unhealthy, but a gazillion times as delicious.

    • I’m vegetarian so there’s really nothing for me to eat. I think I’ve had bites of fries. I do remember being really hungover and my friend had a big mac and I wanted to eat it so badly. I didn’t, because there would be puking but that food smelled so good to my hungover self.

      Honestly aside from Chipotle I don’t really eat fast food. It’s just not that appealing to me. Not knocking people that love it on occasion, but it makes me really angry that this food is sometimes people’s only option.

    • My brother and I saw supersize me and then went to mcdonalds bc we were STARVING

  5. But has Angelina ever had a big mac? Where is CNN when we need to ask the big questions?

  6. She probably could have asked a manger about the caloric content of some of the menu items, but they were on a break.

  7. Replace “purified system” with “microchip” and this is basically a Chris Traeger quote.

  8. Last night I watched the “Bizarro Cut” of Wanderlust, and in one scene Jennifer Aniston tells Paul Rudd to make a pit stop because she has swamp butt. It’s cool to know this scene was based on real events.

  9. Clicked over to read the interview – very good journalism happening there, very hard-hitting questions.

    “Do you believe women occasionally make the wrong choices with products and their skincare routines?”

  10. I love that she basically compares her body to a “purified system!” Nice, human-body-that-creates-poop-and-pus!! Sure.

    But in her defense, McDonald’s DOES make some messed up “food” products. I love some good garbage food now and then but the last time I ate a McGriddle, I was in a food coma the rest of the day. Never again.

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