Photographer: Alright, Vin, let me get a shot of you eating spaghetti while you’re on stilts.
Vin Diesel: Of course.
Photographer: Get in there, Harvey.
Harvey: OK.
Photographer: You guys ready?
Vin Diesel: Ready.
Harvey: Ready.
Photographer: OK! Hmmmmm…
Harvey: You got, the lens cap is on.
Photographer: Oh shoot. Haha. Thanks Harvey. Sorry, Vin.
Vin Diesel: No problem.
Photographer: 3…2…Cheese!
Vin Diesel: Haha. You got me.
Photographer: Your eyes are closed.
Vin Diesel: Whoops, my bad.
Photographer: OK, ready?
Vin Diesel: Ready.
Photographer: You look great, by the way.
Vin Diesel: Thanks.
Photographer: Very strong.
Vin Diesel: Thank you.
Photographer: Healthy.
Vin Diesel: Thank you.
Photographer: Handsome.
Vin Diesel: OK.
Photographer: I think we got it.
Vin Diesel: Did you get it?
Photographer: Yup, got it.
Vin Diesel: Great.
Photographer: Thanks for your patience, Vin. My mom is going to love this photo of you on stilts eating spaghetti.

(Image via LindseyWeber.)

Comments (36)
  1. Even on stilts, he would still be dwarfed by The Rock. One thing Fast Five taught me is that Vin Diesel shouldn’t fight The Rock, because he will be thrown repeatedly through concrete walls.

  2. Umm, OBVIOUSLY those aren’t stilts. They’re off-brand Kangoo Jumps. Or perhaps he’s cosplaying as if Chell from Portal had a baby with Mario. Either way, those are NOT stilts.

  3. I give this an A for effort, but the dialogue seems a little stilted.

  4. At least we know what he was doing at Marvel now.

  5. Tailgate in the parking lot of the Fresno Public Library and Convention Center, where Vin surprise-greets one of the several fans who showed up for xXxCon.

    “In the first movie, there was that unforgettable restaurant-tray chase. In xXx iIi, we’re taking my Xander Cage character to the next level, ramping up to a stilts chase! It’s going to be even less forgettable.”

    • Meanwhile, off in the distance, security restrains Ice Cube from coming on the premises. A single tear rolls down his cheek. Today is not a good day.

  6. So we finally learn what Vin’s secret meeting with Marvel was all about; he’s going to be Stilt Man! (Stilt Man is a real Marvel Comics character who I absolutely did not make up, I swear)

  7. 2 Fagioloni 2 Fuslli

  8. Forgive me if I’m the one who’s confused here, but doesn’t bending over while wearing stilts kind of defeat the purpose?

  9. Dude, I’m on the Stilts Diet. I am soooooo ripped. And tall.

  10. Where the fuck are my shoes? AND WHO ATE MY PASTA?! — Tom Cruise

  11. Is it weird to anyone else that spaghetti and stilts are both long and skinny? Why is that so weird to me??

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