This photo featuring Kate Gosselin pulling the sides of her eyes back has been making the rounds for pretty obvious reasons. Her explanation is that this photo actually comes from a happier time in her marriage to Jon Gosselin, and that it has something to do with an “Asian” wig that a fan member sent in, and that she is not a racist because she has biracial children. Sure. Seriously: sure. OK, Kate Gosselin. You are now multiple years out from the heights of your popularity, and your family lays in ruins. Good luck to you, good luck to all of us. But the hell with you if you think you are going to ruin our caption contest. You had your turn. Now it is our time. It is our time down here. It was your time up there but it’s our time down here. So, for this week’s Why Don’t YOU Caption It, please caption ANY OTHER* PHOTO EXCEPT THIS ONE. Anyone captioning this photo will be disqualified. You are welcome to pick any other photo in the whole world and cation that instead. That’s how WE will handle this.

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. So something good will come out of this whole thing, however small.

*Be smart, though. Use your noodle, though. Grow up, guys. Stay in school, please.
Comments (41)
  1. Jon And Kate Plus Hate

  2. That’s a little much, Kate.

  3. “Take my client—please!”

  4. Hey Kate,

    (m >o<)m Fuck you!

  5. I know we’re supposed to talk about her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pose, but I’m really hung up the wig. It’s giving off a hot-fudge-on-a-sundae vibe that’s throwing my game off completely.

  6. I can’t see anything offensive about that photo.

  7. Maybe she just wanted a little bit of quiet in the library?

  8. We’re available to star in Taken 3, under the condition that you don’t give us back

  9. You guys, before you rush to condemn her, you’d better take a look at her wallet:

  10. Not pictured: Ed Hardy shorts and shoes

  11. It’s really weirding me out how much she looks like an old girlfriend in that picture. Some people think that there’s a nearly identical doppelganger for everyone, that the possibilites in genetics upon conception and the circumstances surrounding an individual life are somehow outweighed by the planet’s population. I’m not really familiar with the idea (I think it’s a corollary to the multiverse) and It’s pseudoscience at best, but I wonder, if by some stab in the dark, that it’s valid – and that the logic persists to the emotional core of a person.

    For instance, this old girlfriend of mine was a huge jerk. Kate Gosselin, by many accounts, is also a huge jerk. They both share similar facial characteristics. Is being an asshole genetic? Nature vs. Nurture? Paula Deen is a direct descendant of slave owners. She is also a giant racist. Could it be that there is woman in, let’s say, rural Ireland, who bares an extremely striking resemblance to Paula Deen who is really nostalgic for the confederacy? Maybe she doesn’t own a television or have internet access and she’s only seen three black people in her life, but

  12. First off, it took reading Gabe’s write-up to realize what was happening in Kate’s picture besides pulling on her eyelids. I did not recognize that thing on her head as an ‘asian wig.’ Then, I started reading the comments, then double-checking the photo to be like, ‘that’s gotta be, like, one of those little plastic helmet hairdo wig things or something.’ Read more comments, looked back at the picture. Looked at Jon again for the fourth or fifth time and thought to myself, ‘Wait- so what’s going on with Jon? Why is he in this picture?’

    Then I realized this is a photo set of them both taking turns sporting the wig, and Jon is there because he too is wearing the wig. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS HIS ACTUAL HAIR! I saw the hair plugs episode, I know what the top of Jon’s head looks like. This was happening to me because I genuinely was having the hardest time figuring out what the hell was going on in these photos, let alone what was going on at the top of their heads, and that it was an ‘asian wig’ they were both taking turns wearing.

    • To be honest, looking at Jon the only thing my brain was registering as information was, “Jon is in the garage.”

      • I feel like I’m riding a wonky fine line here where I may be unintentionally writing weird things that may be construed as insensitive.

        SO. To be clear, the info I initially registered was Kate doing the dumb eyelid thing.
        Jon’s photo was put next to hers as a reminder she was married to an Asian man this at one point.
        This was followed by, “Jon is in the garage.”
        Followed by “Ok, what is happening here? Let me read this– oh, this is all about an Asian wig Kate is wearing. Ok.”
        Followed by, “Ok, that is a weird wig, and she’s doing the eyes thing to ‘match’ the wig (gross), which IS gross. I can’t believe she posted this picture online. Why would she do that? Keep that shit to yourself, Kate. Don’t post that stuff because you’re feeling nostalgic for the simpler times where you had your 15 minutes of fame.”
        Followed by “So why is Jon in the garage again?”
        Followed by, “Ok, Kate is wearing a plastic wig and doing racist eyelid stuff…”
        “So Jon’s picture is put next to hers because…? He’s in the garage. He’s smiling in approval? What’s on his hea- OH shit. he’s wearing the wig too. NOW I get what is happening.”

        but NOT because I thought the wig was his hair!
        It’s because I had the hardest time recognizing the wig for a wig, is ALL I’m trying to say.

        Have I written enough words on this subject yet? I’ve spent 20 minutes describing one minute of my life, which is now 21 minutes I’m definitely not getting back— of that I am almost certain— in which I fear I will be seen as, at best, insensitive, and at worst, racist. FUCKING JON AND KATE. fuck

  13. While “It’s impossible I’m a racist because [true fact you idiots didn't know about me]” is usually a pretty weak argument, I got to say that I’m swayed some by the biracial children aspect. Besides for the whole “willing to mate” with a member of the race in question, I can’t imagine someone could hold onto even the jokey-malice I associate with making ‘asian eyes’ given that its literally the faces of her children she would be openly mocking. That said, its a fair point that Kate Gosselin has definitely made some choices before that haven’t reflected all that well on the entire “very concerned for my kids emotional health and well-being” thing.

    • Okay, but this perspective ignores the “you don’t have to be mean to be racist” aspect of life. Ignorant (and even jokey) racism is still racism.

      • Again here the word “racism” is maybe not the most accurate/useful word. Hmmm. How do we react when Margaret Cho does her “Asian-eyes” impression of her grandmother? Is that racist? Is that a gesture of love and frustration meant to include us all in the absurd comedy of the human family — or is it pandaring to a mostly white audience?

        Sorry, I meant pandering.

  14. I don’t get it. The wig she’s wearing is a sort of an Anime wig, and Anime cartoons are known for their renditions of uncommonly huge, round eyes, so it’s not just that she’s racist, she’s also a big nonsensical dummyhead.

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