OH THANK GOD. As I mentioned I wouldn’t, I did not watch Skywire, Nik Wallenda’s tightrope walk over a gorge 1500 feet above ground, which aired live on the Discovery Channel last night. As if I don’t have enough stress in my life. “Just going to the grocery store today didn’t make me feel enough like I couldn’t breathe, let me watch and see if this guy dies.” No thanks! But did you watch it? He didn’t die. Did you text your friend after the broadcast, “he didn’t die,” and then this emoji? Ugh. I bet you did. You should be nicer to Nik Wallenda! Congratulations, Nik Wallenda! STOP DOING THIS!

Comments (21)
  1. I just got an iPhone4 this weekend and now I send the poop emoji with pretty much every text.

  2. I was thinking about watching it, but to be fair I think about doing a lot of things that will just bring me misery and sadness.

  3. The thing I don’t get is what is the point of doing this? Sure he got on the news and now we all know his name, but so what? Did he make money from this? Did this get him into the Tightrope Walkers Alliance? Is this going to get him laid or something? (I would like to be a fly on the wall if/when this dude attempts to get laid on the merits of this stunt) But really, what is gained?

    • He’s a Flying Wallenda! He comes from a long line of tight rope walkers (and maybe acrobats?).

    • He’s literally part of the eighth generation of a family of (lots of “ofs” at work here!) stunt/tightrope/circus performers, and I think it was just to prove that he can do everything his family did before him. Also a chance to pray with Joel Osteen. And to sit above the Grand Canyon for a couple seconds here and there. Sheesh.

  4. I have yet to see a Flying Wallenda fly. Next you’re gonna tell me Batman isn’t an actual bat.

  5. It was only 69% humidity in Boston last night?!??!? Ugg, it felt much humider.

  6. Ah, bloodsport!

  7. Did anyone else here him on wait wait don’t tell me? he actually seemed like a cool guy.

    • He seems like a happy, friendly guy, plus a good father and husband, which is pretty boss of him. I wrote about his book for my jorb and it was a pleasant experience.

  8. I don’t know which was more annoying, the crazy rope walker or the blathering newscasters.

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