Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: what’s up?
Kelly: Instagram has videos now, that’s what’s up.
Gabe: ugh
Gabe: first gandalfini and now THIS
Kelly: The one-two Gabe punch.
Gabe: they say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle
Gabe: but She’s really pushing it today
Kelly: hahah :(
Kelly: I’m sorry
Gabe: I also have to wipe my hard drive
because my computer keeps freezing
Gabe: and i pulled a muscle in my back
Gabe: in the words of Olivia Soprano, “I wish the Lord would just take me now.”
Kelly: Wow.
Kelly: I’ve seen a lot of people go through hard times in the past, but this?
Gabe: it’s not for me to say
Gabe: that my life is the hardest out of all the lives
Gabe: but someone will surely speak the truth eventually

Kelly: And I hope they’ll speak it in an Instagram video & all their followers will hear it.
Kelly: Some might not know this about you, but you have so far refused to Vine
Kelly: Even though you have about 700 followers
Kelly: And even though I’ve asked you to Vine about 100 times
Kelly: Do you think you will ever film an Instagram video, Gabe?
Gabe: that’s a REALLY good question, Kelly
Gabe: only time will tell you no
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: The worst thing about Vine
Kelly: Worse than all the other bad things about it
Kelly: Is that the videos autoplay. Second question: Can you believe they didn’t change that with Instagram video?
Kelly: The first video in your feed doesn’t autoplay, but when you scroll down all the other ones do.
Gabe: i am very against this
Gabe: i really liked Instagram, too
Kelly: It was great
Kelly: It was so quiet
Gabe: what was their meeting like?
Gabe: “Vine is terrible. How do we do that?”
Kelly: hahaha
Gabe: “Let’s just do it exactly. Just as terrible.”
Gabe: “Great meeting.”
Kelly: “There are 700 Vine users out there and they all hate it. How can we get them to abandon it altogether?”
Gabe: yeah, no one even likes vine!
Gabe: i’m sure steve agee and will sasso are over the moon about this news
Kelly: Hahahahhhhhhhh
Kelly: And the guy who proposed to his wife on there
Kelly: those 3.

Kelly: I’m sure Vine is having a VERY bad day.
Kelly: Poor stupid old Vine
Gabe: poor vine, fuck vine
Gabe: right? latin or something?
Kelly: Hahaha right
Kelly: I’m pretty sure that’s latin
Gabe: i guess you can put filters on instragram videos?
Gabe: is that cool?
Gabe: jk
Gabe: man, like, i really like the idea of instagram and i do like using it
Gabe: but everyone’s photos are already pretty boring
Kelly: Yeah
Gabe: so i can only imagine how boring everyone’s videos are going to be
Kelly: I already see enough dogs
Kelly: And that’s coming from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gabe: hahahahaha
Kelly: One thing that’s better about Instagram video than Vine is that they don’t replay automatically
Kelly: But I guess to be better than Vine
Kelly: Would be so simple
Kelly: That it is hardly worth comparing them
Gabe: that’s not even “better” that’s simply “human”
Gabe: the vine loops
Gabe: make me feel insane
Gabe: and i don’t know whose idea that was, but it was a mean idea
Kelly: Hahah yes
Gabe: it’s weird though
Gabe: how you are pretending like you hate vine
Gabe: when you are always trying to get me to vine
Gabe: your story doesn’t quite add up
Kelly: Vine is awful, I hate it
Kelly: That’s why I want you to be on it
Kelly: I still use it and I still look at it everyday and I would like if you shared in that misery
Kelly: It’s so loud
Kelly: You open it and people just scream at you
Kelly: Not even people you’re friends with, just acquaintances.
Gabe: hahahahaha
Gabe: sounds great
Kelly: It’s a nightmare. And now you’ll NEVER be on it.
Kelly: You did it
Gabe: i made it through the crucible of Vine
Gabe: out of the Vining pan into the Instagrampan
Gabe: is this what Jean Paul Sartre’s No Exit was about?
Kelly: I think this is what Mad Men is about
Gabe: “Hell is other people’s vines.”
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: Do you think Instagram is going to be a heavy on the attempted comedy videos as Vine is
Kelly: I don’t, really
Gabe: whatever it’s going to be, it’s going to be terrible
Kelly: That’s the truth
Gabe: And so it is.
Kelly: And so it is.

Comments (56)
  1. Instagram video stole my idea!

  2. I don’t know, I think “Get Free” is alright.

  3. Gandalfini

    • One does not simply walk into the Bing.

    • Real conversation I had with my girlfriend:
      Me: Hey did you hear that James Gandolfini died?
      GF: Who?
      Me: James Gandolfini.
      GF: *Gasp* Mr. Feeney died?!
      Me: What? No. JAMES GANDOLFINI.
      GF: Oh. Who is that?
      Me: Didn’t you study film at one point? Wasn’t that what you wanted to to do with your life once?
      GF: Yeah. So?
      Me: And you don’t know who… it’s the guy from the Sopranos.
      GF: Oh. Okay.

      And Gabe thinks he has the hardest life.

      • In retrospect, I feel like I just totally jacked That One’s thread but I think the Gandalf joke reminded me of her Mr. Feeney comment. Sorry everyone.

  4. I feel like Instagram left out some important details in that video. For instance, when I update, how do I get the implied 45 lb. steadicam unit that attaches to my smartphone?

  5. All your complaints about Vine are 100% valid BUT I would’ve loved to have been able to Videogram my pets holding paws instead of just taking this boring, drab picture.

  6. Unrelated, but I finally finished Bioshock Infinite today. Has anybody else played it? Because I am upset about that ending! HOGWASH!

    • Mr. Dork played it (2x!) and enjoyed it. So I really have no idea. I was probably on Pinterest when it all went down.

    • Really?! As intrusive as the twist(s) might seem, the ending was super satisfying for me. Some of the themes got thrown out the window towards the end, but I didn’t quite care. It fit for the characters. It felt right and I think it completed the story cleanly and efficiently. I’m trying really hard to avoid spoilers, but I just enjoyed experiencing it.

      • As long as we’re on a games note – Do you have a PS3? If you do, please play The Last Of Us. If you can’t afford it, sell your loved ones on the black market until you can. I’m only a few hours in, but I’ve already realized that this thing is the game I’ve wanted to play since my parents bought me an Atari 2600 for my seventh birthday. I can’t tell you how fully realized it is. I want to go on and on.

        My wife is coming home today after a three day trip. I’m gonna make her dinner, clean the tub in case she wants a bath, and give her a massage if she feels sore. But during that time, I’m sure I’ll be counting down until she goes to sleep and I can continue this story. I love my wife more than anything, but this is maybe the best game I’ve ever played. I want to kiss anyone from Naughty Dog on the cheek and give them everything I have in my wallet. Wow.

        That said, if the ending is disappointing, I might snap.


        So the Lutece twins were taking multiple Bookers to multiple Columbias and trying to use him to save Elizabeth, right? It HAD to have been multiple Columbias, because he was able to go to one where he had already been and had joined with the Vox Populi there. So even if you accept that EVERYTHING keeping Elizabeth hostage was a constant (Songbird, the siphon, Booker selling her in the first place, countless others), there’s the problem of Elizabeth dorwning Booker at the baptism to end the cycle. Because then you have to accept that THAT is a constant too, otherwise there would be a universe where Elizabeth DIDN’T do that, and the cycle continues. But it ISN’T a constant, because it hadn’t happened to any Booker up to that point. There’s also the issue of Booker jumping to the universe where he was baptised and he was drowned himself, instead of a past Booker being drowned. That means that he was not able to exist in the same world simultaneously with a different version of himself. Except that he did exactly that for most of the game.

        I mean, overall, I loved the game. But for an ending that is designed to provoke a lot of head scratching, there are an awful lot of gaping holes there.

        • Not to say those aren’t legitimate qualms about the plot holes (that I can’t really think of a way to explain away), but I just have to go with, “those plot holes doesn’t matter.” I’ve yet to read/watch a narrative about time travel and multiple universes that didn’t seem to have gaping plot holes. In the end, it just matters that the story used its events to create an effective message and story. I think Bioshock Infinite was just fine on that front. Ultimately, it wanted to talk about how difficult it is to atone for your past, sacrifices you make as a parent for your child, and even through in the nature of choice in video games and the very nature of how stories are told in that medium. There are probably even more themes that you can pull out of that ending!

          I guess it just doesn’t matter to me to figure out plot holes and why it “couldn’t happen” at that point. The story and the messages were interesting enough for me to not care. I just want to stress how awesome that is as I have not really enjoyed a video game that wasn’t about brain teasers, rolling up objects, or Harry Potter legos in a good ten years.

          • You’re definitely right, and I SHOULD be able to enjoy it. Any time/dimension travel is going to come with a set of headaches, and I didn’t even mention paradox, because that’s just a given in ANY such situation. I think it’s because I spent hours and hours paying attention to the insane amount of detail that they put into everything, and then to be hit with such inconsistencies, it really ruined the moment for me.

          • * “and even the nature of choice in video games and the nature of how stories are told in the medium”

            Sorry for the sentence train wreck! You know what I meant (maybe).

          • It is too bad that you were pulled out! I was SO invested by the end of this game! I guess I figured out most of the main elements to the “twist” pretty quickly into the game, so I got to sit back and have the narrative dole out clues that supported my theories for most of my play-through. By the time I got there, I was so pleased by the ending.

          • Overall, I still enjoyed it very much! I still need to play through it again to verify evidence of my new theory that (SPOILER ALERT AGAIN YOU GUYS) Elizabeth knew exactly what was going on the entire time, and was just putting the pieces into place to destroy the siphon so she could enact her plan. I picked up on hints of that when Booker rescued her from the asylum and said he wasn’t going to leave her there, and her response was something like “No, you never would, would you?” As if she KNEW that was one of the constants, and was in on the shenanigans all along. That would also explain why Old Elizabeth was so ready and willing to send Booker back with the clue he needed to control Songbird; she knew she had to get old and attack the world to fulfill her part of the plan.

          • That is a good theory! I have to play it a second time myself since there are a few things I’m sure I missed (like, 20 of the voxophones) with some added clues. I think I might wait a bit, since I’m waiting to hear what the downloadable content will be. I have no clue what they’re going to add to this story.

    • I recently got into video games again. I took a long break from them when I killed that bastard Bowser back in Super Mario World. Well, except for Madden & Karaoke games. Gotta play something while you’re drinking. I’m not really into shooters and action games but I do like these:

      Tokyo Jungle (this game is as close to art as videogames get IMO)
      Vegas 2 (this one IS a shooter but it’s more about stratyegy than anything else, I tell myself)
      Katamri Damacy ( just fun)
      The Walking Dead (way better than the show)

      Do you guys have any suggestions? Always looking for suggestions. PS. My PSNID is babysdayout if you want to know when I’m watching Netflixes.

      • If you want a game that’s close to art, Bioshock Infinite is actually pretty high up there. It says a lot about it that it’s a first-person shooter, and I spent more time in the game walking around looking at everything than I did actually shooting. But, just don’t read my post right about yours, okay?

      • Also, Mother 3. Seriously cannot recommend that game enough. It was never released in the States, but if you have a GBA emulator you can find the fan translation pretty easily. It’s basically the only game I ever played that actually resonated with me on an emotional level.

      • This is tough, as 1) all I’ve been playing are action games and 2) that’s all that’s really come out this year. The only recommendation I can think of would be Battleblock Theater, a platformer by The Behemoth, the same guys who did Castle Crashers and Alien Hominid. I also want to play The Last of Us, but alas, I am a 360 guy (though after the whole E3 debacle, that might change next generation).

        As for Bioshock Infinite, capsulekei pretty much summed up my feelings on the game. However, I’m not going to go back and replay it because I am TERRIBLE at FPSs, and I barely got through normal mode after dying like a billion times. I can only imagine how bad 1999 mode is.

    • I played it! I actually really liked it, and I have not enjoyed a video game in a long time. What didn’t you like about it? The Inception style non-committal ending?

  7. Can we all just agree that the worst part of both Vine and video on Instragram is that it supports Vertical Video Syndrome? Those jerks, now every video will be awkwardly upright.

  8. I never really cared about either, so I’m vine with this.

  9. My phone can barely take a photo let alone a video, so I’ll weigh in on issue this when I begrudgingly upgrade to a smartphone in 2017.

    • I’m actually thinking of downgrading back to a standard phone when my phone eats it. I loves my Galaxy 2 but it eats up battery like a battery-eating fiend. AT&T’s call service in Chicago kind of sucks and T-mobile sells the iPhone BUT they make you pay it off with the length of your contract. So not only is it tied to T-mobile but you’re in a contract AND you pay full price. Instead I got a new iPod with the camera and it’s pretty much the same for a fraction of the cost. Who cares that you have to wait until you get home to upload your Vines™? Plus, the smartphones make it Harder to actually make calls.

      • How about you buy an iNothing, because Apple likes to give you iLess and charge you iMore. And yes, smartphones are basically great for everything except using them as actual phones, but A) nobody actually CALLS people anymore except the elderly, and B) there is no way to make a cell phone that isn’t tied to one of the major carriers for usage, so the only way they could give these devices calling capability is by selling them as phones, even if they suck at that. Think of them as PDAs that can make calls, not the other way around.

        • I need my phone for work and for luddite friends. As for the iStuff, I think that really only applies to the computers. They’re well made, but again, I need a computer for work, so mAcs are not an option anyways. But their phones are actually pretty on par with Android and the others. I use my iPod/phone to run and sometimes they just crap out but as long as they’re not water damaged, the iBar gEnuises just give you a replacement so it’s actually even cheaper than getting a regular MP3 Player.

        • These are terrible times, when you have to apologize for calling someone without texting first.

    • I refuse to get a smartphone, too! I’m proud of my flip phone and I think everyone looks ridiculous hunched over their stupid phones instead of enjoying the world around them.

      • That doesn’t even look so ridiculous when compared to someone using their tablet as a camera.

        • Oh geez, that’s bad, too. Some guy in the crowd filmed the Obama inauguration on an iPad and I doubt he ever even watched his stupid recording. Just enjoy things with your eyes while they’re happening right in front of you!

    • I have to have a smart phone for work, but I recently removed all social media apps from it and it has been great. I still use my old nokia non-flip phone as my alarm because it is the most reliable piece of electronics I have ever owned.

  10. RIP Will Sasso

  11. So I have been trying to change my avatar, and every image I try says it is invalid. It is the correct file type and the size is under the limit. Any advice?

    Also, it appears Kim and Kanye chose a stupid name for their baby. Shocking.

  12. *Livia Soprano

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