After years of nervous anticipation, the American people breathe a sigh of relief to learn, as the Hollywood Reporter is Hollywood reporting, that FOX is moving forward with a “crossplatform” adaptation of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. The article actually has an interesting break-down of the series’ herstory, which was created by a guy named Edward Packard, who had the idea for the books but couldn’t get them made until he eventually teamed up with a young guy named R.A. Montgomery. But now, R.A. Montgomery owns the rights to the Choose Your Own Adventure name, and Edward Packard just owns his stories, and is out in some converted garage somewhere, working on “divergent story apps” whatever the hell THAT even means. I know that business is business, but somehow it is so much weirder when business is business about kids’ stuff. Anyway, those books are dope! I love those books. But I am not so sure about this “crossplatform” adaptation. One of the pleasures of the books was that you could instantaneously make your choice, go to the proper page, and keep reading. And sometimes, if you were unhappy with your selection and a child with ZERO HONOR, you could just go back to the previous selection and re-route your course. But if the movie is like, “If you want to drink the elixir, go to YouTube. If you don’t want to drink the elixir and you tell the witch you are hungry instead, go to Vimeo,” then I am going to be hospitalized with serious agita.

If you think a Choose Your Own Adventure “crossplatform” movie is a good idea, go to the comments. If you think a Choose Your Own Adventure “crossplatform” movie is a bad idea, go to the comments. #LOL #URDEADSTARTOVER

Comments (34)
  1. This sounds really cool except isn’t there a video game where you make choices about your character and the game changes based on those choices? It seems like video games can be a much better version of “Choose Your Own Adventure”

    Also, “You Are a Shark” is DEFINITELY the best title! But it’s probably pretty short, right? “You are a shark. If you choose to eat people, turn to page 2. If you choose to just hang out and not eat people, turn to page 3.” “Page 2: You eat people! They’re delicious! If you choose to terrorize a small beach town, turn to page 4. If you choose to go back to eating fish, turn to page 5.” “Page 4: Richard Dreyfuss killed you! The End.”

  2. “to produce what the studio hopes will be a crossplatform four-quadrant action-adventure franchise.”

    Can someone tell me what the hell these people are talking about?

  3. Can I choose to turn to the page where I marry Benedict Cumberbatch? Because that’s a plot I can get behind.

  4. I thought the beginning of Trainspotting already did this, and it was weird.

  5. I just looked at the Wikipedia list of Choose Your Own Adventures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Choose_Your_Own_Adventure_books) and see that all the good ones are by Edward Packard: Deadwood City, Your Code Name is Jonah, Who Killed Harlowe Thrombey, and especially, especially Inside UFO 54-40 (the best). So if Packard’s not involved I don’t know if I want anything to do with it (of course I do).

  6. Going by that cover, a shark’s choices seem to be being attacked by an eagle, visiting a small village, and getting a little toasted with David Carradine.

    Seems legit.

  7. Choose Your Own Adventure: The Movie = Video games.

    Like. That’s it.

  8. What does FLW think, you say to yourself. You scroll the comments, looking for the screaming Donald Sutherland face. You find it next to the Big Mac ad banner on the left.

    “Guys, The Choose You Own Adventure Movie…”

    If you think FLW is going to hate the idea, click here:
    http://www.videogum.com/708262/america-still-waits-for-a-true-apology-from-matthew-weiner/tv/comment-page-1/#comment-9923892

    If you think FLW is going to like the idea, click idea:
    http://www.videogum.com/215712/christina-hendricks-for-london-fog/free-advertising/comment-page-1/#comment-9923851

  9. Will I have the option to just watch this movie starting from the ending(s) like I used to always do with the books?

  10. Alt headline: Finally, The World May Learn Who Killed Harlowe Thrombey

  11. This is great and all, but when are we going to get the Mad Libs movie we so desperately want and need?

  12. Isn’t part of the fun with entertainment that the adventure is chosen for you?

  13. I will only endorse this movie if it stars the ghost of MCA as Sir Stewart Wallace as Himself. (RIP)

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