As a strong woman, there are a lot of burdens I can carry alone. Do I feel the need to list specific examples of those burdens here in order to prove it to you? Of course not. Is one of those burdens the picture of a Teen Mom holding her soon-to-be-implanted breast implants that I just saw? Yes. But this piece of gossip I accidentally read about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux is one that I’d rather share the weight of with you. From Star Magazine, via Celebitchy:

Jen, 44, has… started to embrace her curves at home since longtime nudist Justin, 41, persuaded her to join in on the fun. One of Jen’s close confidants says that although the actress was hesitant at first, she now finds it extremely liberating. “Both of them have incredible bodies, so it relaxes them more,” spills a pal.

“They spend entire days at home without any clothes on – and even cook naked.” Maybe Justin will wear his birthday suit at the wedding?

“Well, we have incredible bodies, so it relaxes us more.” Hahahah. That’s Jennifer Aniston talking to her pal. “I’m embracing my curves, plus my body is incredible. So is Justin’s. It’s very relaxing.” COOKING NAKED, THOUGH?! Guys! Guys. Guys. Take a chill pill! Take a chill pill FROM your chill pill. You don’t want to get spagetti sauce on your birthday suit. Then what are you going to wear to your wedding?!

Comments (21)
  1. I’d TOTALLY cook naked as long as no one was able to see. Except bacon, I’d wear plenty o’ clothes while cooking bacon.

    • That’s what I thought, too. But then I thought that probably Jenn & Justin don’t eat bacon. Ugg, celebs are NOT just like us when it comes to bacon.

  2. I always picture the “close confidants” of celebs quoted in these kinds of stories as Miss Patty and Babette from Gilmore Girls.

  3. Yeah, that’ll all change when one or both of them decide to cook bacon.

  4. I tell you what, I bet when they cook bacon they at LEAST put an apron or something on!

  5. Those bacon grease burns are TOTES going to change their minds, am I right guys?

  6. “You don’t want to get spagetti sauce on your birthday suit.” Yes, that is definitely the event that will get you to stop cooking naked.

  7. Way to bury the lede, Celebitchy. You actually located two nudists one would actually not mind seeing nude. Basically, you just found Sasquatch.

  8. “Have you seen this, have you heard about this? Jenn and Justin are nudists in their home. They do everything naked! Clean, read, watch TV, even cook! Guess they never heard of bacon.” -Leno

  9. This thread makes me want a BLT.

  10. It’s a good thing these two’s personal trainers and nutritionists would never let them have bacon! Talk about sizzle dick!

  11. As long as they don’t shower naked, that would be weird.

  12. How have we not brought up the greatest historical record on nudism (is that a word?), the tome by which we can judge and weigh all decisions and actions of nudists, the Seinfeld episode “Apology”- where Jerry starts dating a nudist.

    Based on the wisdom of this episode, we can only assume Aniston and Theroux spend a lot of time brushing their hair and reading books in elongated postures, but have hired a staff to do things like open jars or cook bacon, or anything that involves squatting. For the sake of their marriage, natch.

  13. Note to anyone invited to Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s house: don’t sit down.

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