Myspace Executive: So, we are all here today to take a look at the new ad for MySpace, which we somehow agreed was a good idea even in today’s Internet culture, an ad, like what? But this is great. Very buzz. Hot links. So, What do you have for us, Don?
Don Draper: In ancient Greece, the word “MySpace” meant “pain from an old wound.”
Myspace Executive: We all know that, Don.
Don Draper: You’ve lost market share to Facebook. Your site has been overrun by lonely teenagers mass-marketing their band’s upcoming open mic gig at the local coffee shop. You’re a punchline.
Myspace Executive: Again: we all know that, Don.
Don Draper: If you don’t like what is being said, then change the conversation.
Myspace Executive: Did you just make that up? That’s great. Did he just make that up?
Peggy: I bought a cat.
Don Draper: Picture yourself on a beach. The waves are lapping at your toes. You’re thousands of miles from your smallest worry. On the horizon, a beautiful woman is walking towards you, carrying her shoes in her hand, she’s smiling. She reminds you of everything.
Myspace Executive: Whoa. Is that your angle on MySpace? It’s a little obtuse, but I like the imagery and I think people these days prefer ads that are a little less obvious.
Don Draper: What? No! I’m tripping balls! That’s my whole thing now, it’s everyone’s thing now. No, for MySpace I think we just make an ad that straight up looks like it was made for JC Penny in 1999: throw a bunch of kids in a white room with some thrift store clothing and a couple of skateboards. Boom. Internet.

MySpace Intern: Can I just say as the only person under 45 in this room that I don’t think kids these days are going to respond to a traditional form of marketing when it comes to a social networking platform, which in and of itself is only going to work in an organic, user-generated–
Don Draper: Shut up.
MySpace Executive: This is great, Don. We love it. We are going to put it up on YouTube right away. That ought to get the word out about MySpace. If I was Facebook I would be pretty worried right about now!
Don Draper: Gentlemen. [Handshakes. Tumblers of straight vodka are offered to everyone and refused by everyone. He drinks all of them.]
Pete Campbell: I suck!

Comments (39)
  1. Gotta give them credit for marketing to a demographic that isn’t old enough to remember MySpace. But they would have been better off just saying “It’s like Facebook, but your Grandma can’t send you fake eggs from her fake farm.”

  2. Did that say, “Welcome to the Neighborhood”? I don’t have my “young people” reading glasses on. I must have left them in my one-bedroom apartment that I lived in when I was 23.

  3. I don’t even want to know how that room smells.

  4. So Myspace is yesterday’s party that is going to take days to clean up and even then you are never going to get rid of the booze stains and that silly string that is stuck just out of reach on the ceiling corner? Luckily the party house was abandoned years ago when your parents left it in a similar state and that’s why you don’t get many visitors except very animated cats who scratch and spray everywhere and a strange man who you think might be what people once called a Tom.

  5. I honestly miss Myspace. When I was actively booking shows for my band, in the mid-2000′s, it was great for networking and publicity.

    So yes, what I’m saying is, I fully blame the fall of myspace for my lack of success as a musican.

    • Once I found a band on MySpace and made a comment and the singer wrote back; soon enough it turned out that long ago she’d been in a different band that I’d been intrigued by when I was 12 because they were super-weird. She said she was only 16 when she was in that band (she’d seemed so adult to me!) and mainly regarded it as a chance to wear different wigs. She couldn’t believe I remembered their song at all, when actually I could quote whole lines of it, and a friend and I had made one of them a catchphrase during the high school era. She told me she’d just made the video with some friends on a weekend and was shocked it got on TV (I saw it on UHF TV; I am one thousand years old). So I forever value MySpace for that one low-probability connection (a connection to the 1980s, so maybe MySpace is only good for ancient history).

  6. I thought this was a commercial for the limited edition bluray of Spring Breakers.

  7. What I’m mostly getting from this commercial is that everybody on Myspace is on ecstasy.

  8. MySpace still thinks the Harlem Shake is a thing.

  9. “Bring me the a representative of all the cliche millenial stereotypes, but make sure it’s the most annoyingly self-aware and self-appointed representative of said group!”
    -casting director for this ad

  10. If Riff Raff is in, I’m in.

  11. MySpace Executive: Don, how can I convince you to market my son’s band?

  12. “I don’t know how to tell them I lost the Zune account.”

  13. I do like that on myspace you could post blingees and gifs

  14. Word on the street is that they seriously spent 20 MILLION DOLLARS $$$$$$$ on this commercial.

    Riff Raff and a Kurt Cobain impersonator do not come cheap, apparently.

  15. I like that one of the tags on this post is Orkut.

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