The moment is something of which each of us is guilty. We sit down in front of our televisions, turn on primetime ABC, and settle in for Modern Family knowing, or thinking that we know, that Donald Trump is out there, somewhere, doing the same. “It’s a big world out there, but as long as I know that I’m looking at the same Modern Family that Donald Trump is looking at, everything feels a bit closer and more manageable,” we think. We laugh along keeping in mind that Donald Trump is out there sharing in our laughter, our breathing patterns united in this one moment. We think, “Is Donald taking the same bathroom break?” when we take a bathroom break during a commercial. We know that we’ll never get the answer, but the possibility is enough to keep us going. Well, that possibility was shattered last night on Twitter. It’s hard, but it’s a wakeup call we all needed. We are not watching Modern Family with Donald Trump. We are watching Modern Family alone, just as we were born, just as we live our lives, and just as we will die. Sorry Danny, indeed.

Also he got into some Twitter fight with Danny Zuker about something, I’m not sure what, let’s not look into it!

Comments (41)
  1. I want to be rich just so that I can offer to donate $5 million (or whatever rich people donate) to charity if Donald Trump agrees to be pied in the face. DO YOU HATE CHARITY TRUMPY? DO YOU?

  2. So weird that he (completely based on objective analysis) didn’t like that show after having a fight with the guy in charge of it!

  3. Usually I prefer not to wonder if Donald Trump is pooping at the same time as me, but maybe I’m just the weird one here.

  4. For a second I thought you said Trump got into a Twitter fight with Danny Zuko and I was like “TELL ME MORE!”

    • In Donald Trump’s defense (and oh god does it hurt me to even write that), it looks like the other guy fired the opening shots for no discernible reason. And he doesn’t even make a particular compelling case. If we’re going to take sides in what basically amounts to a playground fight between some of the most influential people in the country, I’m going to have to give my vote to the Trumpmeister on grounds of coherence and grammatical superiority.

      • And this wasn’t supposed to be a reply, goddamnit.

      • Yeah I saw the first fight as it happened. It was about Nielsen ratings for the Apprentice during both hours it was on one night (I studied Nielsen stuff last fall so I was kinda sorta interested), and then all of a sudden Twitter devolved into a schoolyard playground.

        • For both season finales (admittedly not the best indicator of overall performance, but for argument’s sake):
          The Apprentice did about 1.9 million adults 18-49
          Modern Family did about 4.6 million adults 18-49
          (both live+same day)
          So I believe Mr. Trump rests his case!

          • It was an argument over a 2-hour episode of the Apprentice, where Zuker the ratings of the first hour to the ratings of a repeat of Family Guy (at the same time period). Family Guy for that hour had higher ratings. The second hour of the Apprentice had higher ratings than the first.

          • *Zuker compared

          • My apologies, truck. I didn’t know there was a newer Twitter feud. I was referencing the original.

          • Oh I just looked it up because I was curious so since I had the numbers I figured I’d share.

            I mean, I hate Donald Trump too, but for the other guy to be like “Hey, your show lost to a repeat” when his show is clearly beating the crap out of most everything is kinda crappy but then Donald Trump is always awful all the time, so I guess it’s fair?

      • Wait, for the sake of this argument we have to consider Trump and a guy who writes a television show “some of the most influential people in the country”? I don’t like this premise Facetaco, please stamp my passport and allow me safe passage into taco town.

  5. Do you think that Donald Trump, billionaire owner of an international organization, takes time to sit down and write out his thoughts about a popular TV show in 140 characters or less? Or do you think he has writers who do that? I’m just trying to figure out what’s worse: thinking like he does, or paying other people to think like that.

    • He actually shouted “I HATE THIS PROGRAMME” down to his writers during the very first episode and they had some meetings and lunches and brunches and more meetings and chatted with some accountants and then had lunch again and then met with some marketing consultants and pr consultants and image consultants and tried to find out if Don Draper is real and then asked some people on the street their opinion on the show and then asked some people on the street their opinion on Trump and then had another meeting and then repeated this until today when they finally published their concise and obviously well thought out comment on the show.

      It’s well known that by the time kids get off his lawn they are claiming pensions…

  6. I know Donald Trump is horrible. I mean, I know it in my head. What I know in my heart is that we’re lucky to have him (on Twitter).

    • Yeah I feel sorry for the people who have to deal with him in real life.

      • That depends. His boorishness is so entertaining, but I guess it would get old after a while.

        • Yeah, I’d hate to be his cleaning woman or the person he tests his “You’re fired” catchphrase on.

          Trump: You’re fired! YOU’RE fired! You’re FIRED! How about I try it with a Mississippi accent this time?
          Handler: Nah, I think you’re good.
          Trump: Jamaican?
          Handler: It’s not like you’re reinventing the wheel.
          Trump: You’re fired.
          Handler: Hahaha. Okay. See you tomorrow.

    • On twitter, yes, slapped in solid gold on the front of every damn building along the FDR, not so much…

  7. Is Trump wrong, though? I mean, yes, in the details he most certainly is, but in the broad scheme of things Modern Family is poop.

    • Yeah I stopped watching it this season when they started referring to whatshisname as “flaming.” The gay jokes aren’t funny.

    • I third this emotion. it really did peter out asfter about half way through season 2. I won’t say Trump is right, but I’ll agree with YOU though. Loophole!

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