Olivia Munn is on the cover of this month’s Flare magazine, whatever THAT is, and she talks about the stuff people like Olivia Munn talk about in interviews: Her career! Her boyfriend! How she was a tomboy who never felt pretty so it’s just crazy how people think they’re pretty now because they don’t even see it! (She may or may not talk about that last one, but it’s a popular one to talk about in any case.) You know, interview stuff. Anyway, at one point she addresses her “haters,” who cannot wrap their minds around the fact that she is both sexy and intelligent:

There’s apparently no way that I can embrace my sexuality, be on the cover of a men’s magazine, and also be thoughtful and smart, and know what the Pythagorean theorem is.

Oh fuck me. God damn it. Because Olivia Munn’s point is TOTALLY VALID AND LEGITIMATE. If we really are going to embrace post-new-wave-feminism or wherever we even are on the spectrum at this point, then women absolutely get to use/flaunt/exploit/hide/ignore their sexuality however they want, and that has nothing to say about whether they are or are not also intelligent. (Obviously. We all agree on this.) And Olivia Munn is hot stuff, and she may very well be super thoughtful and keenly intelligent, I have no idea, I have never met her. (I don’t think one’s ability to deliver “smart” dialogue that was written by someone else is inherently proof of anything. See: Chain Reaction.) But, like, the Pythagorean theorem, Olivia Munn? That’s your example of something a smart person would understand? Whoooooooooopsy daisy! I don’t know if you guys have ever seen the hit 1998 James Marsden vehicle, Disturbing Behavior, but it’s a horror movie (sheesh with all the horror movie references today, must be that time of the year again, THE PURGE TIME) where the football team are monsters or whatever. Anyway one of the characters in that movie is the school’s “mentally handicapped” janitor that everyone makes fun of and/or ignores, but at one point one of the teenagers encounters the janitor in the boiler room and discovers that he’s not mentally handicapped at all, and that in fact he’s super smart. How does he know that? Because the man is carrying around a copy of Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle in his pocket. LOL. Look, I’m sure the janitor was cool and everything, and way more together than we all thought, but, like, Kurt Vonnegut’s books, while being so so great, are also written as if they were for children? That’s kind of his whole thing? You might be able to get a lot more out of them by being smart, but you can definitely read them even if you aren’t. I don’t know, it’s just something I think about a lot, that scene in Disturbing Behavior (1998). Olivia Munn, though: WOULD YOU HIT IT?

Comments (25)
  1. I’m going to reserve my judgment of how smart or not smart Olivia Munn is until I hear her sing the quadratic formula to the tune of “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

  2. A squared plus be squared equals … oh, fuck, I am worthy of hatred!

  3. I would like to discuss this, but there are more pressing matters at hand. As you might know, I’ve been catching up on Breaking Bad (FINALLY!) and I just saw the infamous “I am the one who knocks” scene that I’ve heard so much about. Swear to god, less than 30 seconds after that scene ended, someone knocked on my door. Dude was trying to sell me Comcast. This pretty much confirms all of my suspicions about Comcast.

  4. To be fair, she said she could embrace her sexuality (I imagine she said that the same way Jenna Maroney does) “and also be thoughtful and smart, and know what the Pythagorean theorem is,” so apparently “knowing what the Pythagorean theorem is” is a mutually exclusive thing to being thoughtful and smart.

  5. Hey I remember the most simple and commonly used equations in 9th grade math. Someone give me a damn doctorate already, okay?

    • You don’t even have to know how to use them or what their significance is! You just have to know that there is definitely a thing called The Pythagorean Theorem and it has something to do with math and smart stuff. It would have been awesome if the interviewer asked her to describe it on the spot after she said that.

  6. Remember when Jessica Alba called Sweden neutral, and then everybody laughed at her and was all “Haha you mean Switzerland you big dumb-dumb!” And then Jessica Alba pulled out the awesome by pointing out that Sweden is ALSO a neutral country? That made this point much better than Olivia Munn did.

  7. And in this picture, she’s standing in front of a rock that appears to possibly be in the shape of a triangle, though that could definitely just be the way it’s cropped. Checkmate, sexism.

  8. But is she really into patterns?

  9. “You might be able to get a lot more out of them by being smart, but you can definitely read them even if you aren’t.”

    There needs to be a library with a room full of pillows that have this sentence embroidered on them.

  10. Isn’t she on Newsroom where she plays a woman that understands numbers and formulas?

  11. There’s apparently no way that I can embrace my intelligence, be on the cover of the Journal of Differential Geometry, and also be feminine and sexual, and know what a dress is.

    - bizarro-universe Olivia Munn

  12. I just read that whole interview and I really wish that I had not. My patience for pandering sycophantic journalism is really low as-is, but UGH. To any editors out there, can we PLEASE stop mentioning how low maintenance a hot girl with a tight body (or action star men for that) is because she (he) wants to eat burgers and fries during a staged interview? The jig is up.

    This being said, I really like the Newsroom and I really like her on the Newsroom as the flat, unfunny economics reporter… who happens to be super hot. She’s playing to her strengths and it totally works. I thought I turned a corner on this actress but crap articles like this — the cover story on Canada’s #1 fashion magazine — remind me of why she was so grating for so long. Stop selling yourself to idiot teen boys. You got away from G4. Own it.

  13. That’s a really dumb quote, but she’s the best part about the awful awful The Newsroom so I probably won’t read this entire interview so I continue liking her.

  14. She is clearly beautiful and I’m willing to take her word for it that she’s smart, but she’s also really fucking obnoxious.

  15. She’s aCUTE.

    like the angle

  16. “Hey, I know I’m like probably almost twice your age, but once in middle school I did a report on Catcher in the Rye, so like, I totally know what’s up.” – Me, getting some serious action at the bar tonight

  17. Listen, at least she didn’t use E=MC2.

  18. Given the obscenely filthy things she said when her phone was hacked (or whatever happened, I just know personal messages to her boyfriend were leaked), despite her seeming pretty annoying I would probably have to “hit it.” I do wish we could stop calling it that though.

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