We did it! Another Friday on the books! Congratulations to everyone who worked so hard to make this Friday happen. There was a point on Wednesday where I wasn’t sure we were going to make it, but it was your guys’s unflagging determination that carried the day. And also the next day, Thursday. Obviously I want to thank God up in heaven without Her none of this would be possible. Also my family. And my fans. But most of all I want to thank all of the LITTLE PEOPLE who really made this happen. You guys don’t get thanked enough. You are the true heroes. One love? I don’t know. I’m losing the thread of this fake acceptance speech. Like, I don’t even know what I’m accepting anymore. Friday? I’m accepting an award on behalf of Friday who unfortunately couldn’t be with us tonight because she’s on location in Morocco? Is it hot in here? Is anyone else hot? Do you smell almonds? [Orchestra begins playing.] Goodnight! Oh wait, I forgot to than–[Mic is cut off.]

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Lunch With Katherine Heigl Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 topknot | Jun 4th Score:20
I got married on Saturday and no celebs crashed. It was amazing, though.
Posted in: Which Celeb Would You Actually WANT To Crash Your Wedding?
#4 The Aura of the H-Man | Jun 4th Score:25
I usually meet women in the grocery store (sometimes men too!) by putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, at which point they pick them up and tell me how much I have to pay them. They’re short relationships, but I think they’re pretty fulfilling for all involved.
Posted in: How To Meet Women In The Grocery Store
#3 Clambone | Jun 5th Score:26
I just joined a gym, and had a personal training session before work this morning. It was quite a workout for my wee birdlike limbs, and at the end I had to leave to throw up in the bathroom. Someone heard me and (I swear to God) yelled out “Sounds like you ate my wife’s cooking!” That was when I realized that the door to the men’s changing room was actually A PASSAGEWAY TO 1956.
Posted in: How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
#2 stu | Jun 4th Score:37
Hey man, I think she’s checking you out!
Posted in: How To Meet Women In The Grocery Store
#1 topknot | Jun 5th Score:38
I’ve been pretty exhausted all day. I mentioned this yesterday, but I got married on Saturday, and still have yet to really recover. We still have friends and family in town, so I was out pretty late last night. I’ve been back at work for 2 days, and it’s fine but I really feel like I need to sleep for 2 days straight to feel normal again.

But I am not complaining, because I am really, really happy.



Posted in: How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Wow, I'm so glad that is number one and not any of the other numbers. How embarrassing that would be! CONGRATULATIONS, TOPKNOT! THE WEEK IS YOUR'S!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

facetaco | Jun 3rd Score:-4
Did anybody stop to think that maybe it’s just time to let this thing die already?
Posted in: Doctor Who‘s Next?! (To Play The Doctor??) (On The Show!)

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Apparently not!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

The Aura of the H-Man | Jun 4th Score:20
Looks like they ran out of salad.
Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Lunch With Katherine Heigl

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, The Aura of the H-Man! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  martinmegs | Jun 5th Score:10

This is total bullshit.

Posted in: The Only Way The Robots Can Win Is By Fucking CHEATING!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Seriously.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

topknot | 12:01pm Score:5
I’d lay in the road. #theprogram
Posted in: Are You Doing Anything Special For The Purge This Year?!

[Ed. Note: First of all shout out to the entire The Purge thread, which is one of my most favorite threads in a really long time. Everyone is doing great work over there. (Another highlight of the thread: "Ugh, what if The Purge was on your birthday?" But you have to give it up for this comment, which is both a funny The Purge comment and also a decent call back.]

Comments (38)
  1. Congratulations on your marriage, Topknot!


  3. Good work everyone! Have a great weekend!

  4. Woohoo, leg #2 of my EGOT!

    S tonight is the beginning of concert week 2013! Eleanor Friedberger tonight. Dandy Warhols tomorrow. Sunday God told me to rest. CHVRCHES (appropriately) on Monday. Japadroids on Tuesday. Christopher Owens (Girls – the band, not the TV show) on Wednesday. Dirty Projectors on Thursday (early and late shows). Then maybe Divine Fits on Friday, which will also be my birthday. It’s gonna be a full week, you guys! Happy weekend.

  5. We made it! I am officially entering my late 20s this weekend and I’m using some vacation time to make it a long weekend, so this will be me for the next few days:

    • Happy early birthday other late 20s Videogum Gemini (I’m sure there are only two of us). I’m about to enter my LATEST twenty in about a week and booo-urns.

      • Yay for Geminis! I don’t know anything about astrology but I definitely believe that it’s real and that Geminis are the best. And look at it this way: you are about to be one step closer to being Thirty, Flirty and Thriving. I tried to find a GIF of that line from 13 Going on 30 but for some reason all that came up was GIFs of Kristen Wiig trippin’ on the plane in Bridesmaids and Benedict Cumberbatch dramatically removing his scarf.

  6. I want to thank you guys for NEVER pointing out that every single comment I post has at least one MAJOR grammar error in it (usually involving leaving out entire words, or just typing the wrong word altogether). It happens because I’m usually not supposed to be commenting when I comment, so I am all nervous I’ll get caught and my comment will be printed in the newspaper, which is what they always tell us will happen at my work, because our computers are city property and so is everything we do on them. Or something. Anyway, very long comment, but have a great weekend.

  7. HEY GUYS!! I haven’t commented in a while either and I too got married on Saturday, can ya believe it?

    We just had a civil ceremony with family but then our friends surprised us afterwards with a party behind the bar where we had our first drink with and an impromptu concert, so we ended up having our first dance anyway.

  8. My coworker made manhattans at the end of the day. Except his manhattans were like 3 manhattans in one so I am very drunk. I did manage to come home and put on my cat-eye makeup successfully. I think that means I win. I probably win. Also, they were manhattans made with Hudson rye, so they were completely ridiculously good. And now it’s tapas time!

  9. Happy weekend everyone!

  10. as Jeff said I am stunned that someone able to earn $5665 in one month on the internet. did you look at this webpage………

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