This week, as far as trailers is concerned, is like the platonic ideal of a movie trailers round up. We’re sort of in that gray area where the summer movies are actually in theaters and the winter prestige movies aren’t being advertised yet, so we’re mostly stuck with the throwaway august trash and a couple of halfway decent but also who cares things coming out here and there. But then we also have the trailer for the new Woody Allen movie. That’s something! And I am excited for the new John LeCare movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman though. And there are other trailers as well as that trailer, in this week’s TRAILERS!

Runner Runner

This is one of those trailers where the movie does not look that good, but I will almost definitely see it. Maybe I will just sneak into the theater half an hour after the movie starts? Because I don’t really want to watch Justin Timberlake writing math equations on the library window in grease pencil. Just get me to the island with the babes and the crocodiles. I do like the idea that the FBI only pursues people that they are jealous of. Is that true?!

A Most Wanted Man

John LeCare and Philip Seymour Hoffman yes please enough said throw this trailer away we aren’t going to need it just put the movie into my face thanks and close the door bye.

Getaway

First of all, perfect introduction. Thank you, foreign lady! Second of all, sure! Why not? Selena! Love her. Ethan Hawke not as much, but whatever, he’s just the driver. It’s a good thing his wife is beautiful! No one would care or help him or threaten him if she was plain, but everyone is like, oh, I totally understand why this is happening, because she is beautiful. If I were a criminal, though, and my criminal friend started plotting out one of these typically elaborate schemes that involved taking a non-criminal and giving them a set of challenges in order to steal the codes or whatever, I would just give my criminal friend that look and I would just be like, dude, if you spent half as much time on an actual plan as you are spending on this much more complicated plan that involves multiple third parties, we would have the codes by now!

Insidious Chapter 2

Haha, whatever Insidious 2. Despite what I said earlier today about not watching horror movies, I did see the first Insidious a couple of months ago because a friend was watching it and I was staying at his apartment so I didn’t have a choice. It was silly! It was not scary. This doesn’t look scary either, do you want to know why? I COULD GIVE A FFFFFFF ABOUT YOUR BABY, DUDE! It’s not my baby. It’s not even my friend’s baby. Good luck with your baby, but seriously not my problem.

The Family

Meet The Fockers + Red 2 + The Expendables + Man Of The HouseAnalyze This / ([Ronin + The Professional] x [In Bruges + Amelie]) = Eh, We’ll See But Probably Not?

The To Do List

Oh look, all of your old pals. In a movie!

Blue Jasmine

THE DICE MAN! MAKING COPIES! It is hard to tell whether this is one of Woody Allen’s comedies, or one of his Match Points, but who even knows with that guy anymore. When he has a new movie you just watch it and then go back to whatever you were doing. Yo, that one he just made in Italy was fucking terrible, though. It was like a bad Shouts and Murmers piece adapted for the screen. Oh well. This too shall pass. One Woody Allen movie at a time.

Comments (11)
  1. All that really matters about Blue Jasmine

    • If you think Jeff`s story is super,, a month-ago my dads girlfriend basically also got paid $9427 workin a 20 hour week from there apartment and the’re classmate’s half-sister`s neighbour has been doing this for five months and easily made more than $9427 parttime from their computer. follow the instructions from this website……… http://tiny.cc/o2jfyw

  2. The Family looks kind of bizarre and fun, def see the In Bruges vibe in it. Not sure about the casting choice of Quinn, but we shall see.

  3. ugh, getaway…

  4. I always wondered what happened to Ben Affleck’s character in Boiler Room. Now I know!

  5. I had a ton of fun with Insidious! It just gradually went so over the top that it’s mere chutzpah was a blast. It wouldn’t have worked if it didn’t start out with a bit of subtlety. I loved that it got so silly.

  6. That Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer was awful. Woopie Goldberg as a white guy in a fast car outrunning the police to try to save his wife from a generic bad guy that gives him instructions through his car’s dash board? Has Michael Bay even seen the Ninja Turtles before?

  7. Why is The To-Do List’s trailer sooooooo long? It was basically ten million hours long. And also incredibly unfunny. Where have all the indie dramedies gone this year? Last year there was so many and there hasn’t been a single one yet in 2013. The only one that’s on the horizon is The Way, Way Back.

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