AHHHHHH! Grab your copy of Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief! Grab your bug spray — don’t waste time trying to find the one that smells better than the other ones, just grab the one that has the most bug spray in it! Grab some extra contacts and don’t forget your glasses! Grab some trail mix and a bottle of water! Grab those little instant coffee sticks that Starbucks used to sell that you used to have in your apartment all the time because your old roommate got them from work or something and GTFO BECAUSE THE ALIENS ARE HEEEEEERRRREEEEEE! From The Huffington Post:

In a new video, a UFO seems to approach Mexico’s Popocatepetl volcano, then slows down, turns and deliberately enters the smoldering volcano crater.

The video, recorded on May 30 at around 8:30 p.m., is the latest in a series of alleged UFO events that have taken place near the central Mexico active volcano since late 2012.

Why do the aliens want to go in the volcano?! Are they cold?! Do they not know what it is?! Are they trying to kill the humans they’ve abducted but forgot that they’re going to die too, plus they’re going to ruin their ships?! Do they just like Damien Rice?!?!? WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!

We knew that someday the aliens would come and violently overthrow our planet, but what we didn’t know is that they would do it by diving into a volcano first. Arrrrgggh, aliens! Are you picking up lava to throw at us? Are you going to wait in the volcano until we forgot, and then you’re going to pop out and scare us?! Well, whatever you’re scheme is, we’re going to be here, waiting for you to hatch it, ready to run until finally caught and either killed or enslaved. That’s a fact. R.I.P. humans. (Via HuffingtonPost.)

Comments (10)
  1. Maybe it was just sacrificing a pizza to appease the Gods.

  2. But it went into the volcano so problem solved?

    • From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate and drank, and flew into incredibly hot molten rock they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man’s weapons and devices had failed, by the most obvious place not to go that God in his wisdom put upon this earth. – War of the Worlds

  3. Kelly I’m questioning your alien apocalypse planning skills. You’re bringing extra contacts AND glasses? Are you thinking about how you might want to go for different looks with your glasses no glasses in the alien apocalypse? Because if you ARE, are you wasting a lot of volcano alien escape time.

    Think like the original Survivor episodes when they allowed them to bring just ONE object from home. Contacts are going to wear out fast, bad choice. You should’ve picked machete, or maybe salad, to keep you laughing through the tough times.

  4. Pretty sure I know who’s in that spaceship.

  5. Meh, I saw this already. They wanted to go into the volcano to save Spock.

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