How do you meet women in a grocery store? I guess first you have to find where the women are, in order to meet them. I’d recommend first checking the aisles in which you’d find women-related products — soaps, candles, rubber gloves, feminine napkins (napkins with designs on them, for parties). Walk up and down these aisles until you find a woman. (It might take longer than you’d expect, depending on how many women live in your neighborhood and how often they go shopping for groceries. Don’t give up! They have to be there sometime! It’s not like women can go for long periods of time without eating, right? Hahah.) (Or can they? If you do research and find that women’s bodies do not require food at the same rate that men’s bodies do [or maybe they can store food inside somewhere?] you might want to rethink the location of meeting a woman — remember to check.) Once you find a woman you’d like to approach, walk up to her and approach her from her side. DO NOT APPROACH HER FROM HER BACK!! Women are frightened easily and do not like it if you stand behind them and introduce yourself, EVEN IF that was how it happened naturally and they were facing the shelves and you needed something from where they were reaching, so what did they expect you to do? You weren’t trying to be weird. Tell her your name and ask her what her name is. Does she respond with a name? If yes, ask her where her boyfriend is — say something like, “Oh, is this the kind of soap your boyfriend likes?” (Her response will tell you whether or not she has a boyfriend!!) If she responds with something along the lines of, “I don’t have a boyfriend, but I would like it very much if my boyfriend DID use this soap, if I had one,” casually put the soap into your shopping cart. Say, “Maybe he does?” You’ve successfully planted the seed. Leave the grocery store and hope you see her around town again.

Or I guess talk to her about how fun and interesting ice cream is (to talk about) and then segue gracefully into asking if she wants to “do it together.” (Thanks for the tip, Terry!)

Comments (49)
  1. I usually meet women in the grocery store (sometimes men too!) by putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, at which point they pick them up and tell me how much I have to pay them. They’re short relationships, but I think they’re pretty fulfilling for all involved.

  2. I was unable to listen to this with sound, but I really hope the pick up line by the ice cream was, “I’ll double churn your cream.” (I want to cry just from having typed that.)

  3. I find it works best if you hang out in the produce section. Women go there a lot because of how much they love salad, and there’s a wide array of products that can be used in a suggestive manner, usually accompanied by winking.

  4. Get ready ladies, this combined with the Navy’s super sweet How to Capture Brunettes (isn’t that what it was called?) is going to make the men folk irresistible! Soon we’ll all be partnered up in our loving grocery store relationships, laughing and eating salads in our submarines.

  5. Also, when is Videogum gonna ask us how our day/week/life is going?? Because me, and maybe Brooklyn generally, had a really bad weekend :(

  6. Approach all you want, but don’t be surprised when I respond with “Silence. The Choosing Of The Food is a sacred time.”

  7. This guy’s videos are all amazing and made my day yesterday. I especially like the one where he talks about how to have confident posture and the camera slowly tilts up from his feet to reveal his confident pose.

  8. If she’s using a shopping cart/trolley, grip the front, blocking her exit. “Haha. my knuckes are turning as white as ice cream! Hahaha. What do YOU think is fun? “

  9. I guess the ice cream jokes are behind a pay wall.

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