Well this is certainly something new:

Wait, what? Are Charismatic (speaking-in-tongues) Christians allowed to take actual ecstasy now? Because that seems like cheating. Let’s check out this young star’s YouTube channel page for possible answers:

Name: Cait, Age: 18: I am sold out, fully consumed, hungry, thirsty, desperate Jesus freak! He is ALL that matters to me.I want to get soooo close to Him, that His Heartbeat becomes mine, His Thoughts become my thoughts, His Actions are my actions. Oh how desperate I am for more of Him, all of Him and none of me!
Interests and Hobbies: Spending time with Jesus, Holy Ghost intimacy, ecstatic experiences, revival, glowray realm, deliverances, salvations, signs + wonders + miracles!

Further research, like watching her previous, less salvia-y videos and figuring out wtf a “glowray realm” is, must be done to determine the nature of Cait After Church (I just couldn’t wait to share her), but in the meantime, so many new catchphrases! Yabba! Sheeki! Shakka! Pour it out, Lord. I am so loveified right now. SUBSCRIBE.

Comments (34)
  1. “I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus; I wanna feel his salvation all over my face…” Yabba.

    • He lays down science, really blows my mind. He’s also got abs that transcend space and time. He’s the son of God, and I think that’s cool. But he’s got a swimmer’s bod like nobody do.
      Amen.

  2. Bitch dun crazy.

  3. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • “Jesus-fuckin-christ”
      - An American Patriot (2009)

    • TC  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +18

      We have a winner. Nobody else is touching this. Shut down the thread.

    • cin u reed
      shee sez “Charismatic Christians”
      not christunz in genrul

    • “I can find you all sorts of psycho bitches that arent Christian or are atheist.”
      So can Videogum. They post videos of crazy people every single day, from all walks of life. There are multiple recurring themes, “I know a lot about business, and I will prove it with my amateur YouTube videos,” “I’m not as good at dancing as I think I am,” “This is a bad idea for a multi-million-dollar-movie, but we made it anyway,” and yeah, “I think I’m untouchable, I’m Christian!”

      I’m Christian, and I don’t interpret Lindsay’s posts like you do. Also, they’re informed from a place of familiarity, clearly. Sorry to get all deep.

  4. apollo  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 0

    it’s easy when you put up shit like this, yeah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndxB_Okpg3s&feature=channel

  5. I believe it’s spelled “Chaka.”

  6. signs + wonders + miracles! = Holy Ghost Intimacy

  7. i don’t think she reads the bible. it is not in her “info”.

  8. That’s my girlfriend

  9. tgs  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +1

    did she really say Shaka?

  10. “Catchphrases”?

  11. She’s every woman

  12. I usually avoid delving into the religious portion of my life, but these psychopaths are everywhere.

    I used to be HELLA CATHOLIC, and I went to a few of those weird faith-based three day seminar/camps/brainwashings. People would legitimately freak out and speak in tongues during adoration (THEY PUT THE COMMUNION WAFER IN A GIANT GOLDEN HOLDER AND YOU LOOK AT IT FOR HOURS WHILE KNEELING ON THE FUCKING GROUND, WITH ROCKS).

    I used to kind of care about my faith, I put a lot into it and tried for a long time to reconcile the obvious things about the world with the things they told me. When people I thought I respected accepted that these people were actually “speaking in tongues”, I was like “Sorry, Jesus, the only Speaking in Tongues I’m aware of is that great Talking Heads album”

  13. Looks like she found her G(sus) spot.

  14. Liat  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +1

    This is satire yes? Like one of those Jesusophile clips right?
    I’m starting to worry here, people.

  15. Why is the “speaking in tongues” fake language always sound like the most racist impersonation of a Middle Eastern person? And, believe me, they are all like that. I’ve never seen, in all of my youtube research on Pentacostal crazies, say, an insane speaking of tongues meltdown that has any “bjorns” in it.

    • this “bjorn” idea is worth following up. I knew a danish guy that spoke in tongues but I can’t remember the dialect.

    • ThatGuy  |   Posted on Jun 3rd, 2009 +8

      A-ha! And people told me my degree in Religion would never be useful. As a matter of factual fact, glossolalia or “speaking in tongues” has been the subject of a lot of really interesting linguistic research. As far as I know researchers have found that people tend to use only sounds in their language’s repertoire but still borrow heavily from those they’ve heard in foreign languages, often gutterals like “kcchh” as in “chutzpah” or “sshh” and so on. I’ll show myself out, thank you.

  16. charismatic is even an umbrella term when compared to this girl’s EXTREME-ness. 1 out of every 4 protestant churches in the united states is considered charasmatic, meaning they “believe that the manifestations of the Holy Spirit seen in the first century Christian Church are available to contemporary Christians and may be experienced and practiced today” (wikipedia).

    its one thing to do that stuff in church, its another altogether to put that shit on youtube. geez.

  17. Mikey  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +2

    I just watched a ton of her vids. I’m torn. I think she’s maybe truly religious, or at least grew up in a VERY religious atmosphere, but I have NO doubts that she and her friends are high most of the time, despite her denial. I think the videos are like an in-joke to former evangelical kids where they talk total nonsense about God and Jesus, but they completely fucked up. Ha! Good one!

  18. As a pretty determined agnostic, i’m at my most spiritual when on drugs. So the two going hand in hand doesn’t seem that farfetched to me at least.
    But still. Bitch is crazyyyyy.
    Yabba.

  19. Yabba! I am loveified by this video sooo much. Speaking of SHEEKI, from another charismatic youtube jebus freak, we have something I can’t even begin to comprehend:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmA6cBl9zcg&NR=1

  20. mr. loverman. SHABBA!

    • chubbyjones  |   Posted on Jun 3rd, 2009 0

      That is the only thing I could think of while watching this too. Now I’m gonna have that song in my head the rest of the day. Thanks Jesus girl.

  21. Oh, good.

  22. I think “GLOWRAY” is “GLORY” with a southern twang as in “the glowray of the lord” or some damn thing.

  23. I grew up in a church like this. There was a phase during the ’90s where even more traditional charismatic churches were into this kind of thing. It started kind of with the Vineyard Church. The idea is that “you can get drunk in the Lord” and you used to see people falling all the time, laughing hysterically, and slurring their words. It’s not as popular now but you still run into some churches that are into it. I think it’s a kind of psychological trick, or at least that’s my conclusion now that I’m no longer religious.

  24. Someone get Jeff VanVonderen on the phone. Stat.

  25. equalitystreet  |   Posted on Jun 6th, 2009 +1

    That is not speaking in tongues. That is Tourette’s.

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