For years we were all able to live in a dream world, a world in which Robert Pattinson, movie vampire, and Kristen Stewart, movie vampire (spoiler), lived and loved together in an exclusive relationship. Ah, to be so young and lucky as we were! To have held the idea that true vampire love existed — it seems so unimaginable now! And today we receive the final nail in our coffin (vampires), the news that Robert Pattinson has officially switched types. BUT TO WHAT TYPE?! From HollywoodLife:

Robert Pattinson, 27, spent the past five years dating Kristen Stewart, a gorgeous, brunette beauty with a tomboy streak. Now that the couple has split, a source tells EXCLUSIVELY that Rob has become a fan of a different kind of girl who is totally opposite of Kristen!

“His type now is definitely–

DEFINITELY WHAT?! Here are my guesses:

  • Blogger
  • Glasses-wearing adorkable but still all right
  • Sporty bikini babe with a brain
  • ’90s MTV VJ style but from today
  • Musician who has a good voice but only plays an instrument in the band/ensemble she is part of
  • Twitter comedian
  • Cool mom
  • Has the personality of a dog lover but doesn’t want a dog
Am I close?! What is his new typeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

“His type now is definitely blonde — it looks like he’s moving as far away from K-Stew as possible,” the source reveals.

Oh. Well, why do you think so?

When Rob and Kristen first split last summer, Rob had a fling with a sexy blonde waitress.

After filming Cosmopolis, Rob stayed friends with his beautiful blonde co-star, Sarah Gadon. Now that Kristen and Rob have ended things, will Rob and Sarah’s relationship turn into a romance?

Wait, because he had a fling and a blonde costar that he has stayed friends with? Uggggghh, HollywoodLife! PLZ DON’T GET ME RILED UP WITH THE IDEA THAT ROBERT PATTINSON HAS SWITCHED HAIR TYPES UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME SOLID EVIDENCE TO PRESENT!

Rob was also recently spotted out partying with some friends, including a blonde beauty!

Ooooooooh. All right. My bad, HollywoodLife. It’s just, it’s hard to know who has solid news to report about Robert Pattinson these days and who is just reporting stuff about Robert Pattinson that could go either way. You know? Anyway, okay, thank you! Bye!

Comments (24)
  1. Well, now I’ve heard of everything.

    • Seeking someone for a match? And can not find your type around you? So why not try to meet someone online? Actually one of my friends recently recommended one site to me, which I thought was fantastic, <>, it’s the place for sugar daddy meeting sugar baby who can potentially become your perfect match. Meet sugar baby and sugar daddy for romance or love. Your life will not be alone.sdfgdf67

  2. Wouldn’t the opposite of Kristen Stewart be older, male, shaved head, charismatic… like Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Patrick Stewart, YOURS TRULY (Call me, Robert!)

  3. The kind who can act?

  4. “True move vampire love” sounds even grosser than regular vampire love.

  5. I think they mean “A different kind of girl who is totally opposite of Kristen while still being skinny, white and traditionally pretty.”

    I mean, come on:

  6. You don’t just like, pick a new type, do you? You have ideas of who you want to be with, but this is sounding like the dude is picking his new favorite style of t shirt or something.

  7. From the HollywoodLife comments on this article: (“ARTICLE”)

    “people grow apart. people change as they mature. what you love at 21 is not necessarily what you want at 27. good luck and a happy life to the both of them.”

    Fantastic voice of reason in the tumult of the brunette-to-blonde type-change. I feel calmer already.

    • What happens if Kristen Stewart dyes her hair blonde? Will he go back to her until he his new type is a redhead?

      • He doesn’t take her back, he yells “OPPOSITE DAY!” in her face and sprints away, because his voice cracked on “DAY” and his face would be starting to contort from the sobs, and everyone will be like “I mean, ‘Opposite day’ kind of worked there, but not really. Opposite of what? He must be very upset.”

  8. Null and void

  9. Upon reading this, my first thought was that it was shallow to define someone’s “type” by their hair color as if that defined what kind of person they are. My second thought was that it was probably fair in this case as hair does seem to have more personality than KStew.

  10. The opposite of Kristin Stewart would be someone who smiles a lot. Cause she never smiles.

  11. Who reads HollywoodLife? Is it aimed at the same demographic as Tiger Beat?

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