Close your eyes. Imagine drifting to sleep in a big, nice bed — like the kind of bed you’d find in a fancy hotel that is specifically known for its nice beds. You wake up well-rested and ready for your day (when you use your imagination you have to start with going to sleep and waking up, right?) (STAY WITH ME), but something seems different. What could it be? You look out your window — the sun is shining, people walk up and down the street going to work or school or wherever. The things in your apartment are exactly where they were the day before, but still…Something seems off. You open your window and stick your head out. The world seems oddly peaceful. Could it be? You neglect to wear your indoor mosquito spray, yet you don’t get bitten. You go for a walk and feel no fear of being stung by a bee because you don’t see any bees. You visit the park and lie in the grass and yet you don’t feel like your hair is covered in ants. You visit Radiolab’s cicada tracker and the website straight up doesn’t exist anymore. What’s going on? Suddenly it hits you all at once, you realize that everything you’ve experienced leads only to one answer: YOU’VE AWOKEN IN A WORLD FREE OF BUGS AND NOTHING ELSE HAS CHANGED, EVERYTHING IS STILL GOOD, NATURE STILL WORKS OR WHATEVER, EVERYTHING’S FINE, ONLY ALL THE BUGS ARE GONE! NO MORE BUGS! YOU ARE FREE TO EXIST IN THE WORLD WITHOUT BUG-DRIVEN FEAR! You breathe in and out, slowly. In and out once more. Now, open your eyes.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO GO BACK! I WANT TO GO BACK! I WANT TO GO BACK! (Via NYMag.)

Comments (8)
  1. I remember when we had Brood XIII here in the Chicago area a few years ago. It was pretty awesome. The only thing that sucked was trying to play golf while being dive-bombed by what appeared to be small mice with wings.

  2. I know some people who made cicada cookies. I did not try one, but if a friend offers you a cookie during cicada season, you might want to think twice about that.

  3. Somebody moderate my last comment, please.

  4. THE PORN MUSIC. CICADA PORN MUSIC.

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