“Ugh, how will we ever get people to buy this stupid cheesy food disc?” The most important businessmen at Dominos Pizza sat around a pizza-shaped table (round shape) and cursed their fate. They had been left this failing business (Dominos) after their dad (Mr. Dominos) gave up the company and moved to a beach somewhere, never having figured out how to properly market his invention (pizza). “Why did we tell dad we would take over the family business?” one of the businessmen asked the other, “That was so stupid of us! I don’t want to deal with this stupid invention that nobody wants!” “Because that’s what family does,” answered the more family-oriented businessman, “We stick together and we help each other. Plus, I believe in pizza. I think it can work, we just need to figure out how to market it.” He was like Peter Krause on Parenthood, if you can picture that. So the businessmen thought and thought and thought. “What if we can link the pizza to something else people like? Something round shaped?” one of them suggested. “Oh, like this table” answered the worst businessman. “Kind of, but, no, like…what about a record?” The problem with that suggestion, they figured out soon, was that few people listened to records anymore and they didn’t want to associate themselves with the small market that did. (Fair.) “Well…what about DVDs?” “What?” What about DVDs? What was this guy talking about? “You know, DVDs. And we can make it smell like pizza after the people watch it? And also look like pizza.” Ooohhhhhh. “THAT IS A VERY GOOD IDEA,” the rest of the businessmen shouted at once. And that is why we all eat pizza today. The End.

Thank you, Dominos! Thank you, pizza! NO THANK YOU, DVDS! WHY DON’T YOU ALL DO THIS?! (Via Geekologie.)

Comments (21)
  1. This is dumb, but at least after watching this video I can say that I finally saw Argo.

  2. My heart goes out to all the people who will furtively lick these DVDs and then feel really stupid.

  3. This is my actual response: “Yes. Oh wait, it’s Dominos? Nevermind.”

  4. Argo eat a pizza!

  5. How do we get a bunch of people to give us a bunch of editors to give us free publicity? Hmmmm. Oh, I have an idea.


  6. Michael Bay is really going balls to the wall on this TMNT reboot.

  7. This makes sense, since their pizzas smell like plastic anyway.

  8. Wow, The Seventh Seal was an incredible movie. And now it’s a pizza.

  9. As a designerd, I think this is a really cool idea but a silly execution. It would be fun if you got the DVD and then the ink revealed a code for extras or something. Or a golden-ticket prize.

    Anyway, this is a step down from just sticking a coupon in the VHS packaging, even if the coupon was always expired.

  10. I wonder if they’ve improved “pizza smell” technology since the ’80s? The pizza scratch-n-sniff stickers smelled like rot, as I recall.

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