One of the coolest (“always start on a lie” is the blogger’s code) parts about the 24 hour entertainment blog “news” cycle is how often questions will be asked of celebrities specifically to report the question as fact if the celebrity gives anything other than a “no” answer. You know? Like, “Jennifer Aniston, will there be a Friends reunion?” “Oh, that would be nice, but I don’t think–” “JENNIFER ANISTON SAYS FRIENDS REUNION POSSIBLE.” Or, “Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls movie?” “Oh, a Gilmore Girls movie? Uh–” “LARUEN GRAHAM SAYS GILMORE GIRLS MOVIE!” You know. That isn’t exactly what went on here, but GQ did recently ask Bill Hader about the possibility of a “Stefon” movie, SO THAT MEANS NOW WE GET TO TALK ABOUT IT! From GQ, via Splitsider:
There’s no emotional through line. Sometimes people say to me “I want a Stefon movie” and I’m like, you think you want a Stefon movie but then you’ll see the poster for it and think: “Wait, I don’t want this.”
Uh, excuse me, do NOT tell us whether or not we want two hours of one joke that, while very good, sometimes feels a little long during its 1.5 minute segment on “Weekend Update.” GIVE AMERICA WHAT IT WANTS FOR ONE SECOND AND WILL DISPOSE OF IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS! THE AMERICAN WAY! What would a Stefon movie be like, though? I can’t even imagine. Just lying, I CAN!
- Stefon, an orphan, goes in search of his parents.
- Stefon starts a club of his own but ultimately realizes owning your own club isn’t as fun as just going to clubs. Goes back to his day job as a family physician.
- Stefon goes to jail.
- Stefon goes to space.
- The movie is a documentary following the life of an actual club kid and, though the club kid himself doesn’t necessarily realize, it is heartbreaking.
- Stefon lists club names for 1.5 hours.
- From Stefon to Mango
- Stefon moves in with his sister, who is having an affair with her boss, and her adorable son for a while.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS? I think it’s gonna be great!