Do you remember where you were when you watched the first episode of the first season of The Office? I remember. I was weary about it because I loved the BBC series, the people of Scranton — where I lived — were weary about it because of how they thought they would be portrayed, and I was at a high school friend’s house because I HADN’T EVEN LEFT FOR FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE YET! THAT’S HOW LONG THIS SHOW HAS BEEN ON! SINCE BEFORE A PERSONAL LIFE MILESTONE THAT IS MEANINGLESS TO YOU! But to give you a sense of how long it has been, I entered college at age 18 and I am currently 4,500 years old. Long time! Man, 2005. We were all so different back then. OUR PRESIDENT WAS GEORGE W. BUSH! Man oh man. Is anyone else’s mind blown by the changes their life has gone through since watching the first episode of The Office in their high school friend’s house back before they left for college? No? Just me? Does anyone still want to play (definitely do not play) a drinking game to say goodbye to our old friend tonight? Yes? Everyone? (No one.) GREAT! Drink every time:

  • You wonder if Michael Scott is going to show up.
  • Jim and Pam do something that lets you know they’re going to be just fine.
  • Andy is still there.
  • You wonder if Kelly Kapoor is going to show up.
  • Your eyes well up with tears and you are just so mad that The Office is making you cry.
  • You attempt to blink away the tears before anyone sees.
  • You wonder if Ryan Howard is going to show up.
  • You remember that the block of comedy on NBC Thursday nights that once held all of your favorite shows actually does not exist anymore.
  • You remember how old you are.
  • You remember what you thought you’d accomplish by the year 2013 back in the year 2005.
  • You see a character and you think, “Is this the last time I’m going to see this character?”
  • A character says goodbye and you know that it’s, like, FOR REAL goodbye.
  • Jim pranks Dwight.
  • A character knowingly looks at the camera.
  • You die, because you just CANNOT.

BE SAFE OUT THERE TONIGHT! Don’t play this game! And then let’s meet back here tomorrow and talk about the finale!

Comments (22)
  1. Weary? Weary? Weally?

  2. I’ll be playing the Knicks Elimination Playoff Game Drinking Game. I’m going to take a drink every time:

    -Melo settles for a 20 foot jump shot on an iso play
    -JR Smith settles for a 20 foot jump shot on an iso play

    And that’s it. I should be plenty drunk by the 3rd quarter.

  3. Taking a drink every time I think about what I once hoped to have accomplished by 2013 is pretty much my Thursday night anyway.

  4. Lil Wayne was 23 years old and hadn’t had a syzzurp induced stroke yet

  5. Sexy Back was their generation’s Get Lucky

  6. Every time everyone else hates Nellie and I don’t get it, Nellie’s pretty cool I say. Same for Toby and Pam.

  7. Steve Carrel couldn’t afford hair surgery yet.

  8. 2005 was two popes ago. That is a long time. But more importantly, 11 years ago we still had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.

  9. No love for Devon?

  10. I’ve had three different jobs since The Office first went on the air. Not sure what that says about me.

  11. I’m torn. I used to love the Office, but the last few seasons haven’t done much for me, and I’m still working my way through Doctor Who….so have fun with your drinking game? Those who survive, I’ll see you tomorrow!

  12. Gabe didn’t show. (The Office Gabe, not you, Gabe.)

  13. I am writing this comment from the BEYOND because I am now dead from alcohol poisoning. So FUCK YOU Kelly and your stupid dangerous game !!!
    And I totally lost it when Erin reunited with her Mom, Joan Cusack. The Ed Begley Jr. part was just dumb overkill.

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