This is a picture of Khloe Kardashian posing with her dentist, Kevin B. Sands, after he installed (is that the right word?) Invisalign braces in the reality star’s face. VERY COOL! We get to enjoy this photo because THE DENTIST TWEETED IT. What fun. What? You’ve never been to the dentist or something? You’ve never posed for a picture with your dentist in overblown gold light for the express purpose of his own self-promotion on social media? (He also slips in a reference to how much he enjoys taking care of Lamar’s teeth as well, because you only get one shot, mom’s spaghetti.) Look, we all have to get some money or else we are stealing apples in the street like poor little Aladdin and look how that turned out! And lord knows, Khloe ain’t mind. “Excuse me, this is embarrassing, but would you mind if I got a–” and when you look up, she is gone, but there is a glossy 8×10″ in your hand signed “To , Love Khloe.” If you look closely enough, everyone’s name is scrawled in different hand writing and different colored pen on all of her photos. It is funny how the way it used to work was if a dentist or restaurant or some kind of functional business came into contact with a celeb on a regular basis, they might eventually screw up the courage to ask for a signed headshot that they could put on their wall, to let current and existing customers know that they too were part of a successful enterprise. The mild palpitations and palm sweat that come with any proximity to fame is the engine that drives this country. But that exchange now seems quaint. How on Earth are you going to LET THE WORLD KNOW with your framed photograph? No, it’s gotta be viral. We gotta go big with this one. Khloe and Lamar? The fuck outta here. PUT IT ON-LINE THAT IS WHERE THE KIDS ARE, LET THEM KNOW WHO IS THE COOLEST DDS IN TOWN. Neat world. Cool world. Excited just to be alive long enough to see it.

Comments (15)
  1. If a famous person came into my establishment, and I had h opportunity to let everyone know about it, I would probably do the same. If a Kardashian got braces, it’s gonna be on the “news”, why should they benefit from it more than the person who did the work? Twitter pics basically ARE the “headshot wall” of the 21st century.

  2. What are the odds that this guy makes his receptionist answer the phone, “You’ve reached the office of Dr. Kevin Sands, DENTIST TO THE STARS!”? Good, or very good?

  3. He’ll be a lot cooler in about 20 years when he turns very serious and starts cooking meth instead.

  4. MORE SANDS!

  5. Doesn’t announcing you have Invisalign defeat the purpose?

  6. Can we realign this conversation so that we discuss the Cavity Creeps, as the tag suggests? F’in A, those were some quality shambolic standins for the commies back when the Cold War kept our culture in line and kept fameballs like the Kardashians under wraps.

  7. I like to read his name like Kevin Be Sands. He Be Sands. Sands Be him. They are one, now and forever.

  8. My previous dentist (RIP Dr. Primack) was also Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s dentist (RIP Russell T. Jones). We didn’t have Twitter back then, so I know this only through anecdotes.

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