How was your day today? From here it seems like it was pretty fine! At least the part that I saw — you got to try Google Glass for an Engaget video, after your popular Google Glass “Weekend Update” segment appeared on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, and that’s not too shabby. Though I don’t know, hah, maybe filming videos like that isn’t too fun? I’ve never done anything like that. Like, maybe it’s difficult coming up with something to say, especially since it seems like you were really stretching for something nice to — Wait. THIS ISN’T MY EMAIL TO FRED ARMISEN! LOL! Hahahahahah. Ahhh. So fun. Still LOLing over here. You LOLing? Take a second to LOL it out. PHEW. Ok, but, so, Fred Armisen did try Google Glass for an Engaget video and it is a pretty good video because it goes almost exactly like his “Weekend Update” segment went two weeks ago or whenever it was. That product doesn’t look like it works too well, at the moment! When we all buy it, we’ll just have to convince ourselves it’s more for the look than for the actual use. We will look so cute, though, so it won’t even matter. Ok videotime!

HOW WAS YOUR DAY? (Mine was fine! I’m sleepy, though!)

Comments (117)
  1. I’ve been emailing shelters about dogs for my new house and I’ve sort of hit a wall. All the ones I like aren’t fits for me and they keep suggesting dogs that are super impractical. “I have a cranky old cat who needs to be left alone and I like to hike. Who is good off-leash and ignores cats?” “We have a lab mix who would be an excellent fit for you! He isn’t very good off-leash and he killed the last cat he lived with, but other than that it sounds like a good fit.” <– ACTUAL RESPONSE FROM A SHELTER. Oh well. One day my prince will come…

    • You may want to consider fostering a couple of dogs and see how they do in your environment.

      • What if they attack my cat? I just want to know these things beforehand. He is old and it will be stressful to have a stream of dogs invading his space.

        • Check out fostering older dogs who have lived with / are indifferent to / are afraid of cats. Rescue groups often use fostering as a way to save space. Also, puppies could be more acclimated to Catticus, but you would have to test it out.

          Also, going into a shelter smelling a lot like your cat (clothes he sleeps on, etc.) and playing with the dog could help gauge its reaction somewhat — especially if he or she starts growling. I’m pretty sure bringing your cat to the shelter to play with the dogs and see how they interact may not be the ideal or even plausible scenario, but there must be a way to test it out before you adopt.

    • Check out Gaby is 5 and seems pretty chill.

  2. Well I woke up thinking I was planet today. Hoo boy, well won’t be making that mistake again tomorrow.

  3. Today has been good! I convinced my boss to take our staff out to a really great restaurant for lunch today, and it was amazing. I’ve been watching the 2nd season of Homeland and it’s been great! It’s 2 weeks utnil my wedding, so having something to watch after work instead of driving myself crazy with nerves is a good thing.

    And it looks like it’s going to rain, which is great!

  4. Yesterday my province went to the polls and everyone was all, “it’s going to be a landlide for the good guys (in my opinion)!!!” and it turned out to be a surprise landslide for the bad guys (in my opinion). Today I am eating a whole lot. I JUST finished eating a meatball panino at my desk at stupid work and a big, meaty, juicy, marinara-covered meatball fell onto my shirt, bounced off my boob, and landed on the ground underneath my desk. What a day. I almost ate the floor meatball, but realized they never really clean around here. Maybe I should stop being such a princess and shampoo my own cubicle carpet.

  5. I’m trying to get everything done before I leave tomorrow! But there is so much to do! I think I have to pull an all-nighter so I can get all my school work done in advance, so I ain’t gotta worry about it on vacation. Anybody want to help? And by help, I mean do it for me.

    • Maybe someone could just tell me what I should have for lunch? Any help at all would be appreciated here, people!

        • I feel like if I’m going to have something with cheese, I’m going to want that cheese to be melted.

          • I don’t feel like my help is appreciated, facetaco. You lied!!!!!

          • Your help is TOTES appreciated! Now I had to think about the Chipotle, and determine what it was about it that did not sound appealing! I’ve narrowed my options significantly thanks to your contribution! And now it’s narrowed more, because I decided on Subway. This was partly because of the previous discussion of meatball sandwiches, and also because it’s close to work and I don’t want to go very far.

          • OK, fine. Say hi to Jared for me.

          • YESSSSS to the mozzarella sticks, and NOOOOO to saying hi to Jared. I hate that fuckin’ guy. He ruined the name for all of us! My name isn’t even spelled the same, but anytime somebody hears my name, they fuckin’ always have to say something about either Subway or that goddamn jewelry store, like maybe they’re the first people to be so clever and make that fucking joke. Goddamnit.

          • Whoa, sorry, I had no idea factacos even had real names! But now I want to know the spelling. Here are my top 3 guess: 1)Jarryd 2)Geryd 3)Jeridd

          • It’s Jerrad, but you can spell it wrong if you want. Everybody else does! More than 50% of the time, people get it wrong, and that’s even when they’re replying to e-mails and such, where it is literally spelled out correctly right there on the screen.

          • I love that your name has “rad” in it.

          • Ugh, facetaco, that is the most annoying thing (the replying to emails thing)! If I had a nickel for every time somebody spelled my name “Clair” even though it’s written right there (including sometimes people I have worked with for two years or more) I would have enough nickels to put in a bag and beat them all in the face with.

          • Gotta be honest, I’ve never met anybody named Claire (regardless of spelling), but if I did, they would hate me immediately because I would say that’s a fat girl’s name and they wouldn’t get the reference. It’d be just like that time I met a girl named TJ and she got mad because she thought I called her a hooker.

  6. Randomly got way too drunk with my wife last night and am really paying for it at work today. I am going to REALLY pay for it at the cardio/weights class at the gym tonight. I better bring a bucket.

  7. I got to try out Google Glass last week and I was able to take an accidental picture of my thumb. I’ll now allow you 5-10 minutes in which to catch your collective breathes from that funtastic thrill-ride of a tale I just unfolded before you.

  8. I talked to Cute Guy at work and managed not to embarass myself (I think), so my day was good! Crushes, man. They’re the worst AND the best.

  9. Ask me tomorrow after I’ve won the Powerball jackpot!

    • I ran to the gas station to buy the office pool lotto tickets and grabbed a LaffyTaffy for myself, but I held on to the candy too tightly running back so now it’s stuck to the wrapper. I can’t even eat it! So today is not so great, but $360 million will make up for it.

      • You can’t eat it OR see the joke! Talk about a double whammy!

        • The jokes are on the outside; one is good and one is terrible. Here’s the good one. Q:What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer!

          • I REMEMBER THAT JOKE! Which means they have been using that joke for at least 15 years now, because I remember reading it with my cosuin, who got a very similar joke: “Q: What do you call a trunk full of bison? A: a buffaload!” He also had one about what did the lawyer name his daughter, and the wrapper said it was “Penny,” but I think the correct answer should have been “Sue,” because that makes way more sense.

  10. I rode my bike to work today and while I was at a red light, a drunk homeless guy came up and got in my face and was speaking gibberish but then asked if I wanted some beer and pulled a 40 out of his coat and when I said no thanks he pretended to smash it over my head, but here’s the thing…. he had the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen!

  11. I took my dogs for a walk in grant park then I went out for a run in the lakefront. Other than that I’ve just been doing laundry and work. If I had a Google Glass, this is what most of my accidental pics would’ve looked like.

  12. My elbow has been bothering me for the past couple of months, so after many doctors and an MRI, they’ve finally diagnosed me has having a partial tear in one of my tendons. On the one hand, yay for knowing what it is! On the other hand, I can’t box or do any other kind of upper body activity for at least the next month. Plus I have to wear this brace that looks like one of those ipod armbands, but on my forearm. Literally all day every day for the next month. “Could this armband be any cooler?” is what I’m not saying.

    Other than that, I’ve been reading Steph’s book and it’s super fun and great! I also learned a really cool technique for cooking salmon en sous vide without an immersion circulator! Basically, you heat a pot of water to 130F (basically a little warmer than the hottest tap water). Then you portion the salmon and put each filet into a 1Q ziploc bag with a tiny bit of canola oil. Take as much air as you can out of the bag, seal it tightly, then put it in the water and cover. Leave it for 20 minutes. That’s it! The salmon comes out buttery smooth and flaky without anything overcooked! The reason it works is because a pot of water will only drop about 10 degrees in the 20 minutes, which is enough time to cook the fish all the way through to its ideal core temperature of about 118F. I made some last night and it was super great.

    • I finished Steph’s book at work today and can we start this book club already because I want to talk about it guys! Steph, I cried at parts of it and I never cry at anything (other than some episodes of Doctor Who because what am I, made of stone?)!

    • Ahhhh thank you guys! You are all so great, and I just want to hug you and hug you until you know how thankful I am. fatima, I have had a few people tell me they cried, which has been kind of nice to hear! I am made of stone, so I only cry at like, the Hey Arnold Christmas special.

      Lawblog that sounds like sous vide salmon. My parents took me and gentlemansteph to a nice restaurant one time and he got sous vide salmon and just thought it was the best thing ever. It’s been like two years since this meal and he will still occasionally grumble (jokingly, of course) that I won’t make him sous vide salmon.

      H-Man – not to toot my own horn TOO much, but the book is called Follow Her Home.

  13. I ate SO MUCH cereal. Yogurt Burst Cheerios — I don’t hate you! You’re sort of OK. A little sweet, though.

    I also had a short story rejected with a form letter, breaking a winning streak.

    And I broke my rule of not angry commenting/correcting people in comment threads and ended up feeling no satisfaction or happiness as a result, which was why I have the rule in the first place. Arguing on the internet is one of my dumbest habits that I’m trying to break for good.

    • WTF IS WRONG WTIH U??????? Arguing on the internet is the best habit. Come over and fight me, brah. I’ve already called the cops.

    • It is SO HARD not to internet-fight with dummies sometimes! The one time I broke down and commented on a Youtube video was because someone was trying very hard to argue that the song Semi-Charmed Life is not about drugs. UMM THE SONG SPECIFICALLY REFERENCES CRYSTAL METH DUDE!

    • Ok. Story time. My friend, who we’ll call “Roger Sterling,” has en email account “” A few months ago he started getting all of these weird emails addressed to “Roger Sterling” for like hentai porn and NRA memberships and stuff like that. Eventually he found out that there’s another “Roger Sterling” with the adress “” And I guess sometimes he puts a period when he signs up for stuff because he’s the kind of guy who goes for hentai and guns. Anyway, last week, my friend gets an email that says, basically, “Hah! I found you, you fucker! You think you can threaten me online? Well guess what, I know who you are and where you live, asshole!” My friend responded that he was not who he thought he was, but the guy was having none of it. He basically said he called the “Brooklyn Police” and Roger’s job saying that their employee made “terroristic threats.” Long story short, he didn’t call his job, and after many emails Roger was able to sort of convince the crazy guy about the other Roger Sterling. The guy closed with this: “I contacted my local police department, wouldn’t make sense for brooklyn, even though i may have implied so. I am going no further with this as I have done all I can and it is truly a waste of time. If you are the guy I’m sure it will come out it due time. If you aren’t, then so sorry to bother you… Either way, I like your pretty cat pictures though!”

      tl;dr Stay safe, you guys!

      • “Fun” fact: periods are totally ignored by gmail. Try logging into your gmail account with no periods or extra periods all over the place; it still brings you to the same email account. (*Note: not doubting the story. It was prob “rogersterling1@gmail” or something. It’s just that I just found this out and now I throw periods all over the place willy nilly like a madman when I log into my gmail because my life is exciting and I am an interesting human being)

      • So my husband has the same name as some middle aged sports fisherman, and they are always battling for emails and such. My husband now just randomly signs up for any new technology, just to get his name locked in. The one time he fell down on the job though was twitter, and now this dude is tweeting all the time about fish and boats under my husbands name.

  14. Serious question. Will there be a plague of accidental dick pics when Google Glasses become ubiquitous? Imagine: you’re a man, standing at the urinal, you blink on the wrong icon as you pee. Ooops.

    OK, not SERIOUS question. But a maybe sort of legitimate question.

  15. i have about a month’s worth of studying to do for my deductive logic midterm tomorrow, but i also have a big stack of unread comic books sitting on my coffee table, so it could really go either way at this point.

  16. Ugh, not a great day, friends. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a really great job that I was perfectly qualified for on LinkedIn. What really made it special was that one of my good friends worked for the hiring company, and for once in my life I had a connection to an advertised position. I told her about it, and she told me to hold off sending them my resume. She would send a referral along with my information, and that would serve as my application. Well, over the course of 2 weeks, I asked her every few days about the status, and everytime she promised to get to it once she could. Today she finally got around to it, and lo and behold, the company was no longer accepting applications for the position. I know I wasn’t guaranteed the position, but I didn’t even get a shot at it because she decided to fucking sit on it rather than take the 10-15 minutes to do the referral.

    If that wasn’t enough, I signed on to Google+ for the first time ages to add some people back to my circles. Once I was done, I was taken to the suggestions page. And who was the first G+ suggested? Why none other than my ex-girlfriend, who ripped my still beating heart out of my chest, and who I had finally gotten over a few months ago! And her new profile pic? Oh, it’s her and her new boyfriend, smiling it up. Man, let me tell you about the great feeling that came over me.

    Sorry guys, it’s just not a very planet day for me.

  17. Today has been good! My boss was out of the office so I didn’t have her breathing down my neck about a presentation tomorrow. Instead, I got all my shit done with an hour to spare.

    Tonight I have an okcupid date thing, which should be fine? I guess? Dates are weird.

    Then tomorrow is a 10 hour workday followed by seeing the Shout Out Louds. Then I get to go see Star Trek Friday and Foals Saturday. Pretty effing busy weekend. I am excited.

  18. Pretty good day, actually. No one has really hassled me at work or anything. Set up a date for tomorrow night (sorry, old man fatima), and it’s a really nice day outside. Summer seems to have finally arrived in Chicago. But my day will get much better shortly because Telekinesis is playing tonight at Lincoln Hall. Then tomorrow there will be free pizza at work, followed by the aforementioned date, then back to Lincoln Hall for the Thermals!!! I really love the Thermals, you guys.

  19. Coffee, donuts, more coffee, tacos, chips, even more coffee.

  20. For the first time in a while I can say that my day has been TOTALLY FINE. Like, not especially good or anything, but work has finally calmed down and I no longer am spending whole days fantasizing about drinking all of the wine and/or jumping off something very tall. And that alone is worth celebrating.

    One thing that was good about today was that my cubicle neighbor was reading my latest blog entry and laughing a lot and quoting my own words back to me as though they were actually worthwhile pieces of writing from a real blog (not that I think they’re not, in fact I am rather fond of my own blog, but it’s weird when other people like your stuff, you know?).

    AND on the topic of Google Glass. I don’t know much about it, but it seems like it will be terrible? Like, already people can’t tear their faces away from their GD phones when they’re walking in public places and I can only imagine how much less attention people will be paying to their surroundings with these things on.

    • The thing that creeps me out about them is that they record everything. If I am headed out for a loaf of bread at 9am after a night of drinking, still in my pjs with my hair in the braid I slept with it in, or if an errant gust of wind blows my skirt up and I am wearing naughty underoos, I do not want this to be captured on some assholes google glasses for all of eternity.

  21. I went to a Toastmasters meeting where I likened the British monarchy to an appendix; it used to be useful, but now it’s just a big sack of poison.

  22. My day kinda sucked. My friends got accepted to grad school and I got rejected. I feel like Sam in Lord of the Rings when he finds out his adventure’s over while his friend gets to carry on and then at the end I find out I was really Gollum and I just die at the end. Sorry for a dumb whiny comment that is complaining about things that aren’t really that bad. Also, sorry for spoiling the end on The Lord of the Rings.

  23. My computer broke again yesterday, and I got a loaner today. The setting it up process has been frustrating, but allowed me time out of the house to buy dirt and play in that dirt. I believe the technical term is gardening, but my version is a lot closer to the truth.

  24. I am all moved in to my new place! I just need to hang pictures, which is not the easiest thing apparently (plaster walls are a cruel mistress). And for the first time in like 2 weeks, I get to just do nothing tonight and relax, which is awesome.

    • French nails. They go right through plaster and they come with little hooks that can hold weight. Take it from me, I used to work in a museum and this was our go to hanging style. They just make little holes in the wall and won’t screw up the plaster. You can get them at lowe’s/home depot too. Sometimes they’re labeled as “picture hanging” nails.

  25. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. This day. This fucking day! I took the ill-advised step of asking someone out AGAINST ALL REASON AND SENSE and it went precisely as well as I should have known it would. I know I’m only a lurker here, but I would really appreciate it if all the Monsters could pass the hat to help buy me a one way ticket off-world so I never have to run into this person again. Thanks in advance and God bless.

  26. Today was great but exhausting! I had three programs at work today, and they all were a lot of fun! In my afternoon program, we made soda bottle terrariums, dirt pudding with oreos and gummy worms, and marshmallow shooters with balloons and cups. I had as much fun planning and making the activities as the kids. I received two advance copies of books today and I can’t wait to read them. And finally, I met someone named Hootie, which was just the icing on the cake.

  27. I think im getting a sinus infection, but I AM working from home so I’m still in my PJs which is nice.

  28. Things are looking up, I just earned one martini by putting together a shoe rack.

  29. I just got back from seeing Gatsby and I cannot find a gif that accurately displays just how much I loved it. The framing part was weirdo, but otherwise I thought that everything that was wrong with it was the same stuff that sucked about the book (that I read 15 years ago, so who knows). But it was a very enjoyable romp that I thought accurately portrayed the way I always imagined the 20s to be. Leo was super fine, Carey Mulligan was actually pretty good as an annoying character, and I was very excited to see the father from my favorite Bollywood movie as Whatshisface. If you do not really care for the book but like looking at pretty things and listening to hip-hop and sometimes feeling dizzy, I think you should see this movie!!!

    Feel free to keep redoing classic works of literature that I have a passing knowledge of and do not really care for, Baz! Perhaps you’ll make me like Hemingway!

  30. Today was good! I left the house to meet a friend around 2, then we ended up getting drinks with another friend, so I just got home a little bit ago after a full day of beer and socializing. I’m actually getting drinks with people every day this week, which is kind of nice and also like, man, I could really get used to this unemployment thing if someone would pay me for it, you know?

    I’m reading The Flamethrowers by Rachel Kushner, and I didn’t think I was into it, but now that I’m 70 pages in, it’s picking up and I’m open to being enthralled. I’m also a quarter of the way through Gravity’s Rainbow, which I’m reading (with amy wins again! and SUPPOSEDLY hotspur, but where were you yesterday, man?) for a book club, and it’s super great, obviously. I read it in college but I don’t remember very much beyond the twisted sex stuff.

  31. Well my day was going fine until Videogum swallowed a long comment I wrote about how my day was going :( .

  32. Late to the game, I know. My week’s been pretty awesome! I got my grades, and it looks like I’m still in graduate school! Plus I saw Star Trek tonight and it was great! I’m still reading “The Diamond Age” and I really like it, and hope to finish this week. So I guess things are staying the course!

  33. We’ve moved into our new house and as long as I avoid the basement with the creepy dungeon at all costs then everything is fine. Still no tv or internet, so it’s getting super boring. Things take so long here, it will be 2 more weeks till we get internet in the house!

    Also, I’m super tired this morning cause I stayed up way way too late reading Steph’s book. It’s really good y’all! It’s the first book I’ve actually had a chance to read since having my kid last year and it’s definitely a good first book back.

    • We should compare basement dungeons. Do our own little “ghost hunter” shows and see which one gets the most v-gum points (upvotes).

      • I think yours would definitely win! I don’t have any creepy chains or crucifixes or anything. Seriously, the crucifix thing really really freaks me out. I feel like there could be other explanations for all the other weird stuff going on in your dungeon, but not for that. I have an overactive imagination and I don’t think I could live there.

  34. I finished and emailed my miserable paper. All this worrying about it made me sick for the past couple of days. So tonight I will be going to a party at bar and drink and be happy and shoot darts and celebrate not having to sit in a physical classroom until September. Also, I will be bringing my textbook back for a refund because it is no longer welcome in my house.

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