Obviously, when it was reported that Werner Herzog would be “remaking” Bad Lieutenant with Nicolas Cage a lot of derisive comments and snide jokes were made. Of course! This is the internet! Would you ask the sun not to post pictures of Nicolas Cage with a hawk on his head when it is reported that Werner Herzog is remaking Bad Lieutenant? Would you ask the rain not to cast Bill Hader in a parody web video when it is reported that Werner Herzog is remaking Bad Lieutenant? But that was all just reactionary fun, because at the time it seemed like a pointless exercise with no discernible motivation. No one actually thought the movie was going to be a straight up fucking joke. Bad Lieutenant: New Orleans Port Of Call trailer after the jump, you guys. You might want to keep one of these handy.
HAHAHAHA. Whoops, that exists. Unbelievable. It’s a comedy? About a cop who learned how to do cocaine by watching cartoons? They handed Nicolas Cage a bag of prop cocaine and he was like “what the fuck is this?” And they were like “this is your prop cocaine, Mr. Cage, it’s completely safe” and he was like “well where am I supposed to do it? Where’s the anvil?” Then he started humming an Elvis song because OF COURSE HE DID.
I was just kidding you guys, this doesn’t exist. Lots Of Love, what a great joke we just had. Obviously this can’t exist, and so Occam’s razor dictates that it doesn’t. (Occam’s Razor is the theory that you cannot seriously be fucking kidding me with this.)