As you may know, Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham recently filmed a sex tape with porn/The Canyons star James Deen, and a few days ago it was released by the same company that released Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. In those few days it has made a ton of money. (Apparently.) (That’s what people are saying.) (I haven’t seen any of the documents but I’m going to TRUST.) Okay! I hope she uses the money to create a better, much more private, and much more protected life for her baby. Hope hope hope! HOPING’S FREE, DOESN’T COST A THING! I don’t know too much about Farrah, or at least I try not to, but from what I know her life has been a sad nightmare ever since she entered the MTV Horror-Reality public spotlight. Something about her mom? Definitely something about her mom, and I’m pretty sure something about some surgeries and something more about not having any money and 100% something about how the child she has was not born into a great environment. It’s sad and it’s all in public and the world is a vampire, and all of that is made clearer than necessary in Farrah’s recent appearance on Entertainment Tonight. My goodness. Just to give you a taste, when asked why she made the sex tape she answered, “I have no relationships and I’m, like, sad sometimes. So, taking all this into consideration…that’s what brought me here today.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! With this knowledge you can decide for yourself either to watch her interview with Entertainment Tonight OR ignore it completely and talk about what you’re having for lunch today! The world is sad enough when you DON’T include post-reality show young mothers and their depressing lives and sex tapes! YOU BE THE JUDGE!

I HAD TOMATO SOUP. (Via Gawker.)

Comments (75)
  1. I just skipped over this entire article because it would likely make me sick, and I just had a fabulous meal of stir-fried tofu, greens, and vegan pesto. YUM!

    • 1. Yes, same

      2. A salad with mixed greens, homemade raspberry vinaigrette, and walnuts, and some yogurt with chia seeds! We were so healthy today! Go us!

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  2. Buffalo chicken pizza or “buff chick za” as my coworker called it becuz he is kewl.

  3. I had a salad with some veggies, little bit of bacon, little bit of cheese, and a bison burger patty. It was DELICIOUS!

  4. I’m having a turkey slice, one over-easy egg, half a perfectly ripe avocado, one small diced tomato, and a little brown rice. All in one bowl of awesome. And i am not clicking that video.

  5. In the spirit of the article, I had a whole wheat pizza with anchovy paste, mozz and ricotta that was SUPPOSED to be private, but on my way back from the kitchen, everyone smelled it, and said, that looks good!

  6. I have started replacing cheese with an entire avocado in all of my sandwiches, and it’s made my world a better place.

  7. I had leftover chicken noodle soup that I accidentally made into chicken noodle pasta with soup sauce. Damn my inability to determine how many noodles are too many!

    It was good, but there were too many noodles. Tis my white whale.

    Also, yeah, not gonna click that video. Nothing personal, Kelly! You’re still the best!

  8. I had a Lunchable because being 27 can go straight to hell.

  9. Lunch aside, this story seems to be about people making great life choices!

  10. I got a spinach salad from the deli next door.

    See, I’ve been getting their veggie sandwich 3 days a week for the last two years, and it was so so good. But they started putting green olives on it recently, which makes it gross. Just olive juice everywhere. So ask for it without olives, right? BUT I was ALREADY getting it on a different bread and with a different sauce than it normally comes with, and I’m just too embarrassed to add another special substitution to the order.

    So… a salad.

  11. I had home-made pad thai with marinated tofu, veggies, snow crab, and a shit ton of lime and peanuts. I also had an orange and have some berries and nuts for later.

  12. I had a PB&J all lined up, and then someone was like, “FREE PIZZA IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM!” So I had pizza.

    Also, not to be a broken record, but I had also bought a snack pack of Cheez-Its, and while I was eating them all I could think was, “These are not Better Cheddars.”

  13. I had a mentoring lunch today with my mentee, which means the firm picks up the tab. That being the case, we went to our normal mentoring lunch place, chef Rick Bayless’ Frontera Grill. It doesn’t get much better than free Frontera. Also, there was little to no mentoring done at this lunch.

  14. Ugh, you guys, my head’s in a yogurt cup today and all I had for lunch was some flaming hot cheetos and a red bull. I’ll see myself out. :(

  15. Everyone’s lunches sound great, even the ones designed for overweight 8 year old boys!

    My lunch was whatever “treats” people brought to a coworker’s workplace bridal shower, which is apparently some bullshit that happens now, so I ate a little bit of enchilada casserole, 200 chips with 6 different dips, a slice of disappointing chocolate cake (has anyone ever had chocolate cake that wasn’t disappointing?) and maybe 8 baby carrots. Oh also I ate an entire cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera WITH cream cheese this morning because I’m not ashamed of my choices at all.

  16. I had a buffalo chicken sandwich. I didn’t eat dinner last night so I ate it too fast. Now I’m this close from passing out at my desk.

  17. I had Chipotle because I thought that was the law.

  18. James Deen’s business card is blank except for:

    @JamesDeen

    /The Canyons Star

  19. I’m very stressed out today, so after no breakfast I had a Klondike Krunch bar at noon. Not a good day.

  20. I had a delicious Banh Mi sandwich because I went out for lunch with a friend whose office just moved down the street. LUNCH BUDDY.

  21. I think it’s quaint that we still call them sex ‘tapes.’

  22. “I hope she uses the money to create a better, much more private, and much more protected life for her baby.”

    That’s a nice dream, but considering they were forced by the courts to reveal their salaries once, and they all make more than me, yet they’re willing to live in poverty because it’s better television, I don’t see it happening.

  23. I find preparing/procuring real food way too much hassle for something you have to do three entire times every day, so I am having the usual: a Clif bar. I did get some iced tea too though which is adding some pizazz.

  24. Grilled cheese w/ bacon. And some Brussels sprouts. Oh yeah. Keeping it healthy.

  25. This is gross, but I had this weird thing happen at lunch today where there were little bugs all over, well, not all over, but definitely in my food (#organic) (I was eating outside) (but, also, idk? where did they come from?!) So, I dramatically threw my food away, container and all, lit the trash can that contained the food on fire, rinsed my mouth out with gasoline then came back in to work.

    Basically, what I’m saying is, this thread is really helping me! I’m going to go order whatever you guys had. thx

  26. Today I had a healthy-ish burrito that I assembled at my desk: cuban black bean dip, quinoa, avocado, butter lettuce. It sort of makes up for the fact that last night my dinner was two slices of watermelon and a bunch of cashews.

    I don’t recommend making a burrito at your desk unless you’re prepared to get some disapproving looks from your coworkers, though.

  27. I skipped lunch today so I would have room for the five-course Indian food cooking class my wife and I are taking tonight. Woo hoo!

  28. I had a pear, but I’m going to have a ridiculous dinner.

  29. Steak. Two eggs. And an entire cucumber.

  30. a tray of bagel bites

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