In the future, everyone’s major and minor life events will be documented on the Internet. They’ll say to their wives, “Oh hey, did I ever show you the time my parents found out I got into college? It was 30 Rock themed, hold on let me bring it up.” They’ll say to their children, “Do you want to see how mommy and daddy got engaged? Daddy got all of Mommy and Daddy’s friends and family to half-heartedly learn a song and dance from Pitch Perfect, which was a movie Mommy kind of liked at the time, and performed it at the mall while mommy was shopping. It was beautiful, let’s watch together.” “OMG I love that video of when you got braces and your parents sang that embarrassing song at you in the car. Hahahaha, it’s the best let’s watch it again and then we can watch mine.” Some will say that it’s beautiful how we relive these moments whenever we want and share them with those who weren’t around when they happened, others will say uh, no, screw you, most of these moments wouldn’t have happened if YouTube didn’t exist anyway, you’re choreographing your real life and the real lives of those around you for an audience of strangers in the desperate hope that, if only for a day, they will know you exist. This teenager proposing himself as a prom date with an inexplicable Pokemon theme didn’t create the problem, BUT HE IS FOR SURE !00% MAKING IT WORSE FOR NO GOOD REASON, LIKE, YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO PLAN ANY KIND OF PROM PROPOSAL, WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!!

Good thing every single one of those kids has a camera on their phone to film this beautiful memory. Plz send all of the videos straight to the hole in my backyard where I have buried myself alive. Just stick them in the dirt — I’ll find them eventually. (Via Geekologie.)

Comments (28)
  1. Did you guys have large/public invitations to prom or other dances? That was a really big deal at my school. The cheerleaders would ask dudes to the “lady asks” dances with these GIANT signs and I always wondered where they got that large paper. It was always very elaborate and pretty annoying.

  2. These kids are going to have a total Blastoise at the prom.

  3. I don’t know. Generally, I agree with the sentiment, but I actually feel better seeing documentation of a dude named Terry dressed up in pokemon costume being hailed publicly as a hero in a High School and getting the girl, rather than having his head stuffed in a toilet. UNLESS…is this in Canada?

    • When I was in junior high, there was an awkward, pale, fat kid who some of the popular kids adopted for a few moments’ entertainment. I’m not sure he ever got this, and it always seemed very mean even though they were outwardly encouraging when he, oh, RAPPED about girls he liked. I hope this Pokemon master is actually beloved and not just the butt of a schoolwide joke that everyone understands but him.

      • Oooof. That does seem like a really plausable underbelly to this tale.

      • I think I used to work with that guy! At least, that sounds like the guy I worked with. He rapped a lot, but every single rap was about anal sex. Last I heard, he was working as a janitor in a strip club.

        Also, that guy is like 50 by now. Did you go to junior high in the 70s?

  4. Pokemon is still a hit with the youngins?

  5. Not to brag, but I set the bar preeeety high back in my day when I asked a girl I like to the prom.

    First, I asked all my friends for intel on the odds on whether or not she’s say yes, thereby any element of surprise. Then, for about 2 weeks, I obssed over asking her, dying 10,000 deaths as I ran every scenario in my head.

    Then, the fateful day, I sweated through my shirt and nervously stammered out some semblance of English which the girl in question somehow intuited to be a request to go to the prom and — either because she didn’t take her pills that day, was completing an elaborate dare or was just a genuinely nice person who realized that this was me doing my level-best — said yes.

    At which point, I dashed to the bathroom to stress vomit.

    Smooth as glass, FLW. Smooth as glass.

  6. I guess this is fine? But girl, don’t let this guy in your house until after you’ve changed into your prom dress, okay? Otherwise, he might pikachu.

    • Something tells me when we finally reach the planet punalicious-635 after many parsecs of intergalactic travel, and when the earliest, grainy photos of its swirling vortex of delicious puns are returned from the exploratory satellites, you’ll just be able to make out the shape of a face, made from what appears to be unorthodox taco fixins.

      • Everything is unorthodox, until it isn’t. You think people took to fish tacos right away? Trust me, cauliflower tacos will have their day!

  7. I never wanted to go to prom because I thought it was stupid and wasteful. But my idiot friends peer pressured me into going because MEMORIES so I used it as an excuse to get this really awesome brown silk slip dress (in 1994 a very daring choice) and ask this stoner kid that looked like Sideshow Bob. He gave me sunflowers, which looked amazing with the dress. But because I was a loud boorish angry feminist who hated everything about where I grew up, etc. etc. showing off that I cleaned up nice was kind of fun. And I got a lot of mileage out of that dress, which didn’t look like a prom dress at all and was wearable to fancy college stuff. But getting sunflowers as prom flowers was a pretty cool move by that guy… Good job, dude.

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