Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hello kelly
Kelly: How are you doing?
Gabe: ok, i guess
Gabe: i’m doing ok
Kelly: Aw. Why just ok?
Kelly: Was your kale juice a little gritty this morning
Gabe: it’s gritty every morning
Gabe: it’s kale juice
Kelly: Sounds like someone needs a new juice spot
Gabe: i just make mine at home
Gabe: some of us can’t afford to go to a “juice spot”
Kelly: Uhh some of us can’t afford juicers and pounds of kale, GABE.
Gabe: i don’t have a juicer
Gabe: i just tear up the kale by hand
Gabe: and sprinkle it into a glass of water
Kelly: The saddest story ever told.
Gabe: I’mma live forever tho
Kelly: That’s tru
Kelly: Well what if I told you I had a clip from a reality show from three years ago that would turn your frown upside down?
Kelly: Would you want to see it?
Gabe: WOULD I?
Gabe: would i?
Kelly: You would, U GOTTA TRUST ME ON THIS ONE GABE
Gabe: please hold
Gabe: this is a pretty important clip
Gabe: thx 3 sending
Kelly: It is the perfect clip
Gabe: has the president seen this?!
Gabe: MR. PRESIDENT, WE HAVE REPORTS OF A CLIP
Kelly: If the president has seen it I’m upset with him for not making a mandate
Kelly: That forced everyone else to watch it
Kelly: Because there is no reason that today is the first day that both of us are seeing this perfect gem
Gabe: yeah, i am confused
Gabe: how have i never seen this before?
Gabe: what is it from?
Kelly: It’s from the show Pretty Wild that existed for one season on E! and starred Alexis Neiers
Kelly: who is portrayed by Emma Watson in The Bling Ring
Gabe: hold on
Gabe: the consequences of robbing people’s houses
Gabe: was that those girls jsut got their own TV show?
Kelly: Uh yeah doy
Gabe: right, no, ok, sorry
Gabe: i almost forgot that these colors don’t run for a second
Gabe: but you reminded me
Kelly: Uh Yeahibus Doyum
Gabe: i hope the mom is in The Bling Ring
Gabe: she seems like a fun character
Kelly: The mom is a BEEAAAUUUTIFUL character and yes it will be a major disappointment if she is not included
Gabe: and i hope the tagline of The Bling Ring is “29 DOLLARS!”
Gabe: do you think that lying sack of shit journalist
Gabe: who doesn’t know the difference between six inch laboutins and four inche bebes
Gabe: when she got this voicemail
Gabe: immediately called her publisher and asked him to stop the presses
Gabe: and then posted a correction
Gabe: to the piece
Gabe: that pointed out that in fact
Gabe: Alexis is a very beautiful and talented and healthy girl not even girl young woman?
Kelly: Yes I do think that
Kelly: Unfortunately I think it was too late to stop the presses, but I DO think that she still regrets it
Kelly: And retired from journalism soon after
Gabe: it’s crazy how much all of those words apply to her
Gabe: and how brave she was
Gabe: to open up to the journalist
Gabe: to let the world know
Gabe: that she’s talented
Kelly: GREAT AMAZING talented
Kelly: Imagine how all of the young girls who picked up the story about the young girl who robbed a bunch of houses felt
Kelly: When they realized she wasn’t the role model they’d previously known her to be
Gabe: i found the article btw
Kelly: oh great
Kelly: “A leggy girl with long, dark hair and shimmering blue-green eyes, Neiers was wearing a tweed miniskirt, a pink sweater, and six-inch Christian Louboutin heels. “I have a pretty cool shoe collection going on right now,” she said.”
Gabe: i still don’t know how i knew about the Bling Ring and was excited for the movie but still did not know about what is obviously one of the more important reality shows of our time
Gabe: but i guess it is not for me to understand all of God’s intentions
Gabe: She twerks in mysterious ways LOL boooooooo
Kelly: omg ew
Kelly: that is 2 good
Kelly: This reality show, though
Kelly: Kind of does seem great
Kelly: Because they started it to chronicle her life as a party girl
Kelly: And then ended up chronicling the sentencing of a burglar
Kelly: Like “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart”
Kelly: Except BETTER
Gabe: it’s our generation’s Paula Abdul in that one show
Gabe: i hope Paula Abdul sent Alexis Neiermameir
Gabe: a letter in jail
Gabe: about how if she could survive the Bratz movie
Gabe: Alexis will get through this
Kelly: That would have been a good source of strength, I hope she did too.
Kelly: haha wow this paula abdul clip
Kelly: It’s a good day for clips!
Gabe: oh it is the best
Gabe: when obama became president, bush showed him that clip in the oval office
Gabe: he was briefed on all the clips
Kelly: FOUR INCH BEBE SHOES!!!!
Gabe: you did so good i’m so proud of youuuuu
Kelly: “YOU LIED! YOUU LIIIIIIEED” after the phone was already hung up
Kelly: love it love it love it 29 DOLLARS!
Gabe: the star doesn’t fall far from the star tree
Kelly: EVERY TIME YOU YELL I HAVE TO RE-RECORD IT
Kelly: Every line of this clip is perfect.
Gabe: i hope The Bling Ring
Gabe: includes a recreation of this clip
Kelly: hahahaha uggggh can you imagine
Gabe: uh yeah
Gabe: i can imagine
Gabe: i just imagined
Kelly: The Bling Ring should at the very least
Kelly: Include a recreation of this clip that plays during the credits like a blooper reel
Kelly: If it cannot be included in the actual film
Kelly: That’s my final offer Sophia
Gabe: who’s Sophia?
Gabe: U DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOLLYWOOD IT IZ EMBARRASSING
Kelly: SOFIA PLZ 4GIVE ME & PLZ STILL PUT THE CLIP IN
Gabe: SOFIA PLZ LET THE WORLD SEE THAT ALEXIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED AND HEALTHY
Gabe: BY RECREATING THIS CLIP
Kelly: I AM PETRIFIED OF THIS MOVIE WITHOUT A RECREATION OF THE CLIP SOFIA PETRIFIED
Gabe: EXPECTO PATRONUCLIP (emma watson)