Ah, to be at the wheel of a television network, throwing words at the wall and seeing what falls, and then seeing in what order the words have fallen. Tila Tequila: Inventors Anonymous. Lil Bub’s Dentist Shop. Vanilla Ice Goes Amish. Emma Roberts Party Patrol. Macklemore Does Hair Shopping. World’s Most Scariest Animal Tattoo Chases. IF ONLY– wait, one of those is real! From The Huffington Post:

“Vanilla Ice Goes Amish” will debut on the network this year. Network executive Burton Jablin says the former rap star will live with an Amish community in Ohio to learn how they do construction. Vanilla Ice already has a renovation series on the network that will return for its fourth season this fall.

Reverend Run of Run DMC will have a series next year starring with his wife and three children as they renovate their home.

Keeping with the music theme, DIY will also feature Daryl Hall next year as he renovates a farmhouse in Connecticut.

What is going on over there at DIY? Someone should check on the DIY good idea machine because it seems to be stuck one this one good idea, and you know that thing has a billion more it could be cranking out! DO NOT SEND VANILLA ICE TO REPAIR IT. Until it gets fixed, all we can do is rely on the original “good idea machine” to help the DIY network out of their jam — OUR OWN STUPID BRAINS! So. Here are some more words for DIY/the world to think about putting on TV!

  • Vincent Gallo’s Gift Shop
  • Micky Mouse Bull$%!& Hour
  • Courtney Stodden Crafts From “Home”
  • E! Network Goes VH1 on the DIY Network: T.I. 
  • Art Art ART ART ART AR TART ARTARTARTRTA
  • Big Country’s Big Country House
  • Alexis Neiers Punk Attack
  • Mission Brad Pitt Lookalike 
  • Stacey London Goes Chef
  • Danzig Planner: Dog Watch
UGH, I LOVE TV!
Comments (15)
  1. My friends and I have an ongoing joke about a fake reality TV show called “Celebrity Wander the Earth” in which contestants compete to win each others houses in an elimination style competition (all of the challenges are home-improvement themed). The winner takes all the houses, all the losers are cursed with becoming permanently homeless, never to seek shelter again.

    So, um, that idea!

  2. vincent kartheiser’s fight club

  3. C.C. DeVille Checks Out Sinks

  4. Keanu and Jackie’s Panda Jamboree

  5. Ghost Riding With Elle Fanning

  6. Sorority Grammar Club

  7. Bread Maker Magic with Jason Priestley

  8. “Vin Diesel: Lasagna Don”

    Like Cake Boss, but with Vin Diesel and lasagna instead of cake.
    Don’t pretend this wouldn’t be instantly watchable.

  9. “I, Aaron, Take You, Blogger”

    A reality show in which bloggers compete for Aaron Paul’s hand in marriage. Good luck, Kelly!

  10. Gary Oldman’s Steampunk Tea Shoppe

  11. “Celebrity Dog Houses”
    “Vajazzled”

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