As someone who went to Catholic school for most of her childhood, and as someone who during first and second grade had to go to church every morning before school began, I’d like to say: STEAL THAT CAR, KID!* CHURCH IS HELLA BORING AND SOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOONG! YOU’RE A GOOD ENOUGH DRIVER, JUST TAKE THE THING, DRIVE HOME, AND WATCH CARTOONS! (Thanks for the tip, werttrew!)

*DO IT!**
**Ugh, fine don’t do it. Be safe.
Comments (16)
  1. I had really vivid recurring dreams of stealing a car and crashing it when I was like five, one time I even apologized to my parents in the morning for stealing my mom’s minivan and running it straight into a tree

  2. I believe he was co-piloting and he actually had Jesus take the wheel.

  3. How does a 7-year old reach both the pedal and the steering wheel? I’m guessing Papa Heene had a hand in this.

  4. I love that whoever called the police on him wasn’t suspicious until he ran a stop sign.

  5. That foot-chase was spectacular.

  6. If there was audio, you could hear him yelling “Five-Oh, Five-Oh!” as he runs toward the house.

  7. Forgive us our grand theft autos, as we forgive those who grand theft auto against us.

  8. One time when I was like maybe 7 years old, during Hebrew School, I threw a chair because I didn’t want anyone telling me how to live my damn life.

    So, that’s close, right?

  9. This kid is in for some Grand Theft Auto-da-fé

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.