We both said and did a lot of things that we didn’t mean. No, no — I know that this isn’t my fault, believe me, hah-hah, but I do want you to know that I know I’m human, just like anyone, and I know I’ve made my mistakes too. I’ve passed judgement, I haven’t given certain things a fair chance. Relationships, even those between filmmakers and the public, are a two-way street, as they say, and I could have been better. But I don’t want to distract from the point of everything here. You brought us here to apologize, and you should be able to do that without interruption from me. I’m looking forward to a fresh start and a clean slate as much as you are. So, please, go ahead. From the Miami Herald, via Vulture:

“I will apologize for Armageddon, because we had to do the whole movie in 16 weeks. It was a massive undertaking. That was not fair to the movie. I would redo the entire third act if I could. But the studio literally took the movie away from us. It was terrible. My visual effects supervisor had a nervous breakdown, so I had to be in charge of that. I called James Cameron and asked ‘What do you do when you’re doing all the effects yourself?’ But the movie did fine.”

Ahh…ohhh. Ok. So. Is that it? Hah. Ok, I thought you were maybe going to have more to say, but…No? Huh. So that’s it then, just the Armageddon thing, about the studio. Well, ok. No — no, that’s fine. It’s whatever. I just thought you were going to have more things to say but I guess you don’t, so whatever, it’s fine. Yeah, it’s fine. Just drop it.

Comments (30)
  1. So radio silence on Pearl Harbor, huh? I mean, if you’re going to apologize for anything in your filmography, that seems the logical place to start.

    • Yeah, I mean, I was only 12 when I saw Armageddon but it didn’t seem that terrible to me? I’m happy to accept any apology Mr. Bay wants to offer but he has committed greater cinematic sins.

      • I love that movie. Of all his work, it might be my favorite. Maybe just apologize for the gratuitous Aerosmith songs and throw in some other metal and I won’t demand a written apology for all the Victoria’s Secret fashion shows and commercials. Or the Transformers franchise.

  2. “The level of explosions per second I wanted caused my visual effects supervisor to have a nervous breakdown.”

  3. In other news, George Lucas apologizes for the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi.

  4. I think what would really mean something is a general apology for his entire career without specifics. Something to the tune of “everything I’ve ever done has been bad and a slight on the potential greatness of Hollywood, film as an art form, and the future of the medium.”

    • “Also Shia Labeouf. I am just so sorry for putting him in movies and boosting his fame and bringing this horror upon all of us.”

      • Yes to this! I remember a time before I knew about Shia LeBeouf. Colors were clearer, the sky was bluer. Those were wonderful times.

    • Hey hey, I have no beef with his work as a production assistant on Night Court. That was solid work. He always put the right amount of cream in everyone’s coffee.

  5. A lot of people won’t get no 17th week tonight
    A lot of people won’t get no effects support tonight
    The third act is getting longer
    No chance for sequel, Armageddon Time.

  6. I’ve always said that if Armageddon had any flaws at all, it was a weak third act.

  7. I haven’t seen Armageddon, but I want him to apologize for inserting the word into ordinary conversation.

    • That’s the one where with the Aerosmith song? Yeah, I need an apology for that as well.

    • It actually came up in an ordinary conversation this weekend. A friend and I were trying to decide what the last great “action” movie was. We weren’t sure (although Terminator 2 came up a lot), but we did conclude that “Independence Day” was the straw that broke the camel’s back and begat baldfaced self parodies of the form like “Armageddon.”

  8. I would love to see a list of all the excuses that people have come up with to quit working with Michael Bay. In my mind, they didn’t just tell him the excuse and go about their lives, they followed through the realistic consequences

    - Nervous breakdown
    - Going into rehab
    - Divorce
    - Death in the family
    - Fell off a cliffside while hiking and broke both legs
    - Moving to Tehran

  9. Maybe he could apologize for the constantly moving camera. And the racism. And the misogyny. And the weak plotting. And the …

    • The great state of masculinity will never apologize for its misogny!

      (I have William H. Macy’s, “The great state of Vermont will never apologize for its cheese!” lodged in my head and must find ways to express it to expel it.)

  10. Armageddon got a Criterion release, so it’s infallible.

  11. General: “Those aren’t ideas, those are special effects!”

    Michael Bay: “I don’t understand the difference.”

    General: “I know you don’t. Get him out of here!”

  12. Confession- Armageddon and Pearl Harbor were my favorite movies when I was in middle school. I can probably still quote the entirety of Pearl Harbor, since I watched it at least once a week. Even now, while the logical part of my brain knows they are terrible, I still love them.

    I’m just going to show myself out now and live as a hermit with my shame.

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