If this was a movie, young A.J. Clemente would come from a hard scrabble family. His father’s out of the picture, and we see a scene in which A.J. comes home to find his mom passed out again on the couch, a half-finished bottle of vodka in her lap. A.J. quietly turns of the television and tucks her in. “I got the job, ma,” he says, knowing she can’t hear him. “I’m gonna be on KFYR.” Then there’s a montage of A.J.’s last normal morning as a civilian, taking a jog through the old neighborhood, everyone saying hello to him and wishing him well. He gets a cup of coffee from his go to coffee place and all the baristas know him by name. This is a lovable guy that you can’t help but root for and everyone’s so excited that this tough kid has persevered long enough to finally get the break that he deserves. A.J. gets to the television studio and it’s like walking into another world. He looks around at all the people shuffling here and there in their shiny clothes, looks of determination on their faces. He’s intimidated by how much everyone seems to be in their element since he feels like such an outsider. Maybe there is a meet cute with another reporter, like she is carrying a big stack of papers and they bump into each other and A.J. apologizes and offers to help her, but she brushes him off and the news assistant who is showing A.J. to his dressing room tells him not to feel bad about it, no one knows what Sarah’s problem is but A.J. realizes that he might finally have met his match. He settles into the make up chair and admits that he’s nervous and the make up lady tells him not to worry about it, that he’s going to do great. A.J. asks if it’s cold in there or if he’s just nervous and someone explains that they keep the AC cranked up because it gets pretty hot under those studio lights, which they promise A.J. will learn soon enough. Because it’s his first day, the clothes don’t quite fit him right, and they have to use alligator clips in the back of his jacket to give it a tighter, cleaner line. He walks out onto the floor feeling miles away from the rest of the world. He hits is mark and takes a deep breath. This is it. All of his life has led him to this one moment. And then he says “Fucking shit” and is immediately fired because this movie is hilarious.

Aww, poor A.J. HOPE FLOATS, MY MAN. Apparently, A.J. was suspended by the station pending review buty has since tweeted that he’s been let go.

As embarrassing of a goof as the cursing is for a professional broadcaster, I would have fired A.J. for flubbing the line about being used to being from the East Coast. What? What was that, A.J.? And what the hell are you even talking about, Van? I know it’s A.J.’s first day but what is your excuse? Pack your bags, everyone is fired! DON’T LET THE WORLD’S WORST BOSS COFFEE MUG HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT! (Via Deadspin. Thanks for the tip, Gideon.)

Comments (30)
  1. As someone from the East Coast, AJ nailed from really how we speak hm I think, well.

  2. I saw this last night and this guy rubbed me the wrong way, not unlike a small time news guy I knew from Bakersfield who literally tried to rub me the wrong way (he did not succeed mostly because he told me that women aren’t funny and could I help him write for Leno*). Gross bro anchors are gross. That’s my point.

    *Couldn’t make that up if I tried.

    • With lines like that, why would he need you to help him write for Leno?

      I’m just realizing now that if all of Leno’s jokes were terrible, awful, no-good jokes about how terrible, awful, no-funny his jokes are, I would watch his show every damn night.

  3. I think if he’d snapped his head up, apologized and laughed self-deprecatingly, and then made eye contact with the camera while introducing himself, he would have kept his job.

  4. Does he say “gay” before “fucking shit”?

  5. Is it just me or was he mutting “Gay” over and over again before letting out the “Fucking shit”?

  6. “Hey AJ, it will all work out. Keep fucking that chicken.” – Ernie Anastos

  7. It would have been the cherry on top if he’d have said “Man” instead of “Van” when addressing his co-host.

  8. Did they fire the person that didn’t put a period after J?

  9. “Fukin shit?”
    “Damnit! Who wrote that on AJ’s cue card! Anything you print on that he reads!!!!”

  10. Wow (s)he looked super nervous.

  11. I cannot stop laughing at his first sentence and the look on his face when he finishes it. He’s all “YEP. THAT WAS A GOOD SENTENCE.” It reminds me of the Miss South Carolina maps flub. Just great, great, nonsense. Top comedy.

  12. If I can keep from swearing in front of my mom he can keep from swearing on TV!

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