At times like these, I think we could all use some new movie trailers. JK. At times like these no one knows what they need, so let’s just throw this at the wall and see if it sticks, though? There are certainly WORSE things you could look at than movie trailers right now. Like CNN.

R.I.P.D.

Wait. Wait! Are you allowed to do this? I mean, this is literally just straight up Men in Black, right? I know that these guys are supposed to be dead and that the Men in Black weren’t dead but also MAYBE THEY WERE? Because this is definitely JUST THE SAME MOVIE THOUGH. Don’t get me wrong: Men in Black is fun, and this looks fun. It just looks the same is all. That’s ALL I’m saying. Also how much longer until they just start making Ryan Reynolds play all of the characters in every comic book movie, Eddie Murphy style?

Byzantium

Fuck vampires. Enough with the vampires. I’m sick of it! I’M OUT!

The Kings of Summer

More coming of age! This looks good, and I have a friend who went to Sundance (not bragging) and said it was “the breakout film of the festival.” But also there has got to be at least ONE other actor in America who can play someone’s dad besides Nick Offerman, no? I love him, but save some of the dads for the rest of us!

Romeo and Juliet

Don’t care. Who cares? If you care about this, you care about stuff no one cares about.

Only God Forgives

I’m not watching this trailer because I already watched a trailer for this movie and I am deeply on board, so why would I watch another trailer? I’m sold! But so I’m sold. You guys? Sold? (See also: Star Trek. No more trailers man!)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

This trailer came out earlier this week and I actually chatted Kelly to tell her that watching the trailers for the Hunger Games movies makes me feel legitimately crazy. This is a movie? For children? When they come out in their costumes with their hair I am like what on Earth? And I have read all three books because I am an adult, so it’s not because I find them confusing. They’re accurate enough to the story. But also the story was kind of ridiculous. I don’t know. Whatever. Good luck, teens. You got a lot of life ahead of you to live!

Man of Steel

This looks good now and I want this very much to be good, but has a Zak Snyder movie ever been good? Then again, maybe all his other movies were just practice and this time he will nail it? Here’s a question, though: how does Superman shave? Like what razor does he use? Mallrats 2.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Again: don’t need more trailers for this, I was already planning on seeing it. People on-line this week seemed to enjoy this trailer. OK. You know what I’m going to enjoy? THE FULL MOVIE. It comes out in a few weeks, what are we, animals? Hush.

Comments (35)
  1. Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead remake was pretty good. It’s been all downhill from there, though.

    • Agreed. I love that movie. I’ve come to learn that Zak Snyder is great at making things Awesome. The other stuff, like emotions? Less so. However, all you need for a great zombie movie is some dope-ass kills and some good scares, which that movie delivers in spades. My hope is that the Nolan involvement will maybe add a touch of character development or something more than sloooooowmoooooosuperfast!

    • Noooo, 300 is terrific. If you don’t like 300, that speaks more to you than to the movie.

      • Yeah I would say Dawn of the Dead and 300 are great little gritty genre movies. It’s impossible to make a good Watchmen movie, but I think Snyder’s version was a noble miss. I have not seen sucker punch because I am not in a pubescent fever dream. What about that owl movie? Anyone see that?

        I agree with Bob, the Nolan factor will make this good. Chris is not about to splash his name across something he didn’t have a hand in (ahem Mr. Tarantino).

      • I upvoted as hard as I could, but only got you back up to -2…I loved 300. I thought the the action sequences were unparalelledly visceral and the unabashed locker-room-homo-eroticism was hilariously awesome. It was pretty much the way to port from a comic book without adding all the movie junk that makes comic book movies not feel like comic books anymore. It took itself seriously int he best way, as an eleven-year-old playing ninja turtles in their back yard: i.e. VERY seriously.

    • uptil I saw the bank draft ov $8459, I have faith that my mom in-law was like trully bringing in money in their spare time at there computar.. there moms best frend has done this less than twenty three months and a short time ago took care of the debts on their home and bourt a gorgeous Lexus LS400. read more at,……. http://ow.ly/kfVBc

  2. Christopher Nolan’s Involvement > Zak Snyder.
    What I’m saying is…anything Nolan does, I’m in.

  3. Haha I love Superman’s smug grin when he replies :

    “It’s not an ‘S’”

  4. They should have just made a movie of Henry Cavill being handsome and scruffy, working on a boat, and skipped the Superman bullshit.

  5. I don’t know what this Romeo & Juliet thinks it can do that the Franco Zeffirelli one didn’t already do. AND DO BETTER.

  6. Gabe’s thoughts on vampires:

    • I’ve told my friend that when she gives her 2 week notice at her job to go out like this!

    • This was me as soon as I saw a promotional stand for Twilight in 2008… ENOUGH ALREADY. PLEASE. Then my boyfriend was all ooooh check out True Blood and I actually almost puked blood… OK before then I was a die hard Anne Rice fan but hey, I can’t go on supporting this LUNACY any longer.

  7. I’m glad to know that someone watched Jeff Bridges in True Grit and immediately wondered if they could bring that character back but maybe as a ghost cop.

  8. Before I watched the trailer for RIPD I was like “What is Gabe talking about Men in Black?” And then I watched it and I was like “Holy shit this is exactly Men in Black”

    • i am totally going to watch agent rooster cogburn & agent ryan reynolds: ghost men in black 3D, though, for real.

    • The one thing I don’t get is in Men In Black, Will Smith was chosen because he managed to successfully chase down some alien that should have been really hard to chase down, which made him one of the best. In this movie, Ryan Reynolds appears to have been chosen because he was involved in what looked like a total fuckup of an operation and allowed some stupid looking punk with a shotgun to get the drop on him, and that makes him one of the best. If you’re one of the greatest lawmen of all time, why are you dead at age 30?

    • I’m just more concerned for the writers of Dead Like Me… I always get narked off when someone steals my idea…

  9. I believe that canonically, Superman shaves by shooting precise little heat vision beams into a mirror made from a scavenged bit of metal from his kryptonian space ship. Now I kind of think that’s awesome, kind of wish I were making it up, and kind of wish I didn’t know the answer, all at the same time.

  10. I do not think Superman is going to be good.

  11. I’m not sure I understand Gabe’s comment on “Catching Fire” – are you confused that it’s for kids because it’s dark? Or is it because you think the movie looks bad? If it is option one, 99% of what I read in middle school was a dystopian story; “Lord of the Flies”, “The Giver”, “The Lottery”, “1984″, “Fahrenheit 451″ – all of them read for school assignments before age 14. That doesn’t even get into novels that are super dark but not dystopian – the “His Dark Materials” trilogy was summer reading, Steinbeck’s “The Pearl” – I dunno, kids are asked to read some thematically heavy stories quite often.

    If you just think it looks bad, well, I won’t be inviting Gabe to be Haymitch in my cosplay group!

  12. Thank you Gabe, for allowing me to gawk at the Star Trek trailer again. It’s exactly what I needed.

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