“I mean, what constitutes a ‘real’ sport? Sports are inherently fabricated — a set of rules and stakes that come completely from the imagination of one person or of a group of people. What makes basketball, a game where you have to bounce a ball up and down until you get to a basket and if you shoot it and make the shot it’s two points but sometimes if you shoot it it’s THREE points? like, if you’re further away?, more understandable than quidditch? What makes hockey, a game where you can have a fist fight with someone ON ICE if you want to while fans punch a plastic barrier, less laughable than a bunch of college students running around a field with brooms between their legs? It’s all make believe, that’s the thing. The stakes doesn’t exist independently of the game — they’re all created for entertainment. And we’re having fun. So why can’t you just respect our sport and respect our sixth annual Quidditch World Cup, which took place last week in Florida? Is it just because our sport is a sport originally played by young wizards in a series of novels for children, and in the fictional game the brooms could actually fly? Where, in our game, we just hold onto them between our legs? And it’s like, uh, if you can’t actually recreate the flying part, maybe you kind of just have to accept that quidditch is not really a sport you can play IRL? IS THAT IT?!” – You

“SILENCIO!” -You (Via LaughingSquid.)

Comments (28)
  1. errrrrrrrrrrr

  2. I always basically considered Quidditch to be flying lacrosse. So this is basically just lacrosse with an increased chance of getting a broomstick stuck in an orifice? Got it.

    • Yeah, this is my issue with the game, I mean, yes, make up any old fun game you want, but a game where you run around with a stick in your crotch? I cringe every time someone even moves in that video.

  3. There’s a park along the bus route I take from Harvard to my apartment where the Harvard Quidditch team practices. It’s right along the river and through some gates that I think are named after JFK and it’s just oh-so Bostony, like a postcard. And you can see the players running around out there in the distance, and tourists and parents will lean toward the windows and say to each other, “Oooh, what are they playing out there?” You can practically SEE the people wondering if it’s some amazing traditional Harvard game or something. And then they’ll see the brooms or some in the know will say, “It’s that Harry Potter game.” And the tourists just don’t know what to say.

    • The Brown team practices in the park near my house, but they never really have enough players to make it look like much fun, I don’t think they made the world cup.

  4. I’m partial to Ultimate Fireball

  5. The fact that they aren’t flying just makes it look like everyone is holding there dong out there.


    This started at Emerson, where I went to college. And they would always play on the common and I’d be like, GET OUT OF MY WAY NERDS I’M TRYING TO DRINK THIS SANGRIA FROM A WATER BOTTLE AND LIE IN THE SUN BETWEEN CLASSES.

    You guys, they took it so damn seriously. Go read a book! That’s not Harry Potter!

    Whatever. WHATEVER.

  7. I went to a medieval fair and the local(?!) quidditch league set up a booth between the vendors for cutesy crowns and swords.

  8. Jeez, guys. Play a real sport, like Crossfit or something.

  9. A lot of sports get respect / taken seriously proportionally to the physical risks involved. This must be the number one nutsack endangering activity on earth…And hugging after a score? You’ll have some fucker’s eye out.

  10. What on earth do they do for the Golden Snitch, which is basically the defining feature of quidditch? (I also think the Golden Snitch made the rest of quidditch seem pretty pointless. I mean I don’t know sports very well, but it seems to me that when you have one small action that is worth more than all the other actions put together, the other actions become meaningless?)

  11. My school won this. I don’t care about any sports, but I DO think it’s funny that our Quidditch team is now better than our famed football team. (They pay that football coach $5 mil a year!)

  12. What’s weird about this as a college phenomenon to me is I would have figured far less prestigious schools would have made this happen (like say, my generic state university) but that is clearly not how it worked out. The only school around here that I know participated is Stanford, who are as snooty as possible.

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