The Bachelor/Bachelorette series is successful in part because it rarely changes. Despite “tweaks” like last night’s 30 men instead of 25, the series is comforting in its predictable cycles of peacocking, jealousy, laughter, tears, ambulances (if it’s The Bachelor) and the inevitable heartbreak of those who will forever remain convinced that they didn’t “open up and show who they really are” enough to leave “the friend zone.” I enjoy the series because my friends and I can literally have an unrelated two-hour conversation with the show on in the background without missing anything. But last night, they introduced (or discovered) a new way to give the show some much-needed suspense: one of the guys has a creepy, over-the-line foot fetish (along with several other disturbing traits), and WE know it, but Jillian the Bachelorette DOES NOT HAVE ANY IDEA:
Tanner P. likes chicken. He watches what he eats. He’s obsessed with feet:
Later in a pre-rose ceremony interview, host Chris Harrison asks Jillian about Tanner with a smile on his face and she says he’s great, clearly not knowing about the foot thing. And then during the rose ceremony, she totally picks Tanner P! He’s coming back! One of my friends thinks he’s totally going to kill her!
And then they show a montage of the upcoming season, with all the balcony-crying and bonding over extreme sports, but this was the shot that made us gasp: Jillian swinging her barefoot legs into the lap of an unseen man while her narration says “I don’t know who to look at, who to trust”:
Don’t trust Tanner P, Jillian! He just wants your feet! I hope Tanner makes it through a few more rounds just because this Little Red Riding Hood shit could actually make this show exciting. (Also, he’s clearly gay.)