“Well, let me start off by asking you this: What function does your girlfriend have, other than that of a human woman? None? None, right — she’s just a human? I don’t mean to come off as agressive right away, but I’m sure you can understand why I feel the need to be a bit protective about my situation. You see, while your girlfriend — sorry to make assumptions about your situation, but just for the sake of argument — while your girlfriend stands beside you on a cold winter’s day, shivering, maybe hinting that she’d like your scarf or your hat because she’s forgotten her own or thought she could forsake them for fashion, my girlfriend is a coat. Yes, she has all of the functions of a human woman (can hug you from behind and, if you have the headphones on, apologize for being late) and she is also a warm, timelessly-fashioned coat. Not so sure about your own human girlfriends now are you, gentlemen? Thinking about what life would be like if you were to step into my coat, for a change? Hah. I knew it. This is the way it goes every time I get the chance to explain.” – You

“It’s a pity that she has to be left in the closet for the warmer seasons, but she’s usually pretty understanding about it. Sometimes I take her out if the air conditioner was left on by accident. She’s great.” (Via DailyMail.)

Comments (18)
  1. So it simulates hugging? I feel some people need a girlfriend scarf.

  2. Don’t you think maybe Girlfriend Pants would be getting more into what lonely people want or need?

  3. It says the video is unavailable. Now i feel even more alone :(

  4. One day one of these things is going to malfunction and crush someone to death, and there will be a made-for-TV movie about it.

  5. “Hey Kevin. Didja hear that in Japan they’ve invented a ‘Girlfriend Coat’ that will simulate the feeling of being hugged? Heard the’ve also invented a ‘Wife Coat’ that when you put int on a voice says ‘You’re not leaving the house looking like that.” — Jay Leno

    “Ha. Ha. You right, Jay. You right.” — Kevin Eubanks

  6. Fact: If I was single and lonely, buying a coat just so I could feel like someone is hugging me would make me feel at least ten times more single and lonely.

  7. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a good swaddling. I mean, ask a hipster.

  8. It’s like a Thundershirt for sad humans!

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