Sometimes you’ll hear about a celebrity (used here in the broadest terms) doing something that a few years earlier you would not have guessed that they would be reduced to doing, and for a moment you have to recalibrate your thoughts and/or feelings about them. Like, for example, when a Jeremy Renner goes from The Hurt Locker to Hansel And Gretel: Vampire Hunters. Oh no! Jeremy! Or, like, if Alec Baldwin started doing a web series for Cracked, you’d be like, Oh no! Alec! But in the case of Courtney Stodden appearing topless on the cover of a magazine about corpses called GIRLS AND CORPSES you are just like well, no, yeah, I mean, yeah, right, yes. If you had told me the very first time I ever heard of Courtney Stodden that within two short years she would be appearing topless on the cover of a magazine about corpses called Girls and Corpses I would have said “yes, that trajectory and timeline sounds about right.” Good grief. This lady can’t even jump the shark because SHE IS THE SHARK. Or maybe Courtney has known what she was doing all along and everything has been leading up to this moment. Being topless on the cover of Girls and Corpses is her Amistad, standing on the shoulders of her forefathers to reach this pinnacle. And now that she has FINALLY gotten the attention she craved and DESERVED she is done. There’s nothing left to strive for. The summit has been attained, and now we start the slow and mildly depressing return to base camp, flush with the knowledge that we once touched God. (Image via Gawker.)

Comments (18)
  1. Yeah, there’s no way I’m coming anywhere near this with my real name. In fact, I think I need to enter witness protection for even seeing as much as I have seen. Also, I resubmit my petition for Gabe to earn hazard pay.

    • just before I looked at the bank draft which was of $4918, I accept that…my… best friend was truly erning money in their spare time on their apple labtop.. there aunts neighbour had bean doing this less than fourteen months and by now took care of the dept on there house and bought a top of the range Renault 4. go to………..

  2. So now she’s into dudes so old they’re dead?

  3. Doug Hutchison needs to start using moisturizer or something. He is not aging gracefully.

  4. Hey, I thought this was Girls and Corpuses, but I don’t see the complete works of Patricia Highsmith anywhere.

  5. Which one’s Courtney Stodden?

  6. I believe this calls for Dr. Feelgood’s dog-on-skis GIF (which I cannot get to because this office’s Internet suxxx)

  7. Uh Gabe, I think the censoring wasn’t quite right. Here I fixed it for you:

  8. What a fucking lunatic.

  9. I wish there was a ranch or a farm somewhere that would take in women and men who were raised terribly, reprogram them with manual labor and actual job skills and let them back into the world with a basic understanding that they would be left alone by the media forever and never be subjected to idiotic “where are they now” stories or celebrity diving tournaments. Not rehab for addictions, just rehab for celebrity and celebrity culture. We could call it the Lindsay Lohan Memorial Ranch. Not because Lindsay is dead, but because the woman changed her name and is now helping abused animals or cleaning up pollution or teaching poor children somewhere. Amanda Bynes would be there. Courtney too. Lots of people, really.

    Maybe I could start a cult religion that would target these troubled types and start this ranch after they gave me a lot of tax-deductible donations. I saw The Master so I have a pretty good idea on how that would work.

  10. Is this a real magazine that comes out on a cycle and has readers? How??

  11. i’m more surprised that dani filth is still a thing that people are interested in.

  12. You guys have a corpse fetish magazine? o.0

  13. The smile on her face makes me feel so sad

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