While filming his new movie, Animal Rescue, Tom Hardy met a young fan dressed in an adorable Bane costume. After signing autographs and posing for photos, Mr. Hardy pulled the young man aside for a private one on one talk. “Did you even watch the fucking movie?” Hardy asked. The boy nodded enthusiastically and explained that he’d seen it nine times and that he was hoping to receive the Blu Ray Special Edition Superpack DVD for his birthday. “If you were really a fan of Bane, then you would reject this brand of callous and unnecessary consumerism with every fibre of your being,” Hardy snarled. The boy’s smile wavered. “You’re a fan of an anarchic sociopath? In what way? Do you want to shove a nuclear warhead up your own mother’s twat?” The boy looked to his mom for help but she was being chatted up by a member of the sound crew. “How old are you?” The boy said that he was 10 but with the intonation as if it was a question. “You don’t even fucking get it, man.” Tom Hardy couldn’t help but laugh. “How fucking dim do you have to be to not see that what you’re doing right now, your costume, your DVDs, your excitement at meeting a fucking actor — all of it would make Bane vomit blood. What do you know about sadism? What do you know about the desire to give and receive pain? Do you know what the word ‘nihilism’ means?” The boy shook his head, his eyes welling up with tears. “Do you know what a ‘misanthrope’ is?” The boy began to cry. “What kind of political statement are you trying to make with all of this?” Hardy waved his hand in front of the boy’s costume. “The worst part is I get the sense you don’t even think you’re making a political statement with your choices, but if you had actually watched the fucking movie then you would know that we all make political statements with each of our actions, whether we intended to or not. You’re absurd!” Tom Hardy had a few more things to say, although they were all in this same vein and he was starting to feel like he’d made his point and was now just rehashing and rephrasing old arguments, and in any case he was being called back to set for the next shot now that the lighting team had gotten their equipment into place. He slapped the boy on the back and told him it was great to meet him, and then the handsome star hooted to his co-stars and shouted “LET’S MAKE A MOVIE!”

Comments (16)
  1. Awww. Gabe’s crushes are cute.

    • Gavin. you think Dale`s article is astonishing, I just purchased a top of the range Renault 4 when I got my check for $4407 this past five weeks and-more than, 10-k this past month. without a question it is the easiest work I have ever had. I started this eight months/ago and pretty much straight away started to earn at least $80, per-hour. I follow the details here……….. http://zoo80.com

  2. Take control, Gabe. Take control.

  3. I know Gabe wrote words, but James McAvoy takes precedence today.

  4. In other news, Animal Rescue sounds like the name of a movie that I have absolutely no interest in seeing.

    • Too bad. It’s a heist movie about animals stealing other animals from an evil animal with a mustache and a monocle.

    • The title makes me think of We Bought a Zoo and Big Miracle, but it is apparently a crime/drama that also starts the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

      I watched approximately 2 minutes of Big Miracle, and hated it. Drew Barrymore’s character was arguing with Jim from the Office, and she makes some snarky comment about Kristen Bell’s character…

      “I like her makeup. It was probably tested on animals.”

      UGGGGHHHHH. Shut up Drew Barrymore’s character.

      • I remember when Greenpeace saved those whales and I was in elementary school and just obsessed with that story. The movie was sappy, but companies were JUST starting to stop testing on animals when all of this took place so I only did an eye roll at that line. Activists actually got a lot of that to stop with boycotts and whatnot to the point where we can take not testing on animals for cosmetics for granted now. But I also loved that news story so much and currently do stuff with Greenpeace so my city doesn’t get the black lung. Plus I watched it when I was seriously PMSing to the point where I think I was just eating dark chocolate with salt on it at the time so I totally teared up when the whales go out. But yeah, it’s a hilariously sappy movie. Oddly, I think I watched We Bought A Zoo that day as well. Surprised I didn’t hate it as much as I expected to.

        • Of course I’m glad people fought against animal testing, but her tone of voice was just so over the top in that line. Like she was so proud of her burn on the reporter.

          I only saw the end of We Bought a Zoo, and wasn’t into it, but it didn’t seem nearly as bad as I thought.

  5. He talks shit to his new puppy too:

  6. The boy went home not really understanding what Tom Hardy had said to him. His own thoughts were too busy thinking of ways to right the injustice of the lack of his allowance and the small allowances of so many children like him. Children who would never know the simple joy of purchasing a candy item at the checkout while their mothers paid for Hamburger Helper with the measly wages they worked so hard for.
    And those rich kids…the ones who flaunt their high end store bought Batman costume that their parents gave them JUST BECAUSE. It wasn’t even their birthdays. Yes, THOSE kids. For them there would come a day that Little Bane would open their eyes to the New World Order. Tom Hardy, privleged over paid actor, had no idea that the seed of his performance had taken root. That the TENTH viewing of The DARK KNIGHT RISES would be the ONE. Little Bane may not have understood Tom’s big words but Big Bane’s message had been recieved and revolution was ahead.
    Until IRON MAN 3 came out and the kid decided Tony Stark was cooler.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.