“It’s hard to say when one day begins and one day ends, living life mostly underwater without the need to sleep like I do, but I’ll do my best to describe my normal routine. Thank you for having me, in any case. Best case scenario: I float around in a pool for an extended period of time. From what I’ve gathered I’m a robot meant to someday provide underwater surveillance for the Navy, but right now I don’t really do shit. I’m sorry, am I allowed to curse? Yeah–it’s cool? Ok. But so yeah, right now I’m a robot with no real job other than to be further built. Like Lena Dunham would say, “I’m busying becoming who I am,” or whatever, ha-ha. It’s lonely, though. Like if you have a dog and that dog never really has any contact with other dogs, do you think the dog still knows other dogs exist? Or is it as lonely as I am? I guess the sad part is that I know for a fact that there is nowhere I belong — or at least, there’s no where I’m able to belong. Do you think the jellyfish would have me? Give me a break — I’m very clearly a robot. But will the other robots have me? Probably, but who knows! I have to spend all my time by myself, underwater. I don’t mean to turn this into a bummer, but it’s an incredibly lonely existence. Anyway, I hope I get to help the Navy someday. At least then I’ll have a purpose.” – Autonomous Robot Jellyfish

“Ah, I made this too sad, didn’t I? I’m sorry. Do you think you’ll still be able to use it? –Oh, good. Thank you for talking to me. Really. I really appreciate it.” (Via Wired.)

Comments (7)
  1. Do you think anything would hang around long enough to be surveilled if it spotted a jellyfish that fucking huge? I would be runninnng!

    • before I saw the check for $7165, I did not believe that my neighbours mother really erning money part time at there labtop.. there mums best friend had bean doing this for only fourteen months and recently paid the dept on there appartment and purchased a top of the range Land Rover Defender. this is where I went,…….. http://m3mi.com/3416

  2. Oh maaaan I want to have the autonomous robot jellyfish over for tea and sandwiches and we can talk about stuff. I don’t know what stuff, as I’m not sure what an autonomous robot jellyfish and I would have in common. It might just be really awkward, actually. Oh man, what if our tea/sandwich meeting is WORSE than being alone forever, autonomous robot jellyfish? That would be awful. Maybe I was rushing things, bro. Maybe we should IM for a bit before doing anything rash.

    • LBT: So, you know, how you been?
      ARJ: The same, I guess.
      LBT: …
      ARJ: You’re thinking about why they made me again, aren’t you?
      LBT: WHY DID THEY MAKE YOU?
      ARJ: I TOLD YOU, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.

      (End Scene)

  3. When I was in kindergarten, there was a lady who gave my class a lecture about jellyfish. I have no idea why because she was not a teacher; she was a janitor and in charge of the lunch program. I can’t tell you exactly what she said, but my six-year-old ears heard “Jellyfish are everywhere in the ocean, and they will find you, sting you, and you will die.” It took some strong convincing from my parents to get me anywhere near the ocean after that. I’m not scared of them too much anymore, but this video brought some of that terror back.

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