expendables_poster.jpg

Do you like this poster? Do you? It’s OK if you do. Just say that you like this poster. Just say, “when I see this poster, I am intrigued and want to know more.” Is that a movie poster? (That’s you talking still.)

“Is that a movie poster?”
– You.

“Huh, pretty cool poster, don’t you think? I mean, it just seems pretty cool.”
–You.

“Who knows, maybe we should just check this movie out. See what it’s all about. You never know! Could be fun.”
–You.

“The thing about this movie poster, I’m not saying this movie is necessarily going to be my favorite thing of all time, I’m just saying that it definitely features elements that appeal to me. I’m not just going to disregard a movie poster like this when it is so clearly in line with the things that I enjoy.”
–You.

Here are some other things you might like:

Home Tanning Beds.

“The thing is, I don’t have time to lay out in the sun. I’m very busy. Sometimes, I’ll bring a book in there with me, or what’s that thing that’s not a book but it’s like a book? A magazine. Sometimes I just like to lay there and think about stuff. Cars I wish I owned, or whatever. It’s like a mini-vacation, and after 45 minutes I look great.”
–You.

Ed Hardy Wine.

“Matches my t-shirt! And now I’m drunk.”
–You.

Dudes

“I hate when you’re trying to hang out with your bros and they bring their girlfriends. It’s like, guys, can’t we just enjoy each other’s company? Let’s go see this movie. We’ll put our jackets in the seats between us and everyone will know that we’re just really good friends. That Ed Hardy t-shirt looks really pretty I mean tough on you.”
–You.

It’s cool. We all like what we like. The Expendables comes out Spring 2010. Fandango.

Comments (42)
  1. simonsays  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +11

    OK, I’m gay, alright?!

  2. Oh I get it, these are things I really don’t like! You’re such a cad!

  3. Actually, I’m really glad I looked it up on IMDb b/c it made me laugh.

  4. It goes without saying that that’s your boyfriend’s poster.

  5. BLT  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +1

    I do not say or think those things! Take it back now!

  6. i dont get anything

  7. Oh God, there are Ed Hardy wines now? I didn’t need to know that. It’s bad enough that there are Ed Hardy eyeglass frames, which the optometrist made me try on when I went to get new glasses the other day. Talk about UGH.

  8. I think the real question here is “Is this my movie poster?” And the answer is, yep, that’s your movie poster.

  9. ed hardy is one of the things that just makes you want to hang your head and surrender to the forces of evil. no no, world, that’s alright, i won’t fight your evil anymore. i just won’t. i will put on a “tattoo style” drawing t-shirt. i will do it. pass the hair gel.

  10. In my IMDB search for which movie this was, I came across another movie titled “Expendable”, which came out last year. Check out the plot synopsis, cause it rules. And I’m pretty sure it was written by the FEARnet description copywriter:

    “They may wear jumpsuits with skull logos on them and they may carry assault rifles… but really they’re just ordinary guys just like you and me… concerned about health insurance, pension plans, and making it through the workday without being shot, blown up, and/or karate-chopped by smug, oversexed Englishmen. Set in the action-packed world of super-spies, “Expendable” offers a look at this world from the perspective of the mega-villain’s low-level, anonymous henchmen… the mostly decent, hard-working folk whose only job is to wait around for spies and shoot at them when they appear. “Expendable” is their story.”

    • bj  |   Posted on May 17th, 2009 +3

      The best part of that may be the tagline. “It’s about these guys.”

      Really? That’s the tagline? Someone got paid for that?

  11. When I read “Here are some other things you might like,” my immediate thought was EDHARDY. But then you took it to another level with the Ed Hardy WINE, which by association also takes “What” to another new level.

  12. I don’t care. I think the ed hardy t-shirts would look kind of cool if they weren’t appropriated by douchebags. Tigers on fire as a t-shirt design? COOL. I don’t care. Shut up.

    • I’m more bothered that the aesthetic Ed Hardy has appropriated has now become a brand image. This totally fucks over almost everyone* smart enough to avoid tribal tattoos in the past 15 years. Most of my boyfriend’s tattoos are in that “Ed Hardy” style**, and now his skin will be forever associated with douchebag fashion. This is why I have decided against tattoos. No matter how original or meaningful your tattoo is, some asshole might appropriate it and turn it into some bullshit trend that burns out in a couple years.

      *excluding people smart enough to avoid tattoos altogether, natch.
      **while the style is the same the subject matter is different: a pug in a fez, a pirate ship, an orange with blossom, a noh mask, and fantazius mallare

      • Totally agreed. But to be fair, if i saw those tats my first impression would not be “…Ed Hardy-esque….” It would be “OH MY GOD IS THAT A PUG IN A FEZ. AHAHAHA YESSSS”

        Seriously. That is one of the greatest tattoo ideas i have ever heard of.

  13. Oh good, another post where being homosexual is used as a hilarious insult.
    I KNEW I never wanted high school to end.

    • Aw. I’m sorry, lookie-here. Obviously, liking dudes is not an insult, but I realize now that putting it in a list with Ed Hardy wines is the worst thing to happen to the gay community since Prop 8. Sorry, gay community.

      But seriously, come on, this poster is MEGA GAY. Not in a euphemistic way, either. In a the clinical definition of one facet of human sexual orientation way.

      • Yeah I’m less upset because I do realize how much they seem to be attracting gay guys with the rippling back muscles.
        I guess if I was a gay with zero taste my reaction might be “ooh nice back” but since I don’t have zero taste, my reaction is very much similar to yours. (re: ed hardy wines)

  14. Nancy Boy  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +8

    Thanks, Ed Hardy!! TGIFriday’s will finally have something to put on their wine list..

  15. Gay here – this poster definitely hits my homo spot.

    It draws the eye down the back, to the ass. Looks like muscle boy has a little junk in that trunk, too. The shadows around the lower abdomen have kind of a hyper-masculinizing effect on the image – it looks like a big gay action figure. If you like dudes, this poster is, in fact, your boyfriend.

    Don’t make Gabe sad. If anything, he takes sensitivity to the -phobias and the -isms a step further than most people on the intranet.

    • I was just giving an honest reaction. I’m just so used to gayness being used as a generic insult (which is NOT ok in my opinion) and don’t like to see it on my favourite blog. I didn’t accuse him of homophobia.
      BUT I would say since Gabe often takes free reign in accusing others of racism/homophobia/etc, I think it makes it very fair for me to keep him accountable on those things as well, no?

  16. I DO like dudes! I even like it when dudes wrestle! I do not like this poster.

  17. Hey now! This post wasn’t an insult to gays – no need for commenters to insult gays who are strangely drawn to douchebaggy tattoos and overdeveloped back muscles!
    ;)

  18. Did you also know that Ed Hardy manufactures toothbrushes, mouthwash and floss? I shit you not. I do not own them, but I have read about them.

  19. boo  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 0

    Ed Hardy is actually a pretty great artist. I saw a gigantic dragon painting he made and it was really cool. It’s a shame that all that shitty clothing/wine/dental care products (?!) are produced in his name and worn by every douche I know.

    • Selena  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +11

      What’s that? A GIGANTIC Dragon Painting, you say? It’s like the man is Tolouse Lautrec incarnate! ;-)

  20. Nancy Boy  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +13

    There’s already been so many bromantic date movies this year.. 12 Rounds, Crank 2, Fast & Furious.. We’re gonna need a bigger tube of hair gel.

  21. wait but this movie looks incredible, its like a Wes Anderson for everyone else

  22. Gabe’s not making fun of gay men, he’s making fun of “straight” men.

  23. Gabe, dodge all you want, this stuff still falls as flat as – wait for it – your girlfriend’s chest.

    This blog would be a cool ice cream sundae except for this particular poop cherry on top…

  24. David  |   Posted on Jun 4th, 2009 0

    Hi all, I am David.
    Just wanna say thank you for the compliments.
    I am the model on the poster.
    Peace.

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