Uh oh, ladies. Better call the hospital and make sure they have a last minute reservation for a VAGINA REPLACEMENT because yours just EXPLODED. (OK, first of all, I am sorry. That was gross. And I know there are dudes who are into Tom Hardy, too. So dudes, please make sure that you get something to clean up the mess your penis made when it exploded. Ugh. Great. Now my apology has actually made things worse. AND YET NO ONE CAN BE MAD AT ME BECAUSE OF THESE PHOTOS SO I GUESS THAT IT ALL WORKED OUT IN THE END, THANK YOU TOM PUPPY.) Not entirely sure why he bought a puppy on the docks. Seems like a weird place to get a puppy. Otherwise, though, A++ would do business with puppy again. Now, obviously we know what Tom Hardy is thinking: I’m a handsome and famous actor who is enjoying incredible success, sure, but it is only in this moment that there will be entire thematic Tumblr’s dedicated to me and my puppy. BUT WHAT IS THE PUPPY THINKING?

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, which is not as good as a puppy or Carl Kassell’s voice on your answering machine, but it’s something. (Images via Celebitchy.)

Comments (49)
  1. More like Tom Softy

  2. hug puppy fun happy. happy smile

  3. We will destroy the couch cushions and then, when it is done and the couch is ashes, then you have my permission to give me a steak.

    • BATPUP comes to in his kennel. He is clearly in a timeout. HUMAN OWNER AND BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD leers over him.

      BATPUP
      “Why didn’t you just… tell me ‘No’?”

      HUMAN OWNER AND BEST FRIEND
      “Your punishment must be more severe.”

    • *Then, you have my permission to play dead.

  4. He’s probably just doing character research for one of his upcoming films, like Everest, Animal Rescue, or Mad Max: Fury Road. Not sure which one.

  5. According to recent press, Tom Hardy said, “I love my new puppy. Can’t wait to take him home and snuggle the little guy!”

    But in early reports, fans complained that all they heard was muffled, throaty gargling.

  6. The Puppy Whisperer

  7. I know Tom Hardy is all hot and whatever (not Cumberbatch hot, but still), but oh my goodness is that puppy not the cutest thing? What a sweetie!

  8. This isn’t a caption, but I’d just like to suggest, because I know a lot of monsters have really cute pets, I think we should hi-jack the next “10 cutest animals” thread to share pictures of our lovely friends, just to all get it out of our system(s). #WeThePeople

  9. The Dark Knight Raises (a puppy)


  10. EYEAAAAGHLUUUUUUVVVVHEWWWWWDAAAAAAAGHDDDY

  11. I’d like to believe that its conscience is the voice of Morgan Freeman, and it’s just chanting over and over, “Beggin’ Strips, Beggin’ Strips, Beggin’ Strips.”

  12. Bane (character) – Quotes

    Bane: “Calm down, Doggy! Now’s not the time for play. That comes later. ”

    Bane: “Let the Puppy Bowl begin!”

    Bane: “Puppy, take control! Take control of your leash harness. This… this is the instrument of your liberation!”

  13. Tom: All you need is a name.
    Puppy Bronson: What’s wrong with Cutie Patootie?
    Tom: You need a fighting name, like a movie star.
    Puppy Bronson: Lassie. Uggie. Cosmo. Rin Tintin. Air Bud?
    Tom: Look, love. No one gives a toss about Air Bud. The dog’s a cunt. You’re more of the Charles Bronson type.

  14. “I will housebreak you.”

  15. The Bark Knight Rises

  16. I would comment but now I am dead. From the cuteness, not from like the plague or anything.

  17. Even the puppy’s vagina exploded.

  18. I think this is the most jealous I’ve ever been of a dog since Turner & Hooch (he got to hang put with Tom Hanks and help solve a crime!).

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