On the one hand, Brad and Angelina’s wedding is going to be held in a chapel on their Chateau Miraval estate in France, which would be sooo nice. But on the other hand Jennifer “Lonely Empty Womb Troll Woman” Aniston has been going through a lot (only being the romantic lead in every other romcom, being extraordinarily good looking but not impossibly) since breaking up with Brad Pitt 100 years ago and it’s just great to see her happy, finally. So one does want to support that. I just don’t know, you guys! If they both have their weddings in May, how are we ever going to decide?!?! From The Sun:

“Everything points to them getting married in May just after the Cannes Film Festival ends, because they’ve got their hearts set on tying the knot in France.”

Jennifer is finalising her plans to walk down the aisle with screenwriter fiancé Justin Theroux. There was talk she would go to Brad’s wedding, despite him leaving her for Angelina.

“All that goodwill would go out the window if Brad’s wedding date comes close to hers. Jennifer will see it as an attempt to upstage her and there will be a battle over Hollywood guests. She knows they will be judged on who had the better wedding by pulling in the biggest stars.”

EWWWWWWWW EW EW EWWW EWWWWWWWW. “She knows they will be judged on who had the better wedding by pulling in the biggest stars.” What a bunch of bologna. I hope that isn’t true and if it is true CAN WE ALL JUST PLEASE AGREE TO IGNORE IT AND NOT MAKE US THINK ABOUT IT IN A GOSSIP ARTICLE? Since we are thinking about it, though, which wedding is the cast of Spring Breakers going to attend? Maybe we can get in touch with them beforehand and decide that way. Congrats to all the happy couples! (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (24)
  1. Instead of going to either wedding, I’ll be staying at home drinking wine, beer, gin, or all three and watching something wonderful (that doesn’t star either of them) and maybe getting takeout from that place with the really good crab rangoons? I don’t know, we’ll see how I feel that night. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I would rather be literally anywhere besides either of those weddings.

  2. “Everything points to them getting married in May just after the Cannes Film Festival ends, because they’ve got their hearts set on tying the knot in France.”

    This quote is driving me bonkers. As if it’s very hard for these people to go to France. As if it is unusual for the richest people on earth to go there. As if they can’t drop everything and jet over there every morning for croissants. AS IF.

  3. If not giving a shit were an Olympic sport…

  4. I was just planning on hanging at Miss Havisham’s that day. I’ll make sure to send my regrets, though.

  5. I choose any wedding where Justin Theroux is gonna be.

  6. Who cares? By Christmas Justin and Angelina will be adopting babies together. If I cared, which I don’t, I’d only be interested in what type of cake these guys have. Nutella?

  7. Whichever wedding, I’m still not going to choose the fish option.

  8. I know we are all to cool to care here but I feel like it would be difficult not to take it as a bit of a jab if your ex left you for someone, dated her for 8 years while you went through a slew of men, had 6 kids with her (half adopted), and then waited to marry her until roughly the same time as you were getting remarried. I hate to say it, guys, but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie might be bad people.

  9. How sad that these people have to worry about how the public will perceive their weddings.

    It’s bad enough having your parents telling you their opinions on flowers and guest lists. I can’t imagine reading criticisms of our wedding in every magazine or listening to wedding planners and Hollywood agents discussing the planning details.

    • More accurately, I think these peoples’ publicists care about how the public will perceive their weddings. And in the case of Aniston (more so than Angelina or Pitt, because of the types of role they generally play), the public’s idea of her romantic life could affect her career. So that’s different than normal people.
      So it’s sad (in that I feel sorry for them) but not pathetic-sad (in that I hold them in contempt).

      Also this is probably made up.

  10. Well, after reading this, I will be attending neither of their weddings. I hope both couples have learned their lesson.

  11. Jennifer Aniston is a crazy dog lady, and I love her for it. I’m going team Aniston on this, and I will be RSVPing with Doug Pitt, as he is the best Pitt.

  12. I feel like this wedding feud will split the Spring Breakers cast asunder forever

    Brad/Angelina:
    Selena Gomez
    Ashley Benson
    Rachel Korine
    Gucci Mane

    Jennifer/Justin:
    James Franco
    Vanessa Hudgens
    RiFF RAFF (not technically a Spring Breakers cast member, but getting him is a big coup for Team Aniston)

  13. Of course its Angelina’s.

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