Obviously, I don’t care about the Star Trek franchise. No one does. I mean, supposedly lots of people care about it, some of them caring about it too much even, but I don’t know any of them. And I don’t know anyone who knows any of them. As far as I am concerned, they don’t exist. They’re the punchline to a hack comedian’s riff on “endangered nerd species.” Now that science fiction has become a mainstream genre of popular culture, antiquated high-nerd franchises are increasingly irrelevant. We’re all on board. In fact, it’s a sign of just how on board we all are with this kind of stuff that everyone who doesn’t care about Star Trek was as excited if not more for this “reboot” than the fanboys. As far as the rest of us are concerned, there is no legacy to tarnish, and there are no mythologies that can’t be rewritten. “Spock is from planet Pepsi now, and Captain Kirk is in a speed metal band.” Cool, Pepsi is delicious, and speed metal is certainly no worse than, say, old Star Trek.

So, with little to no allegiance/investment to/in the source material, how was it?

It was great! Now THAT is a summer movie. Especially in comparison to last week’s “summer kick-off,” it just goes to show you that you should not throw the terms “summer” and “kick-off” around loosely. Nothing in this movie even looked photoshopped! Man, so many fun and exciting scenes! Space battles! Origin stories! Time travel! This movie is an adamantium bullet to Wolverine‘s face. It won’t kill him, but it will make him forget why he made that movie in the first place.

The casting was almost all great. I had no idea who Chris Pine was, and I still don’t, but good job, Chris Pine! Zachary Quinto, of course, plays Sylar on one of the worst shows on television, but he was very good in this. Very logical! But sometimes very emotional! And I wouldn’t kick Uhuru out of space bed for eating space crackers, if you know what I space mean (she was very space pretty). Simon Pegg: great. Even Leonard Nimoy was pretty good, although they could have cut his part in half. And then cut the half in half. And then had it only be one scene because we get it already. That would leave room for more baby Spock!

Baby Spock was the baby best.

Admittedly, Winona Ryder? Huh. OK. And, the elephant in the ship: TYLER PERRY. What was that all about? Did we learn nothing from the Lesson of Cornel West in Matrix Revolutions? The lesson is what was that all about? I am surprised they didn’t work in a holographic plug for the new season of Meet the Browns. Very funny.

Also, Eric Bana.

Today I want to rap to you guys about safe sex.

Intergalactic Chopper Read from the future! Yikes! (In a good way! Good yikes!)

There were, of course, little eastereggs for Star Trek superfans. As someone, again, who just does not care, I don’t know how those easter eggs played to the nerderati, but they were fun for the casual viewer. “God damn it, I’m a doctor,” and “giving her all she’s got, Captain,” and all that. I get it! I’ve heard those things before! It’s possible that it went deeper library than that, and that I didn’t even recognize the layers upon layers of reference play going on. I don’t even know. I probably missed half the movie, right nerds?

Boy does JJ Abrams love time travel! WHEN is the Star Trek? We have to go back to the Star Trek! That stuff always kind of melts my brain. Like, Scottie will eventually create an algorithm for beaming people onto ships in warp drive, but he hasn’t invented it, so future Spock shows him the algorithm that he will one day invent which is how he invents it? Time travel is your boyfriend, and it is going to take you to the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. But as my friend Max pointed out in reference to my problems with time travel, “that’s more of Gabe criticism than a Star Trek criticism.” Fair enough. I give Gabe one stars.

In any case, JJ Abrams is really very good at this stuff. He should continue to be employed by Hollywood. No need to fire him.

Right, you guys?

Comments (98)
  1. So, yeah, first time I saw any Trek ever, and it was awesome. Great plot and surprisingly hilarious. I went in being like “ACTION AND NERDNESS?” and went out all “LAUGHS AND SMILES”. High five, J.J. Abrams. Though totally did not know Eric Bana was in this until right now.

    Bonus points for using Simon Pegg well. Not enough Simon Pegg, but enough to make me forget the fact he followed up Hot Fuzz (crazy awesomeness) with the running movie with the guy from Friends and the movie where Megan Fox was in a pool in the trailers.

  2. The only non nerdy thing that bothered me about the movie (cause there were lots of nerdy things that bothered me) was Eric Bana’s cotton balls in mouth, throaty voice. Does he really sound like that? His voice was fine, it fit his character great (A+++ would be in an intergalactic struggle with Nero again!) but I just couldn’t stop focusing on his voice. He doesn’t sound like that does he?

    • yea dis moovie sucked i meen why was da old spok in it??? dum. just liek in strasky and hutch when da old guys were at da end. but i lieked it becauz snoop dog was in it!!

  3. Instead of hiring Winona Ryder and putting her in old lady makeup….why not just hire an old lady? Other than that, it was good.

  4. good movie. saw it with my dad, who is a trek fan, and he loved it. my one complaint is that it furthers the notion that in the future there are no guard rails to help prevent you from falling to your death. in the future i will not leave my house without a parachute, i guess.

    • THIS COMMENT WINS. i kept thinking, wow, good thing kirk has magic ninja finger grip because he sure keeps falling off of ledges a lot. WATCH WHERE YOU’RE FALLING, captain.

  5. Paul  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +9

    I died laughing at “Spock is from planet Pepsi now, and Captain Kirk is in a speed metal band.”

    I am no trekkie – I’ve never seen any of the old movies, but this new one was great. I’m seeing it a second time tonight. Also, Simon Pegg should be in every movie. Every last one. Just give him a line or two and your movie is instant gold.

  6. quietdomino  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +13

    When Nerds Write Movies:
    “I’ll be monitoring your frequency.”
    New-hura

  7. Selena  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +10

    This movie was one giant Nerdgasm; that’s why I saw it twice.
    That’ll do, JJ Abrams… That’ll do. :-)

  8. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  9. I loved it! Perfect summer movie. I’m so happy to see a big budget action flick that’s FUN & WITTY. Remember when movies used to be that way? I’m so sick of all this brooding superhero crap. I’m going to nerd out and see it again in Imax tonight.

  10. Eric Bana  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +6

    I’m glad J.J. Abrams didn’t get fired for Cloverfield. Hollywood probably saw Star Trek coming. Foresight!

  11. AP  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +1

    a “chopper” reference!!

  12. Um, yeah. That was pretty great. I do know a trekkie and he’s pretty ridiculous, but he liked the movie (though not as much as myself or our other non-geek friends). So now you know of someone who knows someone who is a Star Trek encyclopedia.

  13. I used to be a trekkie.

    I don’t wanna talk about.

  14. Zachra  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +15

    I let out a very audible “What the fuck?!” whenever I saw Tyler Perry. I apologize to anyone that was in my screening.

  15. Oh, and I was trying to figure out who Tyler Perry was throughout the whole movie. I knew he looked familiar and was the worst, but couldn’t place him…

  16. Chadams  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +3

    Good good stuff. Could’ve used some more Harold and less Charlie Bartlett, though. I’m definitely going again to support this lovely art house indie classic.

  17. It was like Star Trek: LOST.

    It was also pretty badass, I’m glad I was dragged to it

  18. Gabe, you’re confusing Star Trek Time Travel with Lost Time Travel. In Lost, the time travel is recursive (Faraday’s mother kills her own son over and over again forever)! In this movie they kept saying repeatedly “So I guess this means we’re in a tangent universe that is in a totally new canon that does not tarnish or affect the original canon at all?”

    Star Trek Babies can CHANGE things in this movie, they can detonate the hydrogen bomb or whatever because they’re in their own tangent. UNLESS there is only one kind of JJ Abrams Time Travel, in which case, SPOILER ALERT: There is no destiny in Lost. They were just being all recursive because Faraday told them they had to.

    Also I googled “Faraday” to spell check and Google is all like “1 Faraday = 96 485.3415 coulombs” what?

    • this^^^

      Future alternate universe Scotty already invented the equation so current universe Scotty never has to!

    • There is more than one kind of J.J. Abrams time travel. Because Felicity had to go visit that weirdo with all the witchcraft books so she could go to Stanford for the summer and be near Ben. Duh.

    • Uh, you mean “density.”

      • Computer, define ‘destiny’!

        “An event (or a course of events) that will inevitably happen in the future.”

        Hello, didn’t you read The Philosophy of Time Travel included in your special director’s edition of Donnie Darko?

    • what’s funny is that, as someone who doesn’t watch Lost and went to electrician’s school, that’s all a faraday means to me.

      Also, since this is a post about Star Trek, I went with my dad who raised me on the stuff (against my will). We both really enjoyed it, and it was a good chance to bond with the old man.

  19. What in the fuck…when did Spock get hot? And why does Spock baby look like a mini Mark Ronson?

  20. I saw it; I loved it! I even loved the nerd behind me who kept snort-laughing, kicking my seat and interjecting, “THAT’S TOTALLY WHAT HE’D SAY!!” whenever anyone said anything.

  21. Fun? Excitement? Adventure? The audience enjoying themselves… at a Star Trek movie!? Does J.J. Abrams think he’s making a Pixar movie? Where’s the crushing boredom and the interminable lifelessness that we usually associate with Trek?

    Now look at Wolverine… now there’s a movie that knows how to horribly disappoint an audience. It came out of the gate sucking… and sucking hard. Hopefully next time Abrams gets this whole summer movie thing right and fails to make anything remotely enjoyable — the way I’m used to it.

  22. theleathercanary  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 -4

    chris pine stole christian slater’s voice.

  23. Erin  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +25

    I loved it, I’ll be seeing it again soon. The acting was fantastic — which is hard to say when it comes to most young, attractive actors in a major blockbuster — the explosions were awesome, and I liked those two space dinosaurs.

    Also, it made me all warm inside to see that Spock didn’t just get the girl in the end, he’d always HAD the girl and was never in any real danger of losing her. NERDS WIN EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME TO YOUR HOCKEY GAMES AND STADIUM ROCK.

  24. The three exec producers of the movie are also the three creators of LOST. I noticed that during the credits. I hope they work on more movies together.

  25. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • They are not going to make a new Star Trek series in the old universe because it SUCKED.

      You say that “the interesting part of the story was already examined”. First; yikes. Second; no it wasn’t, because the majority of people that are seeing and enjoying this movie did not watch the original series, and thus have no point of reference beyond the obvious pop-culture touchstones. This movie is for you, but not ONLY for you, and you’re gonna have to live with it, nerd.

    • Way to ignore the fact Abrhams has repeatedly said he wanted to make a movie for people who had never been exposed to Star Trek before. He knows he could never 100% please the nerdful, so he tried to do something the others couldnt, make this shit interesting. and he knocked it out of the stratosphere.

    • Chadams  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +5

      Hoo-WOW. Someone took a wrong turn at Ain’t It Cool News.

  26. Raz  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  27. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  28. The only part I really didn’t like at all was when baby Kirk jack-knifed the hotrod off the cliff and jumped out JUST IN TIME because GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

    Who is this baby Kirk, anyway? James Frey in A Million Little Pieces? “I’m an alcoholic who drives with a jug of wine next to me BECAUSE THE PAIN IS MY FUEL!!!” only in this case, “I’m James T. Kirk and I crave near-death experiences BECAUSE I WILL GROW UP TO FUCK GREEN PEOPLE!!!”

    • It was clearly all about his stepdad being a douche-motron, the car was his before it was THE GROUND’S.

      • Right, and that’s cool. I get that. Step dads in movies suck and drive sweet cars. But when baby Kirk steals it, he crashes it into the mailbox at the end of the driveway. He doesn’t Tokyo Drift the thing into Iowa Gorge. Because, you know, Iowa Gorge.

        • Chadams  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +3

          I don’t know Iowa Gorge because before it came to be, it was filled up and turned into a playground.

    • Baby Kirk is basically Baby James Bond in space. He can drive anything.

  29. I wish Zachary Quinto could love me in real life the way he pretended to love Zoe Saldana in that movie.
    In all seriousness though, this is how its done. Action, laughs (I got all hysterical whenever Scotty told his little alien sidekick to get down from things), awesome sets (that were real places! go figure!), plus easter eggs for all the trekkies (I guess I’m sort of a trekkie, and yet I LOVED this movie)
    I’ve seen it twice so far…

  30. Apparently JJ Abrams is a big Tyler Perry fan.
    And Perry had this to say about Abrams: “Looking at him and talking to him, he is the Jewish version of me.”

    http://trekmovie.com/2009/02/07/tyler-perry-on-his-role-in-star-trek-being-directed-by-jj-abrams/

  31. They made Diora Baird so unattractive.
    But then again, they made the star trek theme sound awesome at the end.
    Cue confusing boner schedule.
    “Hey, weren’t you meant to pop up, like, 1 1/2 hours ago?”

    • Sebastian Paper  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +1

      Not Baird. Her ass got cut! I guess you shouldn’t go on a publicity blitz for a bit role you clearly weren’t a good enough actress for.

  32. I didn’t recognize John Cho or Simon Pegg or Tyler Perry or anyone until after the fact. Also:

    Also, I like how Leonard Nemoy was given instant Gandalf status. I mean, I could tell 90% of the audience (my self included) didn’t really care about Star Trek, but when Leonard Nemoy came on we were all like :O !!! He’s the only one from Star Trek we regonize or care about and only because he was on The Simpsons… Twice? Once on the Monorail and once on the episode where Burns was an alien.

    • Chadams  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +1

      Would it have hurt Abrams and Perry to have Perry’s character offer Kirk a bon mot such as, “You can do bad all by yourself!”?

      A: Probably.

  33. The only thing better than this movie (which was awesome) was how my crowd gave a big boo to Michael Bay’s name during the Transformers trailer.

  34. Although I’m not going to say it’s this year’s Dark Knight, it had the same effect – it took characters we’re all slightly familiar with and made it totally acceptable for normal people to geek out about them. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing all morning around the watercooler.

  35. So good! I am not a Trekkie, but that was the first summer “blockbuster” I’ve liked in a long time. Agreed on all points. It was entertaining, charming, good-natured, with good action and very decent acting. Karl Urban, bitches!!!!

    My trekkie boyfriend was disappointed, although admitted to being less thrown into a pit of despair than he thought he would be.

    And heywoodjewbrome, my theater laughed through the entirety of the G.I. Joe trailer. Sooo bad.

  36. also, my entire audience laughed at the heart-wrenching “optimus!!!!!!!!!!” scream in the transformers trailer. well, everyone except the guy sitting next to me. he wasnt very fun.

  37. i feel like every comment i have for this movie should be prefaced with NERD ALERT. like the fact that wormhole time travel is totally okay because it has basis in quantum physics so the time travel story line was not just like whoooops flux capacitor blowed up, we’re cowboys now.

    i actually thought they did the best job ever for a “prequel” style remake. my dad is an original star trek nerd of the 70s so i grew up watching reruns and TNG with him, and i think focusing on the spock/kirk relationship and backstory was actually a good thing for not-too-obsessed former fans and 12 year old boys of today as well.

    also roldie was in a sword fight, so two thumbs up.

    and if you don’t like it, it makes you a dick head.

  38. I don’t know. It kind of bothered me the whole time how tall the buildings were in San Francisco.

    • messyhead  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +1

      UM i did, and i’ve been just refreshing these comments to see if anyone else would agree with you, cuz i thought i was just going crazy.

    • messyhead  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +1

      UM i did, and i’ve been just refreshing these comments to see if anyone else would agree with you, cuz i thought i was just going crazy. then i IMDBed it, and he’s not in the credits. but we really did see him, right?

  39. Selena  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 +4

    Umm, everyone else saw Kal Penn too, Right? I didn’t stick around to see if his name was in the credits- but I swear I saw him- Just a glimpse-behind Roldie.

  40. Sadie Burke  |   Posted on May 11th, 2009 -2

    You know what doesn’t have a basis in physics? Starships outrunning the biggest fucking black hole EVER. That thing should have sucked in the entire universe.

    That said, it was a good movie. Simon Pegg was meh, but Karl Urban was great.

  41. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  42. I’m a trekkie and I know lots of trekkies and we’re all very happy and quite satisfied (minus that douche up above who hasn’t even seen it). So be at ease, dear Gabe. Sure, Spock didn’t swim with a whale and vulcan pinch an 80s punk rocker and Shatner wasn’t there to put the smarm at full tilt, but Sulu said “fencing” and Chekov said “wessels.” HAHAHHA. FENCING AND ATOMIC WESSELS. I LOVE IT. RITE?

    Winona Ryder needs to die in a fire.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • You didn’t like the movie????! YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT!! When you haven’t seen a movie but you rip it apart anyways as a failure of the nerd series, that’s automatic douchebag. It’s just how it works. It’s okay.

        • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • I don’t disagree, but let me give you a tip from one nerd to another: don’t discuss these kind of fears in front of non trekkies in a thread about your thoughts based on watching the movie. When you do, when you say “I’m not going to watch this movie because it will ruin Trek” based on evidence built on your fandom (and that this movie is only for the nerdcore, not everyone), rather than what actually happens, you look like a self righteous nerd asshole. There are many Trek forums out there where your input is welcome and people will understand that your needs are more than a fun plot and exploding ships, but preserving the sacredness of this epic series. Go there.

            On a serious note, in response to your concerns, I think you’ll like it. Sure, it doesn’t have the heart that the show does (IMO nothing will achieve that), but it has the fun of TOS movies. And if you like those, you will like this.

          • If you haven’t actually seen a movie, you cannot form a well-founded opinion about it. I would say that’s a pretty LOGICAL and INTELLIGENT POINT, and I’m pretty sure everyone with a sound mind would agree with it. So please stop your whining, and watch the damn thing before you conclude whether it deserves criticism or not.

  43. I thought it was totally awesome.

    Except I kind of didn’t like how the villains were piloting a not quite as cool version of Red Dwarf. The movie starts with this crazy alien spaceship popping out of black hole and utterly dwarfing a federation ship, and I’m thinking, “oh man, what kind of crazy guys are these? I can’t wait to find out what kind of hardcore villains are inside that thing.” And it turns out it’s a handful of space prospectors led by Captain Smarmy. I like my action blockbuster villains larger then life, please.

    Also, Onion aside, I kind of like how Star Trek tries to be like, intellectual and metaphorical and such. Not that it really does those things that well most of the time, but I appreciate the effort. This movie really has nothing much to say.

    When I saw the ads and trailers I thought that would bug me, but it really didn’t; Star Wars never had anything to say and Star Wars is awesome. I’m just going to go ahead and say that this is also the Star Wars prequel, since this movie has all the fun likable characters and the epic space battles and alien planets and big scope of the good Star Wars movies.

    And, seriously Onion, don’t diss the Gorn. The Gorn rules.

  44. Great movie. At first, I hadn’t noticed Spock’s mother was played by Winona Ryder, and even then I didn’t think the performance really fit the part – but hey, she’s in it for only three scenes, so the damage was constrained. Dito for Tyler Perry.

    Eric Bana, Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto were no less than fantastic in their roles; I think it’s partly due to the top-notch screenplay they had to play around with. It was the thrilling, intelligent storyline that truly made this movie one for the ages.

  45. “Now that science fiction has become a mainstream genre of popular culture, antiquated high-nerd franchises are increasingly irrelevant.”

    Yeah, I know right? Science fiction used to be so fringe and underground. It’s great to see it finally coming into its own these days.

    Oy.

  46. VoteQuimby  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +2

    I would do Eric Bana if he were really Captain Nero.

  47. I saw Star Trek on Saturday night. I have a couple of questions: SPOILERS

    1.) how come there were no actual military personnel anywhere near the “flagship of the fleet”, the Enterprise, and so when the military crisis happened it was up to a bunch of CADETS to take over every job on the ship?
    2.) Capt. Pike appointing Kirk “1st Officer” of the ship, as a CADET, and then having said cadet take over command…um, were there no actual officers anywhere on earth?
    3.) The Romulans are pissed because Spock tried to rescue their planet but arrived too late with the “red matter.” However, this created a singularity that allowed the Romulans to traverse time. Why didn’t they just traverse time right back to a point before Romulus got destroyed and un-destroy it? It’s called science.
    4.) The Angry Romulans have waited 25 years for Spock to reappear, but again, they have a goddamn TIME MACHINE, or the equivalent know-how with their ship and wormholes. Why would they even have to wait 10 minutes?
    5.) Kirk becomes an enraged, flailing asshole on the ship and Spock has him offloaded to a conveniently nearby planet. Kirk then plays a video game level running away from a monster and falls on top of Old Spock. Could one describe this as a bit too goddamn unlikely, even in a space future time-travelling Muppet Babies take Enterprise world?
    6.) The Romulan space drill: holds 2 dudes inside with swords. Good thing Pike decided to send 2 CADETS (again with the cadets) to knock out said drill and engage in swordplay on the top of the drill, which is THOUSANDS of feet above ground, yet there is not so much as a wisp of air to disturb Kirk’s hairdo. Most people would also agree you could fall 10,000 feet onto hard metal and just say “ow” and get up and have a swordfight. Again, it’s called SCIENCE, and in the future, physics gets voted off the island.
    7.) why do space villains always have dark ships with dripping water and heavy metal inspired sharp, pointy things everywhere? And chains. And catwalks above chasms that force you to hop from one to the next? Who designs space villain ships? And why did it look like a squid with hooks in it’s tendrils/tentacles?
    8.) Was no one bothered that suddenly in this film they thought it was necessary to destroy the planet Vulcan and over “6 billion” Vulcans, in order to make Spoke emotionally unavailable? Over 6 billion served, I guess!
    9.) The CW Presents: Star Trek! Bigger, Louder, Explodier.
    10.) Chekhov can beam up 3 independent targets hurtling through the air in different trajectories, but when Winona Ryder falls off a ledge, he can’t grab her with the transporter. What?
    11.) There’s more, but I went deaf in the film.

    • Well, to be fair, the movie made it pretty clear (Well, sort of clear. Okay, vaguely clear) that the time travel via black hole thing was an unrepeatable freak accident. You know the kind. It’s how superheroes get their powers.

      If they tried to fly through another black hole they’d probably just be smushed.

      As for #10, I kind of just figured she hit the ground before Chekhov could get a new bead on her.

      I’m with you on #7 though, especially given that the ship was designed for mining, and not for being a scary bad guy flagship. Romulans have over a hundred words for “snow” but no word for “OSHA”.

    • 1. In the future the federation replaces all military. They are a peace-keeping organization among other things.
      2. James T. Kirk has more charisma than every other officer combined.
      3. They don’t control what parts of time they’re flying around. It was a fluke. Black holes are basically just Deus Ex Machina. Don’t over analyze.
      4. (see above)
      5. It’s a summer action movie. Not an Oscar contender.
      6. You’re right. The drill should’ve held 8 romulans and, like, 10 ninjas. Cuz that would’ve been more exciting, which is what this movie aimed to be.
      7. Cthulu
      8. It takes a lot to provoke a Vulcan.
      9. That’s not even a question.
      10. Winona Ryder deserved to die. Chekov knew this.
      11. Whatevs, man. I saw it in Imax, went to a Mastodon concert, sat behind an airplane and then listened to a jackhammer. My ears are fine.

      • Dude, you were like, totally spitting all over the keyboard. Maybe you should go get your braces tightened? Did you find a job yet for this summer? Yes, I’m insulting you for being 15.

  48. Spock'sLady  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 0

    also as a non trekkie, I loved it. Spock is Hot!!!!!!! His intelligence was really a turn on and that uhura liked him and not kirk shows that intelligence over muscles is cool.

  49. bob  |   Posted on May 12th, 2009 +3

    fistful, the batman franchise was dead from sucking too much until nolan resurrected it by starting over and reinventing it with pure awesomeness. as much as you’d like to deny it (without even seeing the movie), the same has been done with star trek. the franchise has sucked for too long and needed to be reinvented.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • Jago  |   Posted on May 13th, 2009 +1

        This new movie series doesn’t have to worry about canon. Not going to spoil any of it for you, but Old Spock totally justifies the difference between old Star Trek canon and this movie in three lines.

        And if you still decide to hate it, then I hate you, and you’re a bad person for ruining my fun.

      • Didn’t they ALREADY boot the franchise into the future with a whole new cast with “Star Trek: The Next Generation?” Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to achieve different results is a sign of insanity.

        Pushing the series EVEN FURTHER into the future isn’t going to help any. That’s not a reboot because there’s still millions of years of continuity for the uninitiated to wade through.

        Had they done it your way, the movie wouldn’t have made the money that it did. That’s why they have professionals to figure these things out, not you.

  50. Anybody that cares (count:0) should know that Garmanbozia’s post is what I would have written if I had seen the movie.

  51. do you have some kind of nerd tourette’s? shut up.

  52. Okay Fist, I’ll bite. I grew up on TOS and this movie rocks. It is 100% about exploring the unknown: the future. Which is now wide open. That is unsettling. Things are more dangerous — Planet Vulcan hello? Alt Spock is a more prone to anger, Alt Kirk is Captain with lots less experience — they are themselves sorta unknowns. There’s a Big Theme for ya (How would we be different if [our dad died, etc]). Bottom line: I don’t care about Captain Janeway, I never went to a Picard movie, and Quantum Leap. Kirk is the heart of the whole stupid universe, so a movie without him is… meh. Plus, setting things further in the future = yawn. Picard’s 24th cent Enterprise was boringly invincible, and full of children, and Guinan, and carpeted, and everyone so sensitive about each other’s feelings. Barf. Take me back to the rough & tumble 23rd cent.

    Okay, that hurt to type.

  53. Evan  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 +3

    “Are you out of your VULCAN MIND!?”

  54. As a self-proclaimed nerd, I loved all the easter eggs and references. I also liked the random comic relief tiny barnacle-alien man (Simon Pegg made it work, even though whut? This isn’t Star Wars. All the aliens are human except for one or two defining yet cheap-to-apply makeup features like body paint or eyebrow plucking), and the fact that you couldn’t really tell whether Nero yelled “Spock!” or a word not appropriate for your delicate ears.

  55. I can’t believe that was Karl Urban. I went the whole movie thinking, “who is this poor man’s Nathan Fillion-Hugh Jackman hybrid?”. Good for him, playing outside the Eomer-Bourne Assassin Box. He did a great job.

  56. I’m glad Spock got the girl. God, Spock was attractive. I’m glad I’m not alone on this.
    What was that insufferable Charlie Bartlett(Fact: TWMOAT) kid doing in this movie?

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