Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of a million fingers snapping. All the cool cats are digging this asshole’s hateful groove! Snap snap snap snap! Snap snap snap! I love that no one involved with this bothered to ask themselves the question: should we just NOT make a video of homophobic slam poetry? Like, considering the limited audience for poetry in general, and the poverty of this medium for truly getting across our hate-filled message, should we maybe do something else with our time? That question was never even raised. The question that was asked was “should we tape this in the woods because poetry?” And the answer was a resounding “OH HELL YEAH.” (Thanks for the tip, Tom.)

Comments (53)
  1. I can’t use sound at work so the video is lost on me for now (and really always, at least the subject matter) but I’m just guessing the “Rated T for Tolerance” is the classic red herring that backwards or corrupt entities throw at you in an almost comical attempt to fool you? Other examples include:

    The Deomcratic Republic of the Congo
    The People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea
    Fox News: Fair and Balanced

    • You are correct! I think every rhyme in the video is based on an -ate suffix (only the best poets and rappers stick exclusively to the -ate suffix), with the exception of some awkward half rhymes, and yet she somehow couldn’t fit “tolerate” in there, at any point (unless I missed it, but I’m not going back to listen again).

  2. “Homosexuality is not innate. It is not a genetic trait.”? Thanks for your input, Dr. Slam Poet!
    Oh, I’m sorry, you’re not a doctor? I meant Professor Slam Poet, my bad!
    Wait, you’re not a professor either? Just a girl standing in the woods looking smug and justifying her superiority complex by taking 2000-year-old words that have gone through multiple translations out of context?
    Then what I meant to say was “Fuck you, Ms Slam Poet.” Sorry for the confusion.

    • Gabe’s “should we just NOT make a video of homophobic slam poetry?” has never wrung truer. This is utterly awful. And the two or more people involved in making this must be brain-dead losers because this is garbage. The only people watching this are people doing it out of sheer joy because it is so awful that it is entertaining. Besides all the negative homosexuality comments, it’s like: Make a better video to get your point across. Also, keep it to yourself!

      • Right! When you screw up in the first line (“propergate”), it’s like, I don’t know, maybe cut there and try again?

        • no, it’s better, it wasn’t a screw up, because she also says “properganda” That is ACTUALLY how she thinks it’s pronounced! That, and the all ‘ate’ rhyme scheme… i mean, seriously, her art is so profound, it makes The Wasteland look like an acrostic I wrote in 5th grade.

  3. Milly noooooooo!

  4. And I thought slam poetry sucked before I saw this video.

  5. I know someone who is uses generic art to be aggressively condescending in the same way. Like, she’ll paint paint-by-number-esque landscapes and will then write in color pencils stuff like “why are you so selfish that you don’t love God?” Otherwise she’s a great person but maaaan, that is some weird thinly-veiled angry shit.

  6. Lady Dryad, it is sad that your tree has fallen but I do not think the gays are to blame.

  7. She definitely seems like someone who knows enough about the world to have something important to say about homosexuality.

  8. I feel like if I were the type of person to feel an overwhelming need to spread the message of how being gay is bad, I would also be the type of person who thought filming a poetry reading in the woods is pretty gay. I guess creative differences may be the least of the problems with this video, though.

    • Hahaha, catweazle! Did you just make this? This is the best piece of blingee art I’ve ever seen. It is literally art and should be splayed across a gallery! Classic.

      • I’ve found that sometimes the only way to adequately express my feelings about something is with a Blingee.

        • It truly is the most appropriate reaction to this terrible little girl. I would hope that she would grow and learn and feel bad about all this, but I think the caption to your blingee sums it all up.

    • If I had known you were going to make all my efforts at everything in life look so pathetic by posting something so perfect, I wouldn’t have even bothered waking up this morning.

  9. I bet when some religious conservative sees this and approaches her he’ll say, “I can’t endorse this. You look like a fool.” And then she’ll say, “If you can’t endorse this then you are gay.” And then he’ll reply with, “You make a valid point.”

  10. I know I haven’t read the Bible recently, but I’m pretty sure I remember it saying that God hates slam poetry.

    • That reminds me, Amazon Books posted the innocent sounding question “What book have you read that changed your life?” and the first four comments were fiction titles, and the fifth person said (in all caps, natch): “THE BIBLE.” And then it was like, “yeah, I meant that book AND the Bible, yeah) and it was pretty much a thread killer. It’s like people who can’t go five minutes without saying they’re vegan (not that there’s anything wrong with that, just that, yeah, I heard you the first time).

      • The percentage of those people who listed the Bible that have actually read THE ENTIRE Bible is probably .5%

        • The Bible is to Christian people what Infinite Jest is to intellectuals

          • I really am going to read that one day.

          • Mr. Artdork grew up evangelical, so he’s actually read the Bible all the way through on more than one occasion. Of course, now he’s an agnostic, pro gay, pro choice, heathen liberal. Make of that what you will.

          • @artdork, props to him. I’ve read bits and pieces (Revelation kind of fits into my love for distopian/disaster fiction), but never all the way through. It is actually on my list, but there are plenty of other books that keep getting in the way. There’s nothing wrong with reading the Bible all the way through, it’s the part where people take it literally that makes it sad.

      • This reminds me that there were stickers plastered all over my subway station today that said “Jesus Is The Way” and some numbers of Bible verses, and it’s just, do they think someone is going to be like “What is this Jesus of which you speak? I must know more!” COME ON </Bluth>

  11. I can’t even with this bitch.

  12. Fixed that part at the end for you, Miss Judgey.

    • jesus hated everyone that i hate, fact.

    • HAHAHAHA This is perfect.

      It’s funny that all these religious conservative folk refuse to realize that JESUS NEVER DISCRIMINATED! At least according to that fiction novel known as the Bible.

      • Jesus was good cop. Technically, since bad cop old school (testament) O.G. is technically also Jesus by the whole Trinity thing, he did ‘say’ the stuff in the old books (and by ‘say’ they mean someone wrote that was apparently divinely inspired) but that seems to be taking advantage of loopholes at that point.

  13. I thought she was just doing a cover of an INXS song…

  14. My biggest question is… who is supposed to watch this? what is your target audience? Do you want a pat on the back from other hatemongers? Then maybe just keep that to your small terrible circle of friends at youth group.

    Do you want to try to convert the gays? Then why isn’t this a seven minute long techno remix sampling Robyn’s Dancing on My Own?

    #marketing

    • Now that you mention it, WHY ISN’T THIS A SEVEN MINUTE LONG TECHNO REMIX SAMPLING ROBYN’S DANCING ON MY OWN? What are we even doing here?

  15. Did anyone read the youtube description? Best quote: “Love is not a right; it is a God-given privilege bought at an extreme price — death on a cross.” This girl has a really fucking narrow-minded view of what love is.

    • For fuck’s sake. Since i feel lousy and masochistic today, i didn’t stop there… i went to their channel to see what other nuggets they have posted. They have a totally logical, fact-based “50 ways same sex marriage affects society” video. Admittedly, i only made it to #6 or #7, but so far it has been nothing but OMG BIGOTS WILL FREAK OUT IF GAYS CAN GET MARRIED and then they went straight into how embarrassing a trans person is to their family. The ignorance is astounding, it really ventures into Poe’s Law territory.

      • I had a conversation the other night with a friend whose sister just came out of the closet. Her parents are freaking out. It made me realize how grateful I am to come from a family that just accepts everything (gay uncle, catholic cousin marrying a jewish woman in 1970, other cousin marrying a black woman in 1968). If I was gay and came out or decided to get a sex change I’m pretty sure my mom would be the most fucking supportive woman on the planet.

        At this point I just feel bad for bigots, they really have no idea how awesome it is to actually be loved for exactly who you are and not what you are expected to be.

      • I just listened to a few of them, too. These fucking “reasons” have nothing to do with marriage to even begin with.

        “When you’re husband leaves because he’s queer. Talk about rejection.”

        What does that have to do with same sex marriage?

        These people are insane. Absolutely insane. And I love how they’ve disabled all comments. I realize they’d get a lot of shit on their board, but it’s showing just how narrow-minded they are. No chance for a discussion.

  16. Rated B for Bullshit.

  17. Needs more Taylor Swift.

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  19. BEST INSANE CLOWN POSSE COVER EVER!!!

  20. I am not convinced this is slam poetry. I think she might just have a speech impediment.

    Love the Bryan Adams muzak in the background, though.

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